Big Decision

I've been thinking about this for a while, and now I've talked to my advisor and made the decision, so I feel comfortable telling the rest of the universe.
I'm dropping down from the PhD program to the MS program in microbiology.
I've had a very difficult semester. I don't see myself going to school for five years before I get any payoff, and moving to the MS program ensures that I can be done and leave with an advanced degree if I so choose. I could choose to keep going, maybe that's what will happen, but for now I'm moving to an MS. My advisor was really helpful and is very encouraging, so I feel like the department is going to help me succeed. Now I just need to find someone who is willing to let me rotate in their lab and take on a master's student. Hopefully that will happen soon and I can get started on a project.
I feel very relieved and at peace about this decision. I just don't see myself in academia for the rest of my life, so I'm not sure a PhD is even necessary at this point.

Fishtail Palm: Des Moines Botanical Center

I think this palm tree is really cool looking. It's called a fishtail palm, and I think it's pretty obvious why. It's really tall. I had to look straight up to take this picture. I like it because it's different from the standard palm tree.

Des Moines Botanical Center: Koi

 There are lots of koi in the stream that goes through the botanical center. They're really pretty fish, even though they're related to carp, which are kind of ugly looking. Some of them are really big.

 Most of the koi in the pond were orange, but they did have some of the white varieties. They are my favorite.

While I was looking at the koi, I noticed this painted turtle! Painted turtles are from Michigan, so I had to take a picture of my Michigander turtle friend.

Des Moines Botanical Center: Palm

This is some kind of palm. I took a picture of it because of the leaves. You can see that some parts of the leaves are attached to each other near the stem, but as the leaves grow outward they are separated. This actually is because of apoptosis-programmed cell death. As the leaves grow, the cells that attach the leaves to each other undergo apoptosis and die, letting the leaves separate. How cool is that?

Bananas: Des Moines Botanical Center

 This is a baby banana tree. Look at how little and cute it is! I'd never seen a baby banana tree before.

And this is an adult banana tree making bananas. They grow up so fast...

Funky Cactus of the Day

This is a close up of this weird cactus at the Des Moines Botanical Center. It has a thick stem, these adorable little tiny leaves, and gigantic thorns! It looks pretty crazy but I bet it protects itself well from predators. I kind of want one because they look really neat but I would always be afraid that I would hurt myself on it.

April is the cruelest month

Man, it's April already and I am feeling behind. March pretty much took a big dump on me. I was really depressed and anxious and between that and getting physically ill I didn't feel great on a regular basis. Then my Great Aunt Jan died. I barely spent any time at lab, so essentially I'm starting over tomorrow brand new. Dr. Phillips has been very understanding, which is good, but I feel the pressure because I want to stay in this lab and I can't fuck it up. Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting regularly back into lab. My grades are fine so I'm less worried about those. But of course, something else had to happen to make me feel off. I heard from my mum yesterday that our oldest cat, Miss Demeanor, is probably coming to the end of her life. She has hyperthyroidism and now my parents have to give her IV fluids every week. I don't know how much time she has left, and I don't know if I'll get to see her one more time or not. It's hard to think about especially when I have other things to focus on. I don't know if I'll talk about at group therapy or not, but I'm just trying to get my act together.
In addition, I'm trying really hard to get back on track with my weight loss. I gained about ten pounds in February and March. I started doing Zumba, which I really like, and hopefully it'll help me out. Dan has talked about getting me to run with him, which I think I'll do. I'm crap at running because I'm built to be a sprinter, but if I get to work out and spend time with the guy I'm dating, that seems like a good idea to me. My food intake is really hard to deal with but I'm trying to cut back more, because I know I'm eating too much. It's just difficult when I'm so stressed out.

Turtles at Des Moines Botanical Center

Yay turtles! There are a lot of turtles and koi in the stream that runs through the center. All of these turtles were lined up on the bank. Eventually they got bored and jumped back in the water, but it was cute while it lasted!

Tulips: Des Moines Botanical Center

These are some of the tulips growing inside at the Botanical Center. The outside tulips hadn't bloomed yet when I was there, although by now they might be. I really liked both the purple and the yellow and orange ones. Fun fact: the stripes in tulips are caused by a plant virus. People have been manipulating the infected tulips to create new varieties for years.

Allspice Flower: Des Moines Botanical Center

Woo, I'm done with my Omaha zoo photos, so now we're moving to the pictures I took at the Des Moines Botanical Center. It's in downtown Des Moines and it's a pretty cool place! I love taking pictures of flowers so I had a lot of fun there. So be prepared for a crap load of flower pictures. Anyway, this is an allspice flower. I didn't know where allspice came from but apparently it's a tree and it makes these nice flowers.

Omaha Zoo Penguins

Look how cute the penguins were! They were all lined up outside this door like a bunch of preschoolers lining up at the end of recess. They were too adorable.

Omaha Zoo Birds

 Here's this neat crane that was sitting all by itself. I don't know what it was up to.

 This is a black swan. I think they're really pretty! Prettier than normal swans.

 These flamingos were having a heated discussion about something, which is why they got all poofy in the back.

 They resolved it eventually although I don't know what the argument was about.

I'm not sure what kind of bird this is, but he was pretty chill and sat on this branch the whole time.

Omaha Zoo Madagascar Exhibit

 One of the cool things at the Omaha Zoo is an exhibit that's all about Madagascar. Some of the nocturnal animals I couldn't get good pictures of, like the bats, but there were some I could photograph. For example, the tortoises above.

 This is pretty much  my most favorite thing ever. It's a pile of ring-tailed lemurs. They were all asleep in this little fluffy pile. I think there are four or five of them in there.

 See? They are adorable. I want a pile of lemurs. They look really fluffy too, like they would be awesome to pet.

 The tortoises a little closer up. No, they aren't getting it on, they were just being extraordinarily active.

This is a brown lemur. It's asleep in that incredibly uncomfortable looking position. I don't know how it managed to sleep that way.

Omaha Zoo Big Cats

 The tigers were mostly very sleepy while we were there. It's weird to see big cats stretching and doing the same things that my cat Memo does.

 This tiger had an attitude! He reminded me a lot of Wisp-he was giving us some angry eyebrows and looks.

 This lioness reminded me of Miss Demeanor. She looked like a long-suffering matriarch over the other lions.

 They had white tigers! I love white tigers. This one was stretching and looking all cute.

 It's Memo's bigger cousin, the black panther! He was very very sleepy.

Memo actually sleeps like this on the arms of my sofa sometimes. It's hilarious.

Omaha Zoo Desert Dome

 This is the geodesic dome that the desert exhibits at the Omaha Zoo are in. It's a gigantic dome.

 This is a desert cat. It was very sleepy and ignored me while I took its picture. It was pretty cute though.

 There were five or six of these pretty birds. I wish we had more colorful birds like this in Iowa.

 I was able to get a close up of one of the pretty birds. They were really cool!

 This is some kind of funky bird with little thin legs. I don't remember exactly what it was called though.

 This desert deer was in the same enclosure as the meerkats. All these kids were freaking out at the meerkats, and the deer just stood there chewing something. It was very calm. So I took a picture of it because I liked it better than the meerkats.

 It's a kooaburra! I really want one. They are super pretty! My dad said they were all over the place when he visited Melbourne.

 Lynxes! I was lucky to get a shot of both of them together, because the one on the left was prowling around a lot.

Desert tortoises. Their shells are more colorful in person.

RIP Aunt Jan

My dad just called and told me that my great aunt Jan died this morning. I think I'm still in the shock phase. Last Friday my grandpa called and said that aunt Jan had a stroke but that they didn't know how serious it was. By that evening, she had several seizures and was pretty much brain dead. She had told my great uncle Harry not to keep her on life support if that happened, so since then we've been kind of waiting for her to die. I'm glad she didn't suffer for a long time, but it just seems so unreal. I saw her when I was home for Christmas and she was perfectly healthy. This is such a surprise. She was 82 but she looked so much younger than her age and seemed to be just fine in December, so it's kind of a shock that she's gone.

Spring Break

This will be my first post about Spring Break. I'll have a bunch of posts later with pictures in them once I upload them to my computer, but I can talk about it right now. The first half of Spring Break was boring, but on Thursday my parents got into town! The first thing we did was eat at Hickory Park, because we always eat there. Then we took a pilgrimage to Prairieland Herbs! My mum buys stuff from them online all the time, but she'd never been to the store so we all went there. It was nice and warm there and I got to pet their ponies! Then we went to Ledges State Park. I really like going to Ledges and I'd told my parents about it, but they'd never been there. Even though the trees aren't leafy and not a whole lot is blooming yet, it was still pretty and the day was nice and warm. Then on Friday we drove to Omaha. I had never been to Nebraska, so now I can add another state to my list. We went to the Omaha Zoo, and it was really cool! The coolest part was the nocturnal exhibit. They have the day-night cycle changed so that the nocturnal animals are awake while people can visit. It was really cool. On Saturday we went to the Des Moines Botanical Center. Again, the outside gardens weren't blooming much, but the inside was really nice and it was fun. Then my parents wanted to see Jordan Creek Mall, so we went there. Afterwards we ate at the Machine Shed. On Sunday we went to church, then we ate at Hickory Park again. Then my dad helped me get unstuck in my Zelda game, and then they had to go home. It was awesome to see them and hopefully I can see them again in the summer.

Spring is on the way!

This winter has been really mild! We've barely had any snow at all, and now it's mid-March and almost spring. And man, it really feels like it! This whole week it's going to be in the 70s. I'm still kind of waiting for the inevitable late April ice storm, but for now I'm just enjoying the weather.
I'm on Spring Break right now. My parents are coming to visit later this week. I've been doing a lot of spring cleaning and organizing. It's especially important because I'm moving at the end of July so going through some of my stuff and cleaning out what I don't need now will make packing easier. I usually don't like cleaning but right now I'm feeling productive and useful so I'm going to roll with it!
School is going alright. My second biochemistry test pretty much sucked because 25% of the test was on a chapter the professor specifically said wasn't going to be on the test. It sucks, but hopefully everyone else did crappily so my grade will still be okay. Virology ends next week, which is kind of a bummer. The next class is Microbial Ecology and Environmental Monitoring. I'm not really interested in that, but maybe the professor will be good and I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Everything is going great with Dan too. We're both still pretty busy and don't get to see each other as much as we want, but everytime we spend time together it just makes me really happy. Last Friday we spent the afternoon at Ledges, and it was so nice out and I really enjoyed being out there with him. I really hope everything keeps going awesome because I really like him :)
That's about all that's going on in my life right now. I feel like I'm a little bit boring right now!

Third Rotation

I started my third rotation on Friday. I'm working on two projects in Dr. Phillip's lab. The first one, which has funding, is a metagenomics project. A group on campus has a mouse model for colorectal cancer, and they are interested in how feeding resistant starch might affect the gut. We get samples from them and we're supposed to do next generation sequencing to see if there is a change in the gut microbiota. Right now we've used 454 pyrosequencing, but we might start using Illumina MiSeq. I don't know how to do any of this stuff so it will be exciting to learn. The second project is more of an investment so it's something to do on the side rather than as a main project. It's a proof of concept of a type of sequencing called transposon sequencing. You mutate a bacterium with a Mariner transposon, then subject some of the colonies to selection pressure, and then sequence to determine which genes might be essential for survival and propagation. Transposon sequencing isn't very common so we have to get a publication first and then we can probably get some grant money. So I'm working on transposon sequencing of Yersinia pestis, which is bubonic plague. Right now the selection pressure is simple, it's just growing them in media without leucine, but if this works well then we can put some of the Y. pestis into mice and that will be the selection pressure. So far it's very interesting and I think it's very likely that I'll do my thesis in this lab!

Random Collection of Things

Yeah, I don't have a whole lot going on to blog about, because for the past couple of weeks have just been going to class, seeing Dan, and my usual procrastination regarding chores. I did get my first biochemistry exam back and I got an 82.5%, which was way better than I expected. There's another exam on Monday so hopefully I keep doing that well. The class is so obnoxious. Virology started and that is a really cool class, and the professor is really good. I'm starting my last rotation soon, I just have to meet with Dr. Phillips again and then I'll start. I'm really looking forward to this rotation because this is the lab I want to be in. I'm hoping it turns out well. I signed the lease for my townhouse today. I really wish I could  move now instead of having to wait until August 1st. It's going to be such a pain hiring movers and carpet cleaners and doing the move-out inspection when everyone else is doing the same thing. The carpet cleaning thing is such a pain, I wish Hunziker would just keep part of my deposit and do it themselves. Ugh. As it is I'll probably have to move all my stuff out on July 30th, get the carpet cleaned either then or early on the 31st, and then have the move out inspection on the 31st, but I can't move in to the new place until August 1st, so I'll have to be able to keep my stuff on the moving truck for two nights, and I'll have to find somewhere to sleep. Hopefully Dan and I will still be together then so I can stay at his place, but who knows. I'm really hoping this is the last time I move for a while because it is such a pain in the butt!

Sinuses...

Yesterday it was sunny until the evening and then it rained like crazy. Normally that would be nice, but the abrupt weather change made my sinuses flip out. Today I have a sore throat and my nose constantly feels like I'm about to sneeze, except of course I never actually sneeze. I'm drinking gallons of tea to keep myself hydrated and placate my throat. I have a special blend of tea that also helps with sinus headaches, so I'm waiting for it to be ready as I type this. Ugh, I hate having delicate sinuses. I just needed to complain for a little bit.

Townhouse!

Last Saturday afternoon I checked out a townhouse that's for rent. The apartment I'm in now is okay,  but there are too many undergrads and it's too loud. So I looked around and this townhouse came up. It's in a residential area and is surrounded by single family homes. It's really quiet, which is what I want. Then I got to see the actual unit. It's on the end so I only have neighbors on one side. AWESOME. There's a washer and dryer in the unit, the kitchen is nice, there's three bedrooms, and a big bathroom with a linen closet in it. There's also a garage!!! My poor car won't have to sit outside all the time now. And I also get two parking spaces so I can have visitors over without worrying about parking. It's cat friendly obviously because I won't leave Memo behind. Today I got the call that I got it and I'm signing my lease on Thursday! Then I get to move in on August 1st! Somehow I have to figure out how to hire movers and get the carpet cleaned at the old place before my move-out inspection. I have a feeling I'll need a couple of days so hopefully I can find movers that will let me store my crap on the truck for a day or two, and I'll have to find somewhere to crash for a couple nights. Worst case is that I get a hotel room, but maybe I'll be able to crash somewhere. Anyway, I'm getting the place!! YAY!!!

Miss Demeanor and Mischief

Miss Demeanor wasn't feeling very good, so Mischief was concerned and kept her company all day. That is Mischief's concerned collie face. Miss D. is grumpy because she was dehydrated and had to go to the vet to get IV fluids.

First Date!

Soooo...I went on a date yesterday. I kind of surprised myself because I've been terrified of putting myself out there, but I really am ready for a relationship and want to be with someone. My friend Tessa told me that OkCupid wasn't too horrible as far as dating in Iowa went, so I made a profile and said what the hell (thanks Tessa!). The guy I went out with yesterday messaged me there and we started talking, then exchanged phone numbers to arrange a meeting.
I don't want to get too in-depth because obviously there's another person involved and this is a public blog, but I had a really awesome time with him. I really like him, and he likes me, and we're going to arrange a second date. If you want more information then you'll have to talk to me privately! Needless to say, AWESOMENESS! I'm really happy!

Carbon!

I had a pretty boring week so I don't have a lot to talk about. Therefore, here is a picture of my family's new kitten, Carbon. She is little and crazy and adorable. She likes polar fleece and will sit on you for hours if you have a polar fleece blanket.

Good Weekend

I had a really good weekend! On Friday I went to Urbandale to hang out with my friends Mike and Tessa. We went to El Bait Shop to eat and meet with their friend Brandon. The food was really good. They had so many beer choices that it was hard to pick one! Then we saw Underworld: Awakening. I had an issue with laughing inappropriately whenever there was a scene with gratuitous violence, but I don't think I annoyed anyone around me, so it was all good. Then we went back to their house and drank wine and watched Hell Girl, which is pretty much our weird tradition now whenever I come over.
Then on Saturday our friend Jenn came down and we went to Prairieland Herbs! I love Prairieland Herbs so much. They make the best stuff. I spent way too much money but it was well worth it. Then we went to Jordan Creek and bought some clothes. I got a really pretty purple dress. It was a pain to find the right dress because most of them fit until they got to just below my shoulder blade, and then the zipper wouldn't zip. I was getting really frustrated but then I found the one I bought and it worked out. Jenn had to go home after that, so Tessa and I had dinner at TGIFriday's. Then I went back home.
It was a great weekend. I really enjoyed spending time with my friends. It was especially nice because the week was pretty rough, so being able to relax was awesome.

Lab Rotation #2

I started my second lab rotation this week. I'm working in Dr. Zhang's lab. He works on Campylobacter jejuni, an intestinal pathogen. It's the most common cause of food poisoning. The particular strain they are working on is causing sheep to have spontaneous abortions, so it's a concern in animal husbandry. My project is to generate knockout mutants in two genes, CJSA-1098 and CJSA-1084. They are both putative virulence genes and the lab is interested in how those genes are affecting the virulence of this particular strain. I'm looking forward to this because I've never made bacterial knockout mutants before. The lab itself is really nice and very roomy, even though it's in the basement of Vet Med. Everyone seems really nice, and the grad student I'm working with is really cool. It's nice to be working with another person really closely, because that way we can work with each other and I have to worry less about what's going on in lab all the time. It's less pressure. I just started this week, so I haven't done a lot yet. We have to construct the suicide vectors first in E. coli and then we transform the Campy. with them. So I've designed some primers and miniprepped some bacteria so far. The primers should be in tomorrow morning so I'll have more to do in the afternoon. I'm enjoying being back in the lab.

More family health issues

Man, it seems like the hits just keep coming. This month is already difficult because next week is the one year anniversary of my grandfather's death. Then on Sunday I get a call from my mum saying that my granny is in the ER. She had to be brought there by ambulance because she was so disoriented and in so much pain. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday but the doctors have no idea what's going on. They thought it was a kidney infection, then pancreatitis, now they've ordered an MRI on her back. It's very scary and very frustrating. It doesn't help that Granny is in the same hospital where Grandpa John died a year ago. Everyone's nerves are really frayed and I'm feeling very helpless all the way out here in Iowa. At least last year I was able to go to the hospital and be there for John and help out. Now all I can do is pray and wait.

Spring Semester

Time to talk about my spring classes! First up is BBMB 405. That's the second semester of biochemistry. I don't know about this one. The professor seems good and all, but I've heard the tests are insanely hard. So we'll see how that goes. I'm really just trying to pass with a C or better, so as long as I can do that I'll be okay. Then I have the rest of the Micro core classes. There's Fungal biology, Virology, and then Environmental Ecology. Fungal biology is first, which I call Mushroom Class because it's funny to me for some reason. So Mushroom Class will be really easy, because the tests are open book. And it should be interesting too since I don't know anything about fungi. Last is seminar, which is the same as last time and is pass/fail only so I barely even count it as a class.
I also talked to Dr. Zhang today about my rotation. I'm starting next week. His lab has a particularly pathogenic strain of Campylobacter jejuni and it has some unique genes that they think contribute to its pathogenicity. I'm going to be trying to knock out one of those genes, characterize it, and then complement the mutant strains and knock it back in. It might be difficult because C. jejuni  is kind of a pain to work with, but I'll get to learn a bunch of new techniques that I've never done before, and that will be pretty cool! I'm looking forward to it. I do have to get a temporary pass into the Vet Med building though, because they're on lockdown and being protected by the FBI. Apparently there's a pretty large threat from animal rights crazies right now, so they have to keep everything locked down so these crazy people don't come in and release all the lab animals, some of which have various diseases you really don't want getting out into the environment. It's awkward but at least I'll be able to come and go as I please once I have the pass, unlike my last lab rotation where the lab was locked down due to select agents.

A new blog!

It's a new year and I decided to start a new blog. I'm not abandoning this one; in fact I will continue to post pictures and general things about my life here. But I chose to make a new blog that will focus on my genealogical research. If you're interested, you can find it at cherokeealex.wordpress.com. It will be only about genealogy, so keep reading this one if you'd rather hear me complain about school and post pictures of my cats.

New Year's Resolutions

So I realized last year that whatever New Year's resolutions I made, I didn't write them down, and I forgot what they were! This year I'll post them here, mostly so I remember them.

Personal Goals

• Track my food points and activity points every day on Weight Watchers. 
• Exercise at least three times a week. 
• Reach my goal weight of 155 lbs by next December 31st. 
• Continue counseling and biofeedback to further control my anxiety. 
• Overcome my social anxiety and join fencing club at Iowa State. 

Professional Goals

• Get good grades this semester and next fall semester. 
• Choose my thesis lab.  

Other Stuff 

• Find a new apartment that's better for a graduate student. 
• Learn a bunch of new recipes. 
• Enjoy my life! 

New Year Party!

Yesterday I went out with my friends Mike and Tessa to the Des Moines Social Club Bash! So here's a bunch of pictures because it's been a long time since I've posted pictures.

 Me!

 That's a drag queen. Yep.

 The lounge and people.

 

The balloons that were dropped at midnight!

2011 In Review

So it's a little early...usually I do this on the first of the year, but I'm going to do it now instead.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I drove to Iowa by myself, drove without being able to see out the rearview mirror, put together a flatscreen television, and started genealogy research.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
How bad is it that I don't even remember my new year's resolutions? I have no idea. I should probably write those down or something.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Ummmm, I don't think so.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my grandfather John died in January. It was really hard. He died of lung cancer caused by smoking cigarettes. Do not smoke!

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada. I went to the Stratford Shakespeare festival.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A garage for my car. Seriously, it's one of the things that I really want in my next apartment. I feel so bad for my car sitting outside all of the time.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?
I moved to Ames on August 1st. John died on January 26th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into graduate school at Iowa State!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm not really sure I had a major fail this year. That's a pretty good thing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My anxiety disorder got out of control again; now I'm back on antidepressants.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I just bought a new flatscreen television to move into the 21st century. I only did it because my old TV's power button got stuck in completely so I could only turn it on with the remote. It's an awesome new TV so I'm glad I bought it.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My brother has done a really good job on his research this year, and he's presenting at a math conference.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one really made me appalled or depressed. There were some people that were a little annoying, and there were some people that made drama, but it was more amusing in a pathetic sort of way.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Hunziker Property Management and Liberty Mutual. Oh, and Hyvee.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting really good grades during the fall semester!! I got 5 As, one A-, and one B+!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Edge of Glory-Lady Gaga

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier or sadder: Happier! Much happier.
Thinner or fatter: A tiny bit thinner.
Richer or poorer: Poorer, although sometime this year I'll probably get richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Working out. Cooking. I got a new cookbook though, so hopefully I'll do more.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Having anxiety attacks. It's really hard to get anything done afterward.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family! I am so lucky!

21. What was your favorite month of 2011?
June, because we went Up North again and it was awesome. I wish we could go every year because it's so great up there.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Nope. I haven't met anybody yet.

23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't do one-night stands.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Mythbusters! I wish I could be on the show. It would be the coolest job ever. Also I like Ghost Hunters but that's my guilty pleasure.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
I barely read any books for fun this year. It's a bummer. I really liked Marvel House of M and Civil War. I know those technically are comics and not books but I don't care.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Uh, I really didn't have any this year. Adele, I guess.

28. What did you want and get?
A new television. A nice apartment.

29. What did you want and not get?
Quiet neighbors. They're alright, but not the best.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really liked X-Men First Class, but I also just saw Sherlock Holmes 2 and it was really good too!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24, and sadly I was by myself in Ames. But my parents gave me a huge box to open and it had lots of Legoes in it, so I built lots of Legoes.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Living close to my family. I miss having them close by.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Pretty much the same as last year-more fancy than t-shirts, jeans, boots.

34. What kept you sane?
Star Trek! Hanging out with Tessa and Mike!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Downey Jr.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh god, politics right now makes me want to hit things. I hate listening to that crap right now.

37. Who did you miss?
My parents, my grandparents, and my Michigan friends Jasmine and Eric.

38. Who were the best new people you met?
Bryon is pretty cool; he's one of my classmates.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
Family is really important to me and I want to be closer to them when I leave graduate school.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
One day I'm here, I'm on top of the world/And the next it's falling in on me/I can get back on, I can get back on-Far Cry, Rush

Christmas Blessings

I was feeling a little down earlier today, because I was thinking about how I have to drive back to Ames on the 27th and how homesick I would be. It really had me all out of sorts and I was getting post-holiday depression before the holiday was even over. But then I realized how blessed I really am. I get to be home with my family during Christmas. A lot of people can't be with their family, or they don't even have anyone to share Christmas with. So even though I have to leave and go back to Ames, at least I got to spend Christmas with the people I love best. It really made me reconsider how I was feeling, and even though I know that I'll be sad when I go home, I also know that I am really lucky to get to be home for Christmas, and that makes me very happy and very grateful.

Lions Vanquished

I'm home for Christmas right now, so I don't have a lot of time or desire to compose a gigantic blog post, but I decided to pop in because my grades came back. I got a B+ in Biochemistry, my nemesis, an A- in genetics, and As in everything else! My GPA is a 3.79, which is higher than it ever was in undergrad. I am so happy and so relieved. Finally I feel like I can really put the Georgetown debacle behind me, because I've proven that I can do well in biochemistry and I can be successful in a graduate program. What a relief!

Good news, everyone!

I'm officially done with my first semester of graduate school! I took my biochemistry final this morning. It was a pain in the butt because I had to take it at the Online Testing Center in Carver Hall. They seriously do not have enough room in there and I had to wait in line for at least twenty minutes before I got a spot. If Iowa State is really into the online stuff they need to expand that center to serve more people during finals time. Anyway, it went alright and I figured out that even without the curve I've passed all of my classes this semester. Grades are posted by the 21st so it shouldn't be too long before I know exactly how well I passed everything, but I know I passed.

Almost Done

Well after all the pain and agony of the fall, there's just one exam standing between me and the successful completion of my first semester of graduate school. Thus far I feel a lot more confident about my grades. I already know that I got an A in both Micro 551 and 553, and I passed 604 and Ethics. I'm sure I got at least a B in Micro 552, although I really don't know more because I don't know my second exam grade or if there will be a curve. That leaves biochemistry. I finished my extra credit homework today, and I have 16 extra points that will be added to my grade after the curve is determined. So if I can manage not to bomb the final, I could get anywhere from a B- to an A- depending on the curve. So yay! This is way better than Georgetown.
I also emailed the next professor I'm rotating with to make sure that we were still good for me to rotate in January, since the last time I had talked to him was...probably September. He responded really positively and after I get back from my holiday we'll meet and get a project set up. So I'm looking forward to that as well.
Next semester could be interesting. I have three more of the Micro core classes left: Fungal biology, Virology, and Ecology and Environmental Monitoring. The last one will be the most boring, but that's okay, I get why they think it's important. I also have to take the second semester of biochemistry. One of my classmates has heard from Vet students that it is incredibly hard, so I'm a little nervous. I'm hoping that they're blowing it out of proportion or that I might not find it as hard because I've done a lot of signal transduction work. I just hope that I'll have enough time to manage it all without feeling like I'm going crazy.
Speaking of being crazy, last week I started taking Celexa. It was a bit of a blow to my ego because I didn't want to go back on an SSRI, but I know that it'll help me so I'll do what I have to do. Next semester I'm starting a group therapy session as well focused on anxiety and depression so hopefully that will help. It's frustrating to have to deal with all this but it seems that my brain's signal transduction pathways are permanently altered, so I have to figure out how to deal with it so I can function normally.

I finished!

I just validated my word count and won my third NaNoWriMo! I have written three novels during NaNoWriMo so far. Yay!
So, since I just had the idea I have to write it down so I don't forget. Next year's NaNoWriMo-a sequel to this one, maybe called Uncharted Waters. Twenty years after the events of Days of Defiance, none of the protagonists have aged. Curious, they go to the Great Library and find out that somewhere far to the west, in a part of the planet that hasn't been explored in centuries, is someone with the answer they seek. In addition, they hear of a mythical treasure and decide to seek it out. This will be more of a straight-up pirate story with a little bit of fantasy thrown in. Yay!
Doing a sequel makes me want to keep editing and rewriting the first story too, so that I'm working with the characters all year between now and next year's NaNo.

Thanksgiving Recap

Okay, time for the Thanksgiving recap! Last Saturday I drove home after dropping Memo off at the vet. He's being boarded there whenever I go on vacation. So I dropped him off and he was mad at me because I made him go in the magic box (his kitty crate). Then I drove all the way home. The weather was pretty nice although it was really windy. On Sunday I helped my parents teach their Sunday school class. It's a middle school class and they talk about a lot of science and stuff, so I led them all through a cow eye dissection. It went really well and they were all really excited about it! A couple of the kids were really curious about what I do as a real scientist and I was glad that I could answer their questions and hopefully keep them excited about science. On Monday my mum and I went shopping which was fun because shopping alone is kind of boring. Then my brother came home on Tuesday. He was grumpy because he had to have a medical test done and it involved itchy electrodes. But on Tuesday night I went with my dad to fencing club again! I really miss the Schoolcraft club so it was awesome to see some of them again. Wednesday night we all went to Outback Steakhouse with my granny. We discussed some of my more bizarre genealogy results and she said she might ask her older sister what she remembered from growing up so that I can figure out what was true and what's not. On Thursday we went to Grandma and Grandpa's house (they're my dad's parents) for Thanksgiving dinner. My aunt and cousins were there too. It's always a lot of fun when we go over there, and we got my Grandma on facebook for the first time. Then today I drove home :( It's crazy, especially because I'm going back in three weeks, but I was really sad to leave. It just solidifies in my mind that when I graduate from Iowa I'll probably go back home to Michigan for my post-doc. I really do want to live closer to my family.

200th Post!

I just noticed that this is my 200th post on this blog. Pretty cool!
This week feels like it is going by so slowly. I really want it to hurry up and be Saturday so I can drive home to Detroit for Thanksgiving break! I am really excited to go home and see everyone. I have missed home a lot. I'm boarding my cat Memo at the vet during break. I hope he'll be okay. He can be really nervous so I hope it doesn't upset him. They have a giant fish tank to entertain the cats so I hope that he spends most of his time trying to figure out what a fish is. He's never seen one before so it will be weird and worthy of study. Add in that he's a little mentally slow and hopefully that adds up to him being happy while I'm gone.
NaNoWriMo is going pretty well. I just hit 30,000 words today. I'm still ahead of schedule which is good so that if I lose days on break I'll still be able to finish. As long as I have enough plot left, I should be able to make the 50,000 words easily. It's definitely a rough draft, but I think it might be the first draft that I edit or add to after November is over.
I did manage to get into BBMB 405. I checked again on AccessPlus and a bunch of seats had opened up so I took one. I'm glad so that I don't have to go through all the trouble of getting an add slip in the spring.
The other thing that happened is that I finally got in to see a counselor at SCS on Monday. I'd been on a wait list for almost two months. At first I wasn't sure I even needed to see someone because I'm not in crisis mode right now, but I went anyway and was really glad I did. I always need more help in managing my anxiety disorders. I do have an appointment in December at Student Health to talk about going on medication for a month or two. My counselor and I talked about it and we think it might be helpful so that I can concentrate on learning more coping skills without going into crisis. I have a feeling that I might start to struggle again with homesickness and depression in January, since it will be a while since I'll be able to go back home and my harder classes will be starting. So being on medication for a little while might be helpful. I'm a little reluctant but as long as I don't end up taking medication long-term I think it will be alright.

Whoa

I just got an email from my Dad. Apparently he heard from my great-aunt's estate attorneys today. They sold her house and after the final taxes, it looks like my brother, cousins, and I will get another thirty thousand dollars each. My great aunt...she was crazy generous.

Mid-November already

Time is going by really quickly! It's almost the middle of November. Next weekend, I'll be driving home to spend Thanksgiving with my family! I have two tests that I have to take between now and then-Biochemistry and Bacterial Genetics. I'm a little worried about both of them. I always worry about Biochemistry because I do struggle through the class and I want to get a decent grade. As for Bacterial Genetics, we only have two exams and that's what our entire grade is based on, and I've never had a class taught by this professor before, so I don't really know what to expect. Hopefully everything goes just fine. I did find out that I got a 91% on my Micro 553 exam, which is awesome! And I was way above the class average so that was kind of cool. It's been a while since I've been close to setting the curve in a class so I felt very accomplished.
NaNoWriMo is going pretty well so far. I'm only about a day's worth ahead, and I need to get more since I don't know how much time I'll be able to spend writing during Thanksgiving Break. I think I can do it and since I don't have class until 4pm tomorrow, I'm going to try and write three to five thousand words.
The only bummer is that I registered for classes and BBMB 405 was listed as full! I've never not been able to get into a class. It's a big class and should be easy to get added to in the spring, but it's kind of lame.

Things to be thankful for

November has started. This is the month we're supposed to be thankful and remember. I have so much to be thankful for.
I'll start with the most immediate: as of today my first rotation is done! I gave my report at lab meeting this afternoon. It went really well. I am glad that I was able to do some work with plants since I had never done any before, and there's a slim possibility that I might get a publication out of this. But I'm glad it's done because I'm pretty sure that I don't want to do my thesis there. Giving my report was the last thing I had to do, and now it's not hanging over my head.
Second, National Novel Writing Month started yesterday! I love NaNoWriMo. I am so excited to write my novel this year. It's a lot of fun and a great break from doing science.
Third, in three weeks I am going home for Thanksgiving Break!!! I have been waiting for this since September. I miss my family so much. My parents and I are so close and being far away has been a lot harder than I expected. And I miss my grandparents, who are also back in Michigan. Having all my family nearby as I was growing up was so awesome, and it's just now that I'm realizing how hard it is to go it alone. I am really thankful for having such a wonderful stable family that supports me in everything I do, even when it's hard.
But I have been feeling better about being here in Iowa, and that's in large part because of Tessa and Mike, who are my closest friends here. They are really awesome and it means so much to me that they've been inviting me to things and spending time with me. It makes me feel a lot less lonely and I have a lot of fun with them. Thanks guys!!

2011 Halloween Pumpkin

Last Week of October

It's the last week of October! I have a lot of work this week. It's the last week of Micro 553, so there's the final project and the final exam this week. The project isn't too bad. It was just writing the specific aims to a grant proposal that was given to us, and then we get into groups and pool them and pick the best ones. The exam is on Friday, and hopefully it will be alright. There's a lot of material to cover and I'm not sure how in-depth the questions will be.
It's also the last week of my rotation. I have one experiment to finish, and then next Wednesday I give a talk in lab meeting to present my data. I'm nervous about the talk because I hate public speaking, but at the same time I am really looking forward to it being done.
What I am looking forward to is National Novel Writing Month, which starts November 1st! This year I am writing a fantasy novel. The story has pretty much been in my head in one form or another since I was 12, so finally getting it out on paper properly will be exciting. It might be hard to balance school and NaNoWriMo, but I think I'll be able to do it. After doing science all day, which is driven so much by data, it's nice to come home and write a story where I can make everything up and don't have to justify my choices to anyone.
The other awesome thing about November is that I'll be going home for Thanksgiving Break and I can see my family again! I am generally feeling better about being here and living by myself, but I still really miss my parents and grandparents. So I am looking forward to seeing them.

Good Weekend

I had a really awesome weekend, which is great since school is so blah. My friend Allison came down to Ames from Minnesota, and Tessa and Mike came up from Urbandale, and we all went to the Iowa State Homecoming game! I had never been to a college football game, so that was pretty cool. The stadium is actually pretty nice, and everyone was well-behaved at the game (where we were sitting, anyway) so it was fun. I don't understand football, and ISU lost, but it was still a lot of fun to hang out. After the game we went to this restaurant called Vesuvius. I had never been there before. It's a wood-fired oven pizza place. I had the Margherita pizza and it was delicious. I seriously think it was the best pizza I've ever had. After that we went to London Underground, which is a bar but it feels more like a pub and it wasn't a loud annoying bar. We all hung out for a while and I had a White Russian, which was really good. It was so great to hang out with Allison again, I hadn't seen in her in like three years. And I always like hanging out with Tessa, and Jen and Stanley are pretty cool people too. It was a great day and I was so glad that I went, because I like hanging out with adult friends.

Almost Over

October is almost over. Yay! And my first lab rotation is almost over. Double yay! I just inoculated my rice plants today, so that is the start of the last experiment. I don't care what anyone says, that is it. I am done after this experiment. I have a lot of schoolwork and it's not getting easier, so having the rest of the semester off from lab work will be awesome. I'm also pretty sure I don't want to do my thesis in this lab, so not having to work there anymore will be good.
My sinuses have been all messed up this week. I actually stayed home all day Tuesday because I was so dizzy that I didn't think I could drive. I'm feeling a little better but it still feels like someone punched me in both eyes. That's definitely not fun.

Mid-October

Wow, it's the middle of October already. It seems like this month is going by pretty quickly. I guess that's a good thing because I want to get to November so I can visit home. Time passing this fast is kind of weird though.
I guess things are going okay. The next three weeks will be really stressful though. I have a quiz, two exams, and a final project in the next two weeks. Then the experiment I was supposed to do at lab got changed today, so I have to revamp my plans about how the end of my rotation will go. I think it will be okay but I hate it when things get changed abruptly. Of course, then I have to give an end of rotation presentation at lab meeting. I hope it will go alright. I know I'm a good public speaker, but I feel like I just don't really know what I'm doing or what I'm talking about. So I worry that I'll sound like a complete idiot when I talk.
On a better note, I started biofeedback today. It's really cool. At the Student Counseling Center, you check in and get a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. Then you go to the room, which is nice and dark. You get to sit in a little cubicle in a recliner that massages if you want, and you plug the headphones in so it's all quiet. Then you put the sensors on your fingers-two measure your skin conductance and one measures your heart rate. Then you use the computer programs, which guide you through a bunch of different exercises and help your practice the techniques. It's pretty cool; today I did some breathing and mindfulness exercises. It was really neat and there's a graph you can watch whenever you want which shows how your heart rate and skin conductance change based on what you do. I felt so relaxed after I was done. It was awesome and I wish I had that kind of set-up in my apartment.
Speaking of apartments, I'm sick of living with so many people crammed around me, and I'm definitely sick of living with undergraduates surrounding me. So I'm going to try and find a house to rent for next year, so when my lease is up in July I can move somewhere else. I want a house ideally, because then I would share zero walls with other people and I could have a yard and things like that. But if I find a duplex or townhouse where no undergrads are allowed, I would look into that too. I really just want quiet and more stable neighbors.

I stole it from Tessa

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
No. I was expecting one once, but instead I got dumped. It hurt a lot at the time, but it was definitely for the best that the relationship ended.

2. LONGEST FRIENDSHIP?
21 years-Jasmine and I have been friends since preschool.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
My mum just sent me the MST3K Gamera boxed set. I got it today in the mail!

4. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DROPPED YOUR CELL?
A few times, but always onto the carpet from about two feet off the floor, so no damage.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
I went for a walk yesterday.

6. THING YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Rent? I'm actually starting to save my money so I can rent a house next year, and so I can do things like buy a washer and dryer if I need to.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
A Healthy Choice panini.

8. LAST DRINK YOU DRANK?
Diet Vanilla Coke, which for some reason you can't get in Michigan but you can get in Iowa.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
One Little Victory by RUSH

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Ames. I really miss Detroit. I like Ames, but I miss Detroit. I think I'll feel better the longer I'm here, and probably once I'm living in that house I want.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
I was at Roeper for the first two years and Walled Lake Western for the last two. High school sucked.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
AT&T. It's alright, although I don't get very good service inside my apartment, so I have to talk to my mum while standing on the patio. I don't know what I'll do in the winter!

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Um. I don't know. I shop like a man.

14. LONGEST JOB EVER HAD:
My job at Karmanos. I worked there just shy of two years.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Nope

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?
No, that is rude.

17. LAST WEDDING ATTENDED?
Jasmine and Eric's. I've been out of state for a lot of weddings.


18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
My parents. Never mind friends. I probably wouldn't want that to get out, anyway.

19. LAST TIME YOU ATTENDED CHURCH?
Last Sunday. I go every week.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD?
That Obama wasn't born in the US? That's a good one.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Claddagh back home. It was the after-fencing hangout.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Yes, although it's kind of boring cooking just for myself. But I do it because I want to stay healthy.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
A 2006 Ford Focus named Alfred. He is an awesome little car.

26. BEST KISSER?
Um. No comment.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Wednesday morning in my counseling session. The lady asked me about my relationship with my family and I started crying because I miss them so much.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD?
Broccoli. I literally cannot find any way to eat it except in cheesy soup.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
I am tenacious. Even when I feel like I can't do it or I'm too weak, I hang on and keep fighting through.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
My anxiety disorder. The thing I hate about it is that it's chronic. It will never go away. I will always have to fight with my brain about how to react to things.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
I had one day at Karmanos that was 14 hours. That was hellish.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
 I like old science fiction/horror/thriller B movies. I especially like Vincent Price.

34. CAN YOU SING?
Yes. I was in choir in middle school.

35. LAST CONCERT?
RUSH with my parents. It was awesome.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED?
Oh geez...it's been a while. I think it was From Hell.

38. THING YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?
My driver's license?

39. FAVOURITE VACATION SPOT?
Michigan's Upper Peninsula.

40. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
Yes.

42. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?
Yes. My whole apartment is actually pretty clean.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?
I have both. I use the desktop more.

44. FAVOURITE COMEDIAN?
Stephen Colbert.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Absolutely not. My grandfather died this year of smoking-related lung cancer. Fuck no. Smoking is a dealbreaker.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?
My stuffed manatee. And Eeyore. And a panda.

48. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
They can, if all the people involved are invested in it.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Never, surprisingly.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French toast

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?
Yes. Have a cup every morning.

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't like solid egg yolks, so I only eat eggs if they're scrambled or omletted.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?
No, although it's kind of interesting.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mom.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?
An unknown caller...mysterious.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED?
It was from Tessa! Telling me that she could see my car because my GPS missed her house and I was driving around in circles.

57. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING?
McDonalds has more healthy options, and I like their fries better.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?
Two.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
Blue jeans, a blue and green shirt.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG?
I have the Doxology stuck in my head for some reason?

Time goes by

It's October already. That happened both really fast and really slowly. I don't know, it seems like it went by kind of fast, but then it seems like I've been in Ames forever, and how is it only October? Time is being weird. I'm told this only gets weirder once you have children. Since I'm not doing that soon, I guess I will have to wait and see if that's the truth.
I'm actually feeling a lot better today than I have in a while. I'm still waking up anxious, but it goes away sooner and I don't feel quite so nauseous, so I can at least drink some milk and coffee in the morning. It's still annoying but at least it isn't horrible. My first counseling appointment is tomorrow morning so hopefully that will go well and I'll start getting some more help with this stuff.
School is going fine. Biochemistry is boring and I really could not possibly care less about it, but I have to at least make an effort so that I can get a decent grade. The professor isn't bad, it's just that I do not care about bond angles and hydrogen bonds and crap like that. It's too small scale for me. Pathogenic Microorganisms just started last week and that class is really interesting. I like pathogens though so I could have called that. After that one is done then I have Bacterial Genetics in November. I'm a little nervous about that one because genetics is not necessarily easy to learn and remember for tests. Also if the professor is who I think it is I'm not sure his teaching style or grading style will be very nice. We'll see.
Lab is actually going a little better. I have been pretty meh about it, especially since I had a small issue with the lab manager, but today she was really helpful and pleasant, so maybe things are okay. My PI and I talked and he wants to add two more experiments for me to do, which is a lot of work, but it might end up going in a paper that I could get authorship credit on, so it's worth it. I just hope that the data is good and useful, because nothing is sadder than doing a lot of work and getting crappy data out of it.
So yeah, that's what's happening at the moment. I am looking forward to November because I can finally go back home for a week, but hopefully October won't be as crappy as September was.

I guess I should update

School is going okay. I've gotten good grades so far. Lab is alright, although I'm not sure I'm that interested in what they're doing and I've butted heads a little with the lab manager. I only have five more weeks there so I'm just trying to stick it out and do the best I can until it's over. Really though, I'm struggling. For the past week I have woken up with the worst anxiety. As soon as I wake up, it hits me before I can even have time to consciously worry about something. It's so bad that I'm having trouble eating in the morning and it's really throwing me off. It goes away in an hour or two but sometimes it takes longer before I can eat. It sucks so much. I have an appointment to see a counselor but it's not until next week so I'm trying to just hang on until then. I bought some applesauce today because I thought that it might be easier to eat than solid food in the morning. Ginger ale helps a little bit too. Anyway, I hope it gets better soon because it's really putting a cramp in my life, otherwise I would be feeling a lot better.

Okay, I feel better now

I just booked Memo's boarding so that I can come home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas! Yay!! At first I thought I was only going to be home for Christmas. But the way it turns out, I'll be done with my rotation at Dr. Bogdanove's at the beginning of November, and my rotation with Dr. Zhang doesn't start until January. So I will be free to go home! I am so so excited and I'm really looking forward to seeing my family. Hopefully I'll be able to meet my nephew if he's home by then too. Anyway, yay going home!

First year homesickness, part 1

Today I was really hit hard by a wave of homesickness that I can't really explain. I think it may have been triggered by the fact that this week I officially take possession of the title to my car and register it in Iowa, getting Iowa plates and all. I've never had to do any of that before, I've always driven on my dad's insurance and he owns the car, so it's weird and new and freaks me out. But yeah, I felt so homesick that I cried a lot for no reason and eventually called home for the second time in one day so I could talk to somebody.
I guess part of it is that I do live alone, and I like that, but I feel isolated from my friends because they all live in Des Moines and I'm in Ames. And I don't want to butt in on their lives every weekend just so I don't feel lonely. Plus I'm single, and it's really hard to be single and away from my family, because I'm not physically near anyone that I'm super super close to. I don't really know how to do that yet and it's kind of hard. I really want to date and have a relationship, but I don't want to just date the first person that shows any interest because I'm desperate. But I am kind of lonely. I really don't know what to do about that.
Hopefully I'll feel better because tomorrow it's back to school and lab and I'll be busy. This Saturday I've planned to go see the BodyWorlds exhibit at the Des Moines Science Center, since I've never been and I have really wanted to see it for a while. I'm hoping that just getting out of the house for a while will help me feel better.

First Rotation!

I got my first lab rotation set up today! Sweet relief. I was getting kind of nervous there because technically all of us are supposed to start our rotations by next Tuesday. So yeah, it got cut pretty close, but I am officially rotating in Dr. Bogdanove's lab. I have meetings scheduled with two other professors, so hopefully I'll have all three rotations set soon.
Anyway, Dr. Bogdanove works on plant pathology, specifically pathogens of rice. The bacteria make these proteins called TAL effectors. When the bacteria infect a plant, they secrete the TAL effectors which go into the plant nucleus, bind specific DNA promoters, and activate transcription of those genes. Usually the genes that are transcribed help the bacteria infect the plant cells better in some way, but some plants have evolved some resistance mechanisms. The interesting part is the TAL effectors, because they're specific and they can be engineered to recognize pretty much any DNA sequence. There are several projects going on, but I picked to work on the one that requires the most plant pathology, and therefore I know the least about. I figured that I might as well learn a bunch of stuff right away rather than stay in my comfort zone with basic molecular biology. So I'm going to be taking TAL effectors from one type of this bacteria, putting them into another type of the bacteria, and then infecting the plants to see if the different TAL effectors change how the bacteria infect the plant. I'll be able to explain it better once I'm doing it, I'm sure. But I'm really looking forward to starting!

23AndMe Results!

So about a month ago I decided to do genetic testing on myself, mostly for curiosity's sake. I went with 23andme because I've had several friends use it and like it. Just last night my results came in, so instead of going to bed like a normal person I stayed up for two hours looking at everything. Obviously I can't talk about my increased risks or anything like that because even though there's a genetic non-discrimination act in place, I wouldn't count on anyone following through on it. So here's the other stuff.
mtDNA haplogroup: I'll start with this one because it really threw me for a loop. I'm Native American on my mother's side. My great-great-grandmother spoke Cherokee. This is how I was raised, this is what I am. That's important. My haplogroup is H2a1, which originated about 26,000 years ago in the Middle East, around Turkey. It slowly spread through Eastern, Northern, and parts of Western Europe. It is not one of the haplogroups that indicates Native American ancestry. My first reaction was something like WHAT. Then I poked around on the 23andme forums and found out some interesting things. First of all, the haplogroups to determine NA ancestry and the modern Asian haplogroups because they're aren't many NA people who've done genotyping to compare to. Secondly, many people, some of whom have more documentation than I do, who are related to NA tribes on the Eastern seaboard do not have a typical NA haplogroup. Weird, huh? Currently there are a couple of hypotheses floating around to explain that. There's the Solutrean Hypothesis, which no one can really prove or disprove at this time, which posits that people came from southwestern Europe to the Americas about 20,000 years ago, before the Bering Land Bridge, and they're the ancestors of lots of eastern tribes. The second is that this maternal haplogroup came from Vikings who settled in the Americas before Columbus. The third, which is possible for my family in particular, is that we picked up this haplogroup from one of the Roanoke colonists who intermarried with local Native Americans. So that was weird, and I've just joined Ancestry.com to see if I can follow a paper trail and get more information about my family that way.
Decreased Risks: I'm at decreased risk for breast cancer, Alzheimer's disease, lupus, MS, melanoma, ovarian cancer, and osteoarthritis. All of which makes me very happy.
Traits: So I obviously don't have the alcohol flush response, which it accurately predicted. It also accurately knew that I was a bitter supertaster. It also accurately predicted my eye colour (blue), my hair curl (it's wavy), and that I'm more of a sprinter than an endurance runner. One of the things I thought was fun is that I'm apparently less susceptible to contracting leprosy if I'm exposed to it. I can armadillos with impunity! It also accurately showed that I have extremely good episodic memory.
Drug Response: So apparently I would have a really good response to interferon beta if I ever took it. I guess that's good. But I'm extremely susceptible to liver toxicity from floxacillin. Luckily that drug isn't used in the US, but if I go back to Europe it's good to know. It also says that I'm a slow caffeine metabolizer, so the reason I need so much coffee to feel an effect must be because I drink too much or something like that.
Yeah, so that's my DNA!

Here's a picture of my cat playing in my kitchen with a golf ball

First year anxiety, part two

This week was the first week of class. I think it went alright. Two of my classes are pass/fail. Of course one of them is journal club and I have to present in it, but I signed up for December 1st so I can put off freaking out about it for awhile. The other pass/fail class is Ethics. I think it will be pretty easy. Then I have Micro 551, which is Microbial Diversity. It's only five weeks long, then it's replaced by Pathogenic Microorganisms and then Bacterial Genetics. I think it won't be too bad. I don't know how in depth it will be and there's only one exam, but it's a short class and I think it will be okay. Then there's Biochemistry. It's a huge class full of undergrads, of course, but the professor says he wants everyone to know big concepts rather than minutiae. Whether that will play out in his exams and homework remains to be seen. The annoying thing about the class is that all of the tests are online and we have to take them at the Online Learning Center in Carver Hall. This is stupid. If I wanted to take my tests online, I'd take the whole freaking class online! I am not amused by this at all. Oh well. I'll live with it.
The major source of my anxiety thus far is that I still don't have any rotations set up. Two people have said no, and I'm waiting to hear from two people right now. If I don't hear from anyone by tomorrow afternoon, then I'll email two more people. I really only have about ten days to get the first one set up, so I'm really nervous.
In the land of non-grad school but still annoying things, my cat is still stressed about the move and I think might be picking up on my anxiety a little because he took a pee on my papasan chair this evening. So tomorrow after class I have to drive to Ankeny to go to Petsmart and get some enzyme cleaner to get the smell out. I can't blame him too much because he's a nervous cat, and he takes some calming treats called Composure every day, but it is one more thing I didn't need to deal with. I actually need to find a vet to take him to soon, since he's due for his rabies shot, so maybe I can talk to them and see if they can offer anything else to help him out. He's got the Feliway diffuser and the Composure, maybe he needs a short course of antidepressants again. I don't know. Anyway, more crap I have to do.
I've also been eating like crap the past couple of days. It sucks because I'm obviously still trying to lose weight, but I just felt so out of control. I'm trying to go back to the Weight Watchers basics and be really good about tracking my points and exercising so hopefully I will start feeling better and less crazy. And hopefully I didn't do too much damage to my weight. I did buy a swimsuit this week though, which I haven't done in four years, and it's a really cute one that doesn't look horrible on me, so I guess that's good.