First year anxiety, part one of many

This morning we had a meeting with the dean of the IM program. Dr. Halverson is a really nice guy and he's very helpful and not intimidating and so that was great. I finally met the other guy who is in my year who also is an ISU alum. Weirdly enough, he got degrees in English and Biology, so we have a sort of similar history. Anyway, we had individual meetings with Dr. Halverson after the big one. That went well, we both agreed that it was wise for me to take BBMB 404 again. I took it in undergrad, but I took it online and only got a C+. I don't feel confident in my ability to do biochemistry and I don't think I could pass 405 if I went straight into it, so I'd rather repeat 404 in an actual classroom with an actual teacher and do better. We also talked a bit about rotations and who I should look into, and this evening I sent out my first inquiry.
I have to say that asking for a rotation is my least favorite thing to do. I think I would rather speak in public than asking for a rotation. It feels like cold-calling, and it actually kind of is. All of these factors out of my control go into it-whether the person has funding, whether they have space in the lab, how they feel about having students work for them, etc etc. Then it comes down to a meeting and whether I sell myself well. I absolutely hate it and it's such an anxiety-ridden process for me. Now I know the professor I emailed today is well-funded, and I have a special fellowship, so hopefully money doesn't keep me out. I did talk to him when I interviewed, and he seemed nice and I know he has students in the lab, so it probably comes down to space. I really hope there's space. Once the first rotation is set up, then I have time to get the next two nailed down. I'm waiting now for a response. It's out of my control, but I hate hate hate having to wait on something like this.

Ugh.

Tonight is the first night I've felt any kind of homesickness. I don't really know what sparked it, if it's just time to be homesick, or if it's the weather, or if it's that I made chocolate chip cookies from the family recipe today, but I'm feeling kind of down. I'm sure I'll be back to normal soon, but for now I am all weirded out.
Next week there's some kind of mandatory meeting on Tuesday morning, and then I have an individual meeting with Dr. Halverson afterward. I think this is when they tell us the procedure for getting our rotations set up. I'm not positive how that works yet. I'm a bit nervous about that because I don't know if the people I want to rotate with are taking students, and if they aren't then I have to try and find other people. I think rotations are more stressful than classes.
Speaking of classes, my schedule is actually pretty awesome. At Georgetown we were taking a full load, like an undergraduate. I still have 12 credits this semester, but the way they're configured is pretty cool. I have Biochemistry all semester, as well as Bioethics, and once a week there's a microbiology seminar I have to go to. The other three classes are Microbial Phylogeny, Pathogenic Microorganisms, and Bacterial Physiology. But they're each only about a month long. So instead of taking all three at the same time, they're one at a time. It's way better and it leaves enough time in my schedule to actually get something done at a lab rotation. So that definitely made me happy. Also, I already have the Biochemistry textbook, and so far there's only one other book I need to buy, so I won't have to spend a lot of money this semester on textbooks. Yay.
Anyway, next Thursday I have to go to four hours of safety training. BLEAH. I have done lab safety so many times that I should get a waiver or something. It will be boring and useless. Ick.
I promise I am having fun though. Tomorrow I'm going to a grill-out that my friend Mike put together. Mostly the people that are coming are people I know, although there are a couple I haven't met yet. That's why I was making cookies, I thought it would be nice to bring something for dessert. And next Wednesday I'm going to see Rifftrax Live: Jack the Giant Killer. Rifftrax is done by the people who did Mystery Science Theater 3000, so it's really funny.

19. Favorite minor that decided to shove him­self into the spot­light and why!

Nothing is really going on that's worth writing about in Iowa right now, since class hasn't started, so until something exciting happens all you get to read is writing meme.

My favorite minor character that eventually ended up being heavily involved is Evgeni's father Nicolas in Last Days of the Unreal City. Originally he was not even alive, and then he was missing. I never planned for Jaelle and Evgeni to go meet him, much less for him to have a huge impact on the plot by directing them to a group of rebel fighters. So that was kind of a surprise. It ended up being pretty awesome though, and I had fun writing this grumpy old Russian engineer.

18. Favorite antag­o­nist and why!

This is actually a hard question, because I genuinely dislike every antagonist I write. So far they've all been straight up bad guys too, no tragic antiheroes or morally complex villains. I think that's because if I wrote one of the latter characters, they would end up being the protagonist. So I really don't have a favorite antagonist.

Moving In Is Hard Work

So I thought that the hard part was done Monday, when we moved everything out of the truck and into the apartment in 100+ degree heat. I think that was the hardest part, but the rest of the week hasn't been much easier. It took me two days to render my bedroom and kitchen usable, and then today I tackled my books. I have probably close to a thousand books, and that made about 30 boxes worth sitting in my front room. I had managed to get two bookcases up in my office, so I filled those first, then maneuvered around and got the other two bookcases up in the living room and filled them. Then I patted myself on the back because I thought I had managed to fit every book I owned into these four bookcases.
Then I noticed the two boxes sitting off to one side labeled 'books.' Ugh. So I drove to Target and bought another bookcase. It was cheap but all my bookcases are cheap. I don't make enough money to get fancy shit yet. I got home at 4pm and dragged the box into my bedroom to put this bookcase together.
At 6:30 I was finally done. What a nightmare. I knew this thing was cheap, but geez. It had the requisite instructions not in English, but every single hole where a screw was supposed to go was too short and too narrow. So I had to re-drill every single hole. Then to top it all off, I finally got this thing together and up and realized that I had put one of the top sides on wrong, meaning there were no holes for the pegs that hold the shelves to go. I was not about to take the entire bloody bookcase apart to fix it, so I just drilled through the side and put the two holes I wanted in. It looks a little weird but I don't care because it works and it was a twenty dollar bookcase to begin with.
It's done and all my books are now really unpacked, but what a pain in the ass! I do not want to do that again anytime soon!

17. Favorite pro­tag­o­nist and why!

You know, I really liked Jaelle from Last Days of the Unreal City. It was fun to write a scientist for once. It was also fun to write her as a bit of a rebel in a strict patriarchal society. I really should go back and do a second draft of Last Days. There's so much in all the characters that didn't get put in the first go round, and I think there's a lot to expand on, especially in Jaelle's case.
I think that Liera in the upcoming novel may become my favorite. Of course, this character and this story have been bouncing around in my head for more than a decade now, so Liera is practically part of me at this point. I'm really looking forward to writing this one.

16. Do you write roman­tic rela­tion­ships? How do you do with those, and how “far” are you will­ing to go in your writ­ing? ;)

Oh God, I've tried but I kind of suck. I feel like when I write them that everything rushes along way too quickly and it only makes sense to me and not anyone else who reads it. But I keep trying, because how else will I get better? I don't write anything explicit though, I just can't manage to do that with any amount of realism. I have enough trouble trying to progress the characters from strangers, to friends, to lovers without it sounding stupid.

I'm Here!

Woo, this is my first official post from Iowa. I finally have a couple of minutes to type. I've been busy! On Sunday I left Michigan for good and drove all the way to Ames. Yesterday we spent the whole day unloading the trailer. It was awful, because with the heat index it was about 110 degrees out. I have never been so sweaty in my life. It sucked. But we got it all done and had dinner at Hickory Park and the ice cream made all the hard work acceptable. Today was putting a bunch of furniture together, and then realizing I needed more furniture, and then buying it and grocery shopping, and that's where I'm at. Oh, we also ate lunch at the Machine Shed in Des Moines, because I went there once with a friend and enjoyed it, so I took my parents there. Now we're going to shim some of my bookcases and my pantry, go visit my great-aunt Barbara's grave, eat dinner, and try to put together my recumbent bicycle. It should be interesting. But now I'm here!

Programming Note the Deuce

I'm moving to Ames this weekend! And, I need to pack my whole life right now. Which means that as of today, my desktop computer will be packed up. I still have my netbook, but my internet time will be restricted for the next week or so. Hopefully I will have internet soon when I move. My apartment has internet as an included utility. It's awesome not to pay extra for it, but I have no idea how setting it up works. I may just be able to plug in my cable modem and get on the internet, or it might be more complicated. I have no clue.

15. Mid­way ques­tion! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether pro­fes­sional or not!

I really like Neil Gaiman. Sandman was such a huge deal for me. The way he wrote it, and the way the comic was put together (and I have to give the inkers/colorists/etc props for that as well) made it so real to me. It was like I was reading something that I had always known about, but I only knew it unconsciously and it was brought into the light. Everything else he has written has drawn me in the same way, in that I literally cannot put the book down until I am done.
I also admire Robert Jordan's ability to create such a gigantic world in Wheel of Time, especially in a post-LOTR fantasy world. I actually think the WoT world is more complex than LOTR's world, and I can barely keep it straight when I'm reading, so being able to keep all of these threads in order when creating it is even more impressive to me. I also have to say that Mr. Jordan impressed me with how well he was able to write all of his female characters, when I struggle with writing my male characters.

It's Getting Real

I'm moving in eight days. Crazy! I thought I would be way more prepared for it but I'm not. I haven't even finished packing. I still have a whole bookcase left! I'm getting nervous. The U-Pack box is being dropped off on Monday and it leaves on Thursday. Then I leave on Sunday and move in August 1st. I am crazy nervous right now and have all the horror scenarios running through my head. I even had nervous dreams last night that left me feeling really weirded out. I'm sure it will all go just fine but I can't help but be anxious. Part of having a panic disorder, I guess.
I am way more prepared than when I moved back to Michigan from DC. I barely had anything packed when the truck came then, so I guess I'm in better shape. Still nervous though. It also doesn't help that it's been insanely hot here for the past week. That makes it harder to do things like haul stuff up and down stairs and it severely interferes with my motivation to do anything. Yeah.
I think I have gotten most of my paperwork figured out, as in when I can do it. Switching driver's licenses and stuff is such a pain, but I have to wait at least a month before I can do that anyway. I do have to remember to turn the electricity on in my apartment before I leave. It will be kind of awkward to forget.

14. How do you map out loca­tions, if needed? Do you have any to show us?

I've only had to do this once, and I actually drew a little map out so I could make sure I didn't accidentally put two places in the same spot or something equally silly. It's hand drawn though, so I don't have it to put up. Maybe I can make a MSPaint version when I write the novel this November? That would be kind of cute.

13. What’s your favorite cul­ture to write, fic­tional or not?

This probably gives me away as a crappy writer, but I haven't ever written any particularly in-depth cultural differences. It would probably make a couple of my stories better, but they haven't moved beyond first or second drafts so I haven't done any cultural explication. Honestly I'm more interested in getting characters and plots first and adding world details later. Plus what I've written so far hasn't been set in ultra-diverse areas to being with. Last Days was either a post-apocalyptic wasteland or a strict neo-Victorian floating city. Terminal Dreams was set in the modern day United States. My NaNo novel this year is set in an entirely fictional world. So I haven't even really written something that had a lot of cultural diversity to initially put in. Not to mention that I'm still at the point where I feel more comfortable writing what I know, so I'm not about to go writing about a culture that I'm not part of and haven't studied extensively.

12. In what story did you feel you did the best job of world­build­ing? Any side-notes on it you’d like to share?

Well, this novel that I'll be writing in the fall is the first one that's really set in a completely fictional world. Terminal Dreams was set in the present day, and Last Days of the Unreal City was also set on Earth, albeit in a post-apocalyptic future. I guess I feel like Last Days needs more revision before I'd feel completely happy with it. There's a lot in my head that I don't think translated well in my first draft. But this new novel is set somewhere completely different, where I had to draw a map and make everything up from scratch, and that's kind of fun and cool. I still don't know how well it will end up translating, but it is neat to build a universe from the beginning.

11. Who is your favorite char­ac­ter to write? Least favorite?

I'm not sure I have a favorite character to write. It's harder for me to write realistic antagonists, so I guess that might be my least favorite to write just because it's difficult. Sometimes I get frustrated when I have a picture or a scene in my head and it's not translating well into words, but that's less a character issue and more a situational issue.

10. What are some really weird sit­u­a­tions your char­ac­ters have been in? Every­thing from seri­ous canon scenes to meme ques­tions counts!

I think I had a scene at one point where the main characters were kidnapped by dwarves and bartered their way out of the situation with a spontaneously appearing duck. I have no idea, I think that came from a goofy NaNo prompt. That's the weirdest thing that's happened. If I write comedic scenes in, they're usually dry comedy and not slapstick. Everything else is pretty serious business.

9. How do you get ideas for your char­ac­ters? Describe the process of cre­at­ing them.

Geez, there really isn't a process. All of my stories just kind of appeared in my head, and the characters just appeared too. I've never really sat down and thought about all the characters I would need beforehand. If I get to a place where I need a secondary character, they just kind of appear. It's very organic, I guess. I have a harder time naming them than anything else, but the personality just appears on paper.

I went fishing

I went fishing for northern pike Up North, and I caught no fish. I did, however, catch this:

Yep, that's a bald eagle sitting on the top of that tree. I've seen bald eagles in the wild before, but never has one stayed put long enough for me to take a picture. This dude hung out for almost an hour, and he was talking to another eagle that was somewhere in the woods. It was epic.

Presque Isle

Presque Isle is a little island just off of Marquette in Lake Superior. Every time I go Up North, I go to Presque Isle because there are some totally sweet rock formations you can go walk on and it's a lot of fun. It's extra cool for me because I've been able to spend the past 20 years watching the beginnings of biological succession occur and I'm a dork so I think it's awesome. This is also one of the best places to look at Lake Superior. It's hard to explain what the lake is to me. It's an integral part of my life and holds a special place in my heart. It's really hard to explain how it feels to be out on these rocks and there's no one but you and the lake, but it's awesome.

 The day I went up there it was cloudy and only 59 degrees. It was so nice. I really don't like super hot weather so it was perfect for walking around. It was also really windy so the lake was all crazy.

 I saw these little purple flowers growing in the rocks. I've never seen them before and they're cute. Succession in action! Someday the rocks will all be dirt and there will be trees growing here.

 Lake Superior gets really deep really fast. There's no sand here at all and the bottom of the lake is solid rock. It literally drops off from standing on these rocks to about 20 feet deep right away.

 There was enough wind that the lake had some pretty powerful waves coming in to shore. It took me about ten tries to get this picture right as the wave is crashing over itself.

 There's a lot of copper and iron in the cliffs, which is why mining was such a big industry in the Upper Peninsula. The orange colour is the iron.

 Another picture showing how unsettled the lake was. I like this one because I inadvertently caught the spray from a wave in it.

I'm standing on top of the cliff here and looking down at the water. I'm probably thirty or forty feet up in the air. After you hit the water it's about sixty feet deep there. Absolutely crazy. I don't recommend jumping off; there's a powerful undertow right there in the water. There's always a couple of stupid people who jump off for fun and die every year. Respect the lake, seriously.
That's my pictures of Presque Isle this year. I really enjoyed going back and being able to stand there again, just me and the endless water.

Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore

 While I was Up North, I got to go on the Pictured Rocks tour. You can only see most of the Pictured Rocks from Lake Superior so you have to go on a boat to see them. I'd never done it before so it was really cool. The boats hold about 150 people, but ours wasn't full. I got a seat on the top of the boat so I was outside the whole time and it was easy to take pictures. The boats go 13 mph and slow down near each of the coolest structures. The whole tour was almost three hours and it was really awesome. The weather was perfect and the lake was really calm so it was a great time.

 This is Miner's Castle. I've been here a million times because you can go see it from land. In fact, the observation deck is visible in this picture. But I'd never seen it from the water and the bottom of the rock formation is really cool.

 This is called Lover's Leap. Apparently the water is only two feet deep underneath the rocks, so it's not recommended you leap off. The rest of the water is really deep-it drops off really fast to around sixty feet.

 The colours in the rocks are formed by minerals seeping through them. This is called Rainbow Cave. The brownish red is from iron, the green from copper, the black from manganese, and the white from calcium.

 Yeah, this is called Indian Head. It does kind of look like a dude, but I'm assuming a white guy decided it was an Indian.

 This is the Grand Portal. The rockfall underneath the arch is really recent because they used to be able to take boats underneath it.

 The series of rock outcrops here is called Battleship Row because it looks like several old battleships lined up. Of course when you get close to them they don't look like anything.

 This is a closeup of some of the copper seepage in Chapel Cave. The water is deep enough that we were able to take the boat into the cave and get really close to the walls. I thought it was really pretty.

 This is called Chapel Rock. It's a cool rock, but the tree on top of it is also way cool. The tree is only surviving because its roots are actually hanging off one side of the rock and buried in the dirt on the main cliff. It is totally crazy.

This is the East Channel Lighthouse on Grand Island. It doesn't work as a lighthouse anymore, but it's being restored by the people who own summer homes on Grand Island. I think it would be cool if they eventually made it a place you could rent to stay in. I would totally stay in an old lighthouse.

8. What’s your favorite genre to write? To read?

I write some bizarre combination of science fiction and fantasy, sometimes veering into steampunk/post-cyberpunk territory. I like to combine elements of the two genres-fantasy type settings, for example, and genetic engineering and computer hacking from sci-fi. I do more biological-type science fiction elements just because I'm a biologist and understand that a heck of a lot better than physics.
Obviously I like to read science fiction and fantasy. I grew up on the masters of science fiction and Tolkien. Actually now that I think about it, that's most of what I read. I do like some older horror. Most of the other stuff I like to read is considered classic literature or it's nonfiction.

7. Do you lis­ten to music while you write? What kind? Are there any songs you like to relate/apply to your char­ac­ters?

I actually do not listen to music while I write. It's distracting to me. I do however, watch old B-movies while I write, because they are entertaining when I have writer's block. Otherwise, I keep it quiet. I tried listening to music for a while, but I would just get distracted and never write anything down, so I quit. Plus I don't get tangled in my headphones when I'm trying to leave the computer.

Up North Waterfalls

Now seems like a good post to show a bunch of pictures of waterfalls from around the Munising, MI area. So here they are.

 The first is Miner's Falls. Fed by the Miner's River, it goes all the way to Miner's Beach where it dumps out into Lake Superior. Those miners were very creative namers. Anyway, Miner's Falls has actually been moving in the whole 20 years that I've been going Up North. It used to fall more straight in the middle and now it's moving to the right.

 This is Munising Falls. You used to be able to walk behind it on a sandstone shelf that has eroded away. I was able to do that all of once when I was less than a year old. It's actually my earliest memory-walking behind the falls with my dad. Now there's been a bunch of rockfalls so you couldn't get back there if you wanted to.

 This is Au Train Falls and the reason it's such a close picture is because I was walking up the falls when I took the photo. Au Train Falls is really big, but it's also really shallow and the rock formations are perfect for walking on. There's a hydroelectric plant nearby, which is cool I guess.

 This is Bridalveil Falls. You can only see it from Lake Superior, which it dumps directly into, and it's a seasonal waterfall, so it's not always flowing. I was able to take the photo on the Pictured Rocks boat tour, which is awesome and I highly recommend. Anyway, I like how these falls just skate down the rocks.

Lastly, this is Wagner Falls. I think it's one of the prettiest waterfalls. The Anna River flows over the falls and keeps going towards Lake Superior. Not a lot of people go see this one so it's nice because you're all by yourself.
That is the waterfalls of the Pictured Rocks area that I saw and took pictures of this year. Ta-da!

6. Where are you most com­fort­able writ­ing? At what time of day? Com­puter or good ol’ pen and paper?

I usually write my NaNoWriMo novels right at the computer because it counts my words for me and I do type faster than I write. Since until recently I worked full-time, and I will be a full-time student for the next million years, I usually have to write in the evening. If I'm just working on either outlining future work or just stretching my writing muscles by doing fanfiction, then I handwrite everything. I still do it in the evening though. I only have time to do these things in the evening.

Programming Note

This is just a quick placeholder/reminder for me. Once I get home, I'll do a real series of entries on my Up North vacation. I'd like to get home and get my photos in order so I can put some of them up here so everyone can see what I'm talking about when I say this is the most beautiful place on Earth. I might be interrupted by my quick trip to the Stratford Shakespeare Festival, but maybe not if I'm really on top of my shit.

Last Day of Work and First Day of Vacation

Yesterday was my last day of work at Karmanos. Of course there was some more stupid drama, this time about the microscope. I have no idea how that will end, but it was really stupid. But after decontaminating equipment and packing up the rest of the other lab, my supervisor took me out to lunch at the Motor City Brewery. They make this awesome pizza there and of course brew their own beers. It was cool and I got to go home early. I'll miss working with my supervisor, she is absolutely awesome, but I'm glad to get away from the drama and move on to graduate school.
Today I drove with my family to Munising, MI on Lake Superior. The drive is pretty boring. I used to think it was super long, but after driving to Iowa and back a couple of times on my own this drive seemed short in comparison. It's actually only three hours shorter, but it seemed like a lot more. The weather is awesome up here right now. It's in the mid-sixties, no humidity, and sunny. It's the perfect kind of weather to me.
I know I'm being slow about the writing meme. I promise I'll finish it eventually. The last week of work was really busy and then my brain was just mush by the end of the day. 

Fencing

It's me! In my fencing gear. I fence epee and it's about freaking time that I took a picture of myself with my gear on.

5. By age, who is your youngest char­ac­ter? Old­est? How about “youngest” and “old­est” in terms of when you cre­ated them?

Let's see...my youngest character is Jennifer in Terminal Dreams. She's 14 and is the one that first suspects her older sister is haunting the house. She also gets in touch with the ghost hunting teams. I think my oldest character is Nikolas in The Last Days of the Unreal City. He's in his 60s and works with a group on Earth trying to rebuild the ground cities after the war.
In terms of age of creations, Liera in my as untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 is actually the oldest. I created her way back in middle school, and the story has gone through so many permutations in my head. This year is when I hope to really write down the story the way I want it. Youngest in terms of creation are the cast of The Last Days of the Unreal City. I made them all up last year for NaNoWriMo 2010. 

4. Tell us about one of your first stories/characters!

Oh, I just remembered the first story I ever wrote a few days ago. I was in first grade when I wrote it, so it's hilariously silly. It had something to do with my two best friends at the time, who were both named Mike, and horses were involved. I did illustrations to it as well, and if I recall correctly the horses looked more like camels. But I thought I was sooo fancy and such a good writer. I've gotten better since then, I promise.

3. How do you come up with names, for char­ac­ters (and for places if you’re writ­ing about fic­tional places)?

Well, I don't really have a set process. Usually they just sort of magically come into my head. Occasionally I'll borrow a name from somewhere else, but I never straight up use a character's name unless I'm writing fanfiction. But most of the time names just randomly pop up when I need them. If I really needed a name and nothing was coming, I'd probably google around a bit until I found something that sounded good.

2. How many char­ac­ters do you have? Do you pre­fer males or females?

I don't even think I can count the number of characters I have. There are loads in each story. Most of them are secondary/background characters, but they're there. Almost all of my main protagonists are female, because I'm a girl so it seems easier to write women, although I do have a couple of male main characters. I've never written a story from an all-male perspective though. I feel like I wouldn't know how.

1. Tell us about your favorite writ­ing project/universe that you’ve worked with and why.

I think that my favorite thus far was my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel, entitled Terminal Dreams. It's about a haunting and ghost hunts from the ghost's point of view. I got the idea while simultaneously doing homework and watching Ghost Hunters and wondered what the ghosts thought about the guys doing this stuff, if they were there. The universe was present day, and the nice thing was that I didn't have to do a lot of background research beyond what types of things people use for ghost hunting. The background research on my current project is killing me. Anyway, I think this is my favorite because it came together so well, and it is my first complete novel. This year's, once it's done, may become the favorite because it's been kicking around in my head for so long, but for now Terminal Dreams takes the cake.

30 Day Writing Meme

 I'm going to embark on another 30 day meme; this time it's not general questions but instead deals with writing. Since I have written a couple novels and am gearing up for the third in November, I thought it would be both interesting and useful to get me into novel writing mode. Here are the questions:
1. Tell us about your favorite writ­ing project/universe that you’ve worked with and why.
2. How many char­ac­ters do you have? Do you pre­fer males or females?
3. How do you come up with names, for char­ac­ters (and for places if you’re writ­ing about fic­tional places)?
4. Tell us about one of your first stories/characters!
5. By age, who is your youngest char­ac­ter? Old­est? How about “youngest” and “old­est” in terms of when you cre­ated them?
6. Where are you most com­fort­able writ­ing? At what time of day? Com­puter or good ol’ pen and paper?
7. Do you lis­ten to music while you write? What kind? Are there any songs you like to relate/apply to your char­ac­ters?
8. What’s your favorite genre to write? To read?
9. How do you get ideas for your char­ac­ters? Describe the process of cre­at­ing them.
10. What are some really weird sit­u­a­tions your char­ac­ters have been in? Every­thing from seri­ous canon scenes to meme ques­tions counts!
11. Who is your favorite char­ac­ter to write? Least favorite?
12. In what story did you feel you did the best job of world­build­ing? Any side-notes on it you’d like to share?
13. What’s your favorite cul­ture to write, fic­tional or not?
14. How do you map out loca­tions, if needed? Do you have any to show us?
15. Mid­way ques­tion! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether pro­fes­sional or not!
16. Do you write roman­tic rela­tion­ships? How do you do with those, and how “far” are you will­ing to go in your writ­ing? ;)
17. Favorite pro­tag­o­nist and why!
18. Favorite antag­o­nist and why!
19. Favorite minor that decided to shove him­self into the spot­light and why!
20. What are your favorite char­ac­ter inter­ac­tions to write?
21. Do any of your char­ac­ters have chil­dren? How well do you write them?
22. Tell us about one scene between your char­ac­ters that you’ve never writ­ten or told any­one about before! Seri­ous or not.
23. How long does it usu­ally take you to com­plete an entire story—from plan­ning to writ­ing to post­ing (if you post your work)?
24. How will­ing are you to kill your char­ac­ters if the plot so demands it? What’s the most inter­est­ing way you’ve killed some­one?
25. Do any of your char­ac­ters have pets? Tell us about them.
26. Let’s talk art! Do you draw your char­ac­ters? Do oth­ers draw them? Pick one of your OCs and post your favorite pic­ture of him!
27. Along sim­i­lar lines, do appear­ances play a big role in your sto­ries? Tell us about them, or if not, how you go about design­ing your char­ac­ters.
28. Have you ever writ­ten a char­ac­ter with phys­i­cal or men­tal dis­abil­i­ties? Describe them, and if there’s noth­ing major to speak of, tell us a few smaller ones.
29. How often do you think about writ­ing? Ever come across some­thing IRL that reminds you of your story/characters?
30. Final ques­tion! Tag some­one! And tell us what you like about that per­son as a writer and/or about one of his/her characters!

T-10 Days

I only have ten more days left at work! Thank goodness too, because there is more stupid shit going down and it is getting really annoying. We're supposed to be moving to another building, so I've spent the past two weeks busting my ass to get everything packed up. Well, earlier this week my boss finds out that the space we're moving into hasn't been vacated yet, and the guy who is supposed to be vacating it is holding the area hostage while he demands fancy crap for his new space. And the dean is currently on vacation, so we have to wait for him to get back and forcibly kick this guy out so we can move in.
None of this would be a huge deal except that now we have time to do some science since we aren't moving, and everything is already packed up. So doing experiments is a double pain in the ass because I don't know where anything is and have to dig through boxes all the time. I'm looking forward to being done and having this be someone else's problem. 

I keep spending money

The past week or so has been expensive. I'm buying a bunch of the stuff I need/want for moving, and of course it costs money. Thankfully I have all this money plus some, but I don't like seeing my money go away. The most expensive thing I bought was a new bed. I've been sleeping in a twin bed for way too long, so I bought a queen size. Yay! The next most expensive thing is a stationary recumbent bicycle. I want to keep up exercising, but I know that especially the first semester, I probably won't be doing much fencing or going to a gym. Plus I can read while I use a recumbent bike, so I can study while exercising. I like to multitask. Then it's just small stupid things like kitchen stuff, a region-free DVD player, floor lamps, stuff like that. I'm glad I've been budgeting for all this stuff for a while.
I've only got fifteen days of work left! I'm really excited to be done. Technically I get paid through July 8th because I'm using all my vacation days, but it's really only fifteen days left to show up at work. I'll miss my supervisor because she's completely awesome, but I am glad to move on.

It's June!

It's June, and that means that I have less than a month left at work. I am really looking forward to being done. There's been stupid politics going on for ages, but it's just getting sillier and sillier. Luckily my supervisor is really awesome, but there's not a lot we can do to change the political climate. It's frustrating. So I'm getting excited that I'll be able to leave soon. Plus I am really looking forward to going back to graduate school, although I am really nervous about getting grades again. I'll feel better after the first semester is over and I've passed everything. Until then I think I'll be at least a bit worried.
In other news, I went shopping last Monday and now I wear a size 10 jeans! I was also able to buy some button down shirts in a size L instead of XL. It is gratifying to finally be able to go down a couple of sizes. I've lost forty pounds since I was at my highest weight in 2009. I'm not done losing weight; I want to lose another 20 pounds or so. But being able to get into smaller clothes makes me really happy. 

Odds and Ends

I went shopping today. I bought a new bed, upgrading to a queen size for my new apartment. I bought an ottoman, a wall clock, and a couple of floor lamps. It was relatively painless, which is how I like my shopping. My mum makes fun of me because I shop like a guy. I don't like to spend hours looking around at everything-I just want to go in, get what I want, and get the hell out. Today I was able to do that so I'm a happy camper. Tomorrow I'm going to the outlet mall with my mum and granny for clothes and kitchen gadgets, and I'm hoping that it will be equally painless. We'll see.
After I was done shopping, I helped my dad plant the garden. We had chives and red onions spontaneously grow, but we had to plant the bell peppers and tomatoes. We'll also put in green beans and cucumbers, but the greenhouse didn't have those plants yet. Just as we finished putting them in, it started to thunder and the tornado sirens went off. We went inside to find out that we were under a tornado warning. Oh, what fun. So we had to corral three cats in their carriers to get them to stay in the basement, and my dad had to carry the collie downstairs because she can't walk down the stairs by herself. Our oldest cat started yowling, which set off my cat, and the fluffiest cat was trying to escape the whole time. Thankfully we only had to stay down there about fifteen minutes and the worst of the storm passed by.
Now I'm starting to plan my latest NaNoWriMo novel. It's actually a reboot of the one I tried to do and failed in 2008, which is the story that's been bouncing around my head for more than a decade now. I'm actually going to start doing a load of research since it has to do with pirates, and I need to get my nautical terms straight. And then throw in a really bad dude, meddling gods, super soldier manufacturing camps, and some cranky dwarves and you get the idea. It's X-Men meets Lord of the Rings meets Pirates of the Caribbean meets Iron Man. So really, really complicated, pretty much. And hopefully it will be really awesome when I write it.

Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.

Highs:

• I got approved for my apartment in Ames.
  
• I got to hang with my dad's side of the family yesterday and meet my cousin's fiance.
  
• I bought furniture for my new apartment.

Lows:

• I'm doing the jobs of three people at work but still only getting paid to do one job. I am told that this is just how it is in the real world. Bummer.
  

Well, I don't have many lows so that's good! And I finally finished this meme.

Day 29 - Goals for the next thirty days.

-Pack my entire life back into boxed in preparation for moving.
-Pack and move the entire lab from Hudson-Webber to C.S. Mott.
-Finish my experiments so I can go on vacation without worry.
-Get back to really eating on plan instead of half-assing it.
-Background research for NaNoWriMo this year.

Day 28 - Something that you miss.

I actually miss London a lot. I've only been there once, and it was only ten days, but that was an awesome trip. I think London is really the only city I could live in and be happy. It would be crazy cool to end up in the UK in my future. I loved it.

Day 27 - A problem that you have had.

I have generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, and have dealt with several bouts of major depression. It is something that I will live with for the rest of my life, and sometimes it is difficult to deal with. I spent almost three years on medication at one point, which was necessary then, but currently I'm not on anything. It works for me now, because I did a lot of therapy and that's helped me find coping skills to live with the anxiety disorder. My depression is always situational so over time it went away on its own. But I always have to be careful and watch myself so I know when it's time to head back to a therapist or try medication again. It's frustrating sometimes because I know my reactions are irrational, especially the anxiety attacks, but all I can do is work through them. There's no way to prevent them.

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.

Intelligence is a must. I am not going to waste my time with someone who can't keep up with me. Ambition is essential as well. I don't want to be someone's mother and I'm not interested in someone who just wants to float through life. Honestly I'd prefer someone with some kind of college education, although it's not necessarily a deal-breaker. Similar values are important, or if we differ on something, at least respect for those differences. And I mean real respect, not passive-aggressively trying to undermine me since I've had that happen before as well. I only do serious relationships, so if someone wasn't as committed as I was, I would have to end it.
That's it. I don't like to make these lists of what attracts me, because then I think I would probably miss someone who is right for me but maybe doesn't fit what I thought I would want.

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.

This question is kind of weird to me, because there's not a specific person I'm fascinated by. That sounds a little obsessive and weird. But I guess there's a category of behavior that I'm interested in, or at least that I watch a few television shows about that I find interesting, and that would be criminal behavior. Mostly I'm interested in the psychology behind it, and what motivates people to commit crime, and stuff like prison structure and the prison code and stuff like that. I'm not sure why that's so interesting to me, but it is, even from a historical standpoint. Heck, the first class I took with Dr. Griffiths at Iowa State was the crime and mentalities in early modern England class. So yeah, I guess that's fascinating to me in a weird way.

Day 24 - Your favourite movie and what it's about.

I don't really have a favorite movie. Most of the films I like are good adaptations of books anyway. Yeah, can't really answer this question. Who only has one favorite anything, anyway? Like I could pick even if I wanted.

Day 23 - Give five pictures of guys/girls who are famous and you find attractive.

Yes, I find Geoffrey Rush as Hector Barbossa attractive. Shutup.

Hugh Jackman

Robert Downey Jr. Especially with his Tony Stark goatee.

Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. Yes please.

Evgeni Plushenko

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past two years?

I've changed quite a lot, actually. 2009 is what I call the Year From Hell. It started with the end of a four year relationship that I thought was going to become a marriage. At the same time, I was realizing that Georgetown was a horrible place and that I did not want to keep going to school there, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. So 2009 began as a giant existential crisis. Thankfully I had a great therapist. In 2009, I think I was still trying really hard to be an adult, but wasn't sure exactly what that entailed or what I looked like as a truly functional adult. I had spent all of college in one relationship (that I now realize was dysfunctional for at least half of that time) and I had never breached much beyond that. By suddenly being thrust into singledom and forced to make the difficult choice of leaving the Georgetown graduate program, I finally had to get accustomed to making hard decisions and standing by them, even if they were the wrong decisions (for the record, this time they weren't).
After moving back to Detroit, I got a full time job, which is how I spent the rest of 2009, all of 2010, and up until this moment. I got to pay off all of my student loans, which was awesome, but more importantly I spent some time out of school. Just working gave me time to breathe and think about what I really wanted to do. In the fall of 2010 I came to the conclusion that I did want an advanced degree, that I did want to stay in science, and that the right program for me was Iowa State's Interdepartmental Microbiology(IM) PhD program. So I applied. Of course, this spring I was accepted and this summer I'm moving back to Ames to start life as a graduate student again. However, this time I'm going to be a slightly different graduate student. I'm older, I've spent more time in a lab, I'm more certain that this is in fact what I want to do, and in general I'm more prepared to navigate the insanity that is academia. I'm also still single, and planning to stay that way for the meantime, because if nothing else it means that there's one less focal point for drama that will distract me from the much more important goal of passing all my classes. My anxiety disorder and depression are under control now, instead of being active and untreated, and I'm more prepared to recognize when I need help if those things start to trouble me again. Overall, I'm on much sounder footing than I was two years ago.
So to sum up, now I really am a functional adult, instead of someone masquerading as one.

Day 21 - One of your favourite shows.

Let's talk about Doctor Who because it's pretty much the most awesome show that has ever happened ever. I started watching Doctor Who when I was ten. My parents introduced my brother and I to Doctor Who, and thus Tom Baker was my first Doctor (he's #4 chronologically). I was so bummed when we go to the end of his tenure as the Doctor, and I still irrationally hate Peter Davison for being the fifth Doctor, because Tom Baker should have gone on forever. Anyway, then they started it back up again and I watched Nine and Ten. David Tennant should also be the Doctor forever, and that's why I haven't watched Eleven yet. I know it's been like two years since David Tennant was done, but I'm just not ready for a new Doctor. I can't handle it yet. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OK.
Anyway, for the utterly uninformed, Doctor Who is about the Doctor, who's a Time Lord, and he flies around time and space in his TARDIS which looks like a police call-box. And he saves the universe from all kinds of bad guys and is generally badass.
So there you go, Doctor Who. It's awesome.

Day 20 - How important you think education is.

Education is incredibly important. I am a huge proponent of education beyond high school, whether at a four year college or a trade school. I think everyone needs to have skills so they can have a career, not just a job. In addition, I think people should learn more informally about whatever they want, just to be well-rounded and well-informed. Education should be a life-long pursuit.
In addition, education is important to me because of my ethnic background. Being part of an oppressed minority, it was drilled into me that education was my ticket to a better life, and my education would help not just myself, but also my entire people group. Being educated puts us on an equal footing, while not being educated just perpetuates the cycle of poverty and victimization.

Trip to Ames the Second

So I went to Ames this past week to find and obtain the elusive apartment. I was nervous about doing this because trying to find a place in Maryland was painful, to say the least. I was not looking forward to the process.
Except that it ended up being the easiest thing in the universe. I had an appointment to see a couple of apartments in the College Creek complex, which is in west Ames off of Todd Drive. I found the apartment I wanted right there.
It's on the second floor and has a deck (awesome!). It's two bedrooms. The master bedroom has a gigantic walk-in closet. The kitchen has drawers (gasp!) and a gas stove that was installed after the fall of the Soviet Union, plus the usual microwave/refrigerator/dishwasher. There's a lot of natural light in the apartment, so it feels nice and airy. The place was remodeled only a few years ago, so all the doors and carpet are relatively new and not messed up. The place is $640 a month, plus electric. Cable and internets included as well. Having Memo will cost me an extra 20 bucks a month, but he's a good cat and worth it.
So anyways, it's awesome and a billionty times better than the dinky little efficiency I had in Maryland. I put the application and security deposit in, and I should know within the week if I am approved. I don't expect there to be any problems with me getting the place, but once it's finalized I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Day 19 - Discuss disrespecting your parents.

Well I generally wouldn't recommend it since most of the time they really do know what's best for you as a child. Although when I was a teenager, I would bitch and moan about them behind their backs because I clearly knew everything ever and they were just cramping my style . But...if your parents are really raging jackasses, up to and including abuse of any sort, or just being plain racist and bigoted...then you should do what's right. If they think that's disrespecting them, that's their problem, not yours.

Day 18 - A photo of you in the last item of clothing you bought.

Right, so this isn't the most recent clothing item I bought, and it's not even all of me because I fail so hardcore at taking pictures of myself. But it is the t-shirt I'm currently wearing, and yes, that is an electric sheep. Do androids dream of this sheep? No one knows.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Highs-Getting accepted to Iowa State's interdepartmental microbiology PhD program!
-Finding an awesome apartment! That just happened this week.
-Losing a lot of weight.

Lows-My great aunt Barbara's and my grandfather John's deaths.


Actually there weren't many lows last year. I guess that's a nice reprieve since 2009 was the worst year of my life.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

Succinctly, the great majority of it is throw-away pop with no real meaning. And that's cool, I guess. Sometimes I'm more in the mood for Lady Gaga dance songs than deep-and-meaningful Dream Theater. The only 'mainstream music' I really take issue with is the gangsta-style rap and hip hop, and that's because it tends to be incredibly misogynist and glorifies things like rampant drug use and trafficking. That I have a problem with. But most pop? I'm okay with it. Granted, I wouldn't let my prepubescent kid listen to a lot of it because of the sexual messages, but whatever.

Day 15 - Your favourite photo of yourself and why.

Here's me in London with a bunch of phone boxes. It was the closest I could get to a TARDIS. I like this photo because I'm in London, and it's the most recent picture I have of myself where I'm not super fat but am still an adult. Hopefully I'll have more pictures like that soon.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

My earliest memory is actually really early, and I can confirm the date because the memory is from a family vacation and my parents know exactly when that happened. I had just turned one year old. We went to the Upper Peninsula, to Munising, that summer. One of the things we did was go to Munising Falls. You can't do it anymore, but there used to be a ledge that went around and behind the waterfall, and you could walk around it. My memory is of walking behind the waterfall with my dad. I am right behind the falls in my memory, and my dad is holding my right hand while we are walking.
This was actually the only time I was able to walk behind the falls, because the park closed the ledge to visitors after that. There were a lot of rockfalls in the area that made it unsafe. The last time we were there, the ledge was so eroded away that no one could have walked around it.

Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.

This is going to sound really weird, but I would really like to visit Chernobyl and the Exclusion Zone around the reactor. I'd also like to visit other places that have been abandoned, like Centralia, PA. I just think it's really interesting how these places turn out when people leave them and nature is the only thing left.
I'd also like to visit some of the neat little islands in the world, like Easter Island and the Galapagos. Oh, and I'd also like to visit Madagascar because it's a biodiversity hotspot.

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

• Woke up at 6:40AM after having a weird dream involving Rorschach and a train.
  
• Put my contacts in, eat Captain Crunch for breakfast, put on clothes.
  
• Leave at 7:05AM in Alfred.
  
• Drive to Detroit.
  
• Get into lab at 7:50AM, make coffee, drink coffee.
  
• Aliccia comes in and we chit-chat.
  
• Go upstairs at 9AM, feed all the cells.
  
• Come back downstairs at 10:15AM.
  
• Gang comes in at 10:30AM, chats with Aliccia and I for about an hour.
  
• I pour a 1.5% agarose gel.
  
• Noon-lunchtime at Subway.
  
• 1:15PM Run my PCR product on said agarose gel.
  
• 3:00PM Look at the gel and find out that I apparently have no PCR product. Curse repeatedly. Spend the next hour coming up with ways to troubleshoot.
  
• Leave work at 4PM.
  
• Get home, dork around on the internet.
  
• Parents come home at 5:30PM with Wendy's for dinner.
  
• Took a shower at 7PM.
  
• Mythbusters is on at 9PM.
  
• I will go to bed 11PM-ish.
  

Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Chemistry-Rush, Signals
Tell Me Baby-Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium
Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day, American Idiot
Good Morning Girl-Journey, The Essential Journey
Pull Me Under-Dream Theater, Images and Words
The Voyage-The Moody Blues, Time Traveller
Anagram-Rush, Presto
Daddy Rolling Stone-The Who, 35 Years of Maximum R&B
Two Story Town-Bon Jovi, Crush
dawn of the dead-Does It Offend You, Yeah?, You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into

That's actually not a bad representation of what I listen to.

Day 10 - A passage from a book that has touched you.

It's actually from V for Vendetta. The section is the letter Valerie wrote and passed through her cell to V. It's a million times more powerful if you read the actual comic, with the pictures and the words together, but this is the transcript.

I don't know who you are. Please believe. There is no way I can convince you that this is not one of their tricks. But I don't care. I am me, and I don't know who you are, but I love you.

I have a pencil. A little one they did not find. I am a women. I hid it inside me. Perhaps I won't be able to write again, so this is a long letter about my life. It is the only autobiography I have ever written and oh God I'm writing it on toilet paper.

I was born in Nottingham in 1957, and it rained a lot. I passed my eleven plus and went to girl's Grammar. I wanted to be an actress.

I met my first girlfriend at school. Her name was Sara. She was fourteen and I was fifteen but we were both in Miss. Watson's class. Her wrists. Her wrists were beautiful. I sat in biology class, staring at the picket rabbit foetus in its jar, listening while Mr. Hird said it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't.

In 1976 I stopped pretending and took a girl called Christine home to meet my parents. A week later I enrolled at drama college. My mother said I broke her heart.

But it was my integrity that was important. Is that so selfish? It sells for so little, but it's all we have left in this place. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.

London. I was happy in London. In 1981 I played Dandini in Cinderella. My first rep work. The world was strange and rustling and busy, with invisible crowds behind the hot lights and all that breathless glamour. It was exciting and it was lonely. At nights I'd go to the Crew-Ins or one of the other clubs. But I was stand-offish and didn't mix easily. I saw a lot of the scene, but I never felt comfortable there. So many of them just wanted to be gay. It was their life, their ambition. And I wanted more than that.

Work improved. I got small film roles, then bigger ones. In 1986 I starred in "The Salt Flats." It pulled in the awards but not the crowds. I met Ruth while working on that. We loved each other. We lived together and on Valentine's Day she sent me roses and oh God, we had so much. Those were the best three years of my life.

In 1988 there was the war, and after that there were no more roses. Not for anybody.

In 1992 they started rounding up the gays. They took Ruth while she was out looking for food. Why are they so frightened of us? They burned her with cigarette ends and made her give them my name. She signed a statement saying I'd seduced her. I didn't blame her. God, I loved her. I didn't blame her.

But she did. She killed herself in her cell. She couldn't live with betraying me, with giving up that last inch. Oh Ruth. . . .

They came for me. They told me that all of my films would be burned. They shaved off my hair and held my head down a toilet bowl and told jokes about lesbians. They brought me here and gave me drugs. I can't feel my tongue anymore. I can't speak.

The other gay women here, Rita, died two weeks ago. I imagine I'll die quite soon. It's strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and I apologized to nobody.

I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one.

An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

I don't know who you are. Or whether you're a man or a woman. I may never see you or cry with you or get drunk with you. But I love you. I hope that you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better, and that one day people have roses again. I wish I could kiss you.

Valerie

Day 09 - What you hope your future will be like.

Happy, mostly. I can go on about how I want to go into academia and be a professor and do research and all that shit, but at the end of the day I just want to be happy. I've learned that my life doesn't always go according to the way that I think it will or even think I want it to, so I don't focus too much on exactly what will happen. Whatever happens, however it works out, I'm okay as long as I'm content.

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

Actually, this moment was recently. It was when I got my acceptance to Iowa State's IM program. I felt so happy that I was going back to school. I was so relieved that the Georgetown Debacle hadn't held me back, and won't ever again. I just felt so happy and so confident, and satisfied knowing that my life is going in the direction that I want it to go.

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

I'm a Leo. Here's the shortest description I could find. I'll go a line at a time, my response in bold.

Leo, your star sign, is a masculine sign. I do think that I am androgynous and don't fit a lot of stereotypical female gender norms.

It is a fire sign, which means Leo people are grand, confident and generous. Of course, they may be a bit egocentric and can somewhat overbearing. Glamorous Leo enjoys life and all its pleasures. I am not glamorous at all. Sometimes I'm confident, and I hope I'm generous. I'm sure that at my worst I can be egocentric.

You enjoy company and are a friendly host and natural entertainer. You get great pleasure from helping others enjoy life as much as you do. Enthusiasm, generosity and your sunny disposition inspire the affection of many friends and admirers. Some less popular people may turn green with envy. I like people, but I do not like to entertain guests. I am really introverted actually. I'm not aware of anyone being jealous of me either! I have never been popular.

Though full of ambition and enthusiasm, Leo has to admit to a lazy streak sometimes. Oh yeah, although isn't everyone a bit lazy sometimes?

As a Leo you can be stubborn and resistant to imposed changes. This is very true. I really like a routine and get very anxious when it changes, especially without advance notice!

Your gregarious nature makes it hard to enjoy boring physical routines. Yeah, I prefer playing a sport as opposed to just working out.

Arts and crafts, theatre groups, philanthropic societies and religious organizations interest you. Eh...not really. I don't do groups well. Not at all, really.

Professionally, Leos are well suited as managers, architects, inventors, teachers, athletes and Presidents. They make great leaders. I have been told multiple times that I am a good leader, so I guess this is accurate. I always feel inadequate though.

I guess the biggest thing I don't agree with is the extroversion and desire to be in the spotlight. I'm very introverted and shy away from those sorts of things. Otherwise, it's not completely off.

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Well, there's no guarantee that these will be interesting, but I'll do my best.

1. I was in downtown Detroit at Sinai Hospital. The building that Sinai was in has since been torn down.
2. I have known that I wanted to be a scientist since I was 6 years old. My first grade teacher had us watch tadpoles grow into frogs in class, and it was the coolest thing. Since then, I've always wanted to do some kind of science, although the kind changed several times.
3. I played soccer for seven years, then did nothing, and now I fence epee. I've fenced for two years now.
4. I have one brother. He's four years younger than me. He's probably also smarter than me. Don't ever tell him I said that though.
5. I'm Native American. Cherokee, Eastern band to be exact. But my relatives pretended to be white after Indian Removal, so I'm not enrolled in the tribe.
6. When I was seven, I had eye surgery because both of my eyes were lazy.
7. I have never broken a bone, but I have sprained my ankles and knees more times than I can count.
8. The first concert I went to was the Moody Blues, and I was six.
9. I hate bell peppers, cilantro, and onions.
10. I skipped sixth grade. Actually, I did one semester of sixth grade and then moved up and did one semester of seventh grade. I probably should have skipped two grades. Seventh grade was just as boring as sixth.
11. I'm a huge science fiction and fantasy geek. I got started by reading Lord of the Rings in fourth grade, and then I read Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
12. My cat is the dumbest cat in the world. He is actually too dumb to figure out how the catflap works in the basement door. He's sweet though, so it evens out.
13. My favorite bands are The Who, RUSH, and Dream Theater.
14. My first word was kittycat.
15. I got into comics in college. I read all my mom's X-Men from the Claremont era, then picked up Alan Moore's stuff, and finally read Neil Gaiman's Sandman last year.
16. Speaking of Sandman, reading it helped me figure out some of my spiritual beliefs.
17. I have this thing for the anti-hero characters in books and comics. Some of my favorites are Magneto, Tony Stark, V, and Rorschach.
18. I have PCOS. The worst part of it for me is the acne. It bothers me more than my weight right now.
19. At the time, I thought that dropping out of Georgetown was a huge failure on my part, but it turned out to be the absolute best thing that ever happened to me.
20. I would rather live in a rural area than a city.
21. I was eighteen months old when I first rode a horse.
22. I collect giant stuffed microbes. I have twenty right now.
23. I didn't get a car until I was 22 years old. It's a yellow 2006 Ford Focus. His name is Alfred.
24. My first crush was on Batman. Adam West's Batman from the campy 1960s show.
25. My natural hair color is light brown. I dye it dark brown because I think it looks better.
26. My second crush was on Tom Baker's Doctor Who. Yeah.
27. I almost killed a cactus once. But every aloe plant I grow does really well.
28. I probably have more than 500 books.
29. I repeated AP Calculus in high school. I got a C+ in the class, but then I passed the AP exam and Iowa State gave me college credit for it. It was the hardest class I've ever had.
30. I like to play video games. Right now I'm playing Pokemon White. The only thing I won't play are FPS games, because I suck at them.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

I'm doing another one of these today since I skipped yesterday. Given the subject matter, before I keep going, I will state that this could possibly be triggering. Proceed at your own risk.

I've thought about ending my life several times, mostly during my first major depressive cycle when I was in middle/high school. I was bullied a lot during that time, mostly for being smart and skipping a grade (why this makes you bully fodder at a school for intellectually gifted people I don't know). I didn't have a whole lot of friends and felt really isolated, and for some reason I didn't tell anyone what was going on. During that time I thought most about ending my life. I actually only tried once, and it was the most half-assed try in the world, with scissors that didn't even leave any marks. I don't really remember why I stopped, whether it just hurt or something else stopped me, but that was my only attempt. Even after that, I didn't tell anyone what was going on, and so I didn't have any therapy until I was in college and went on my own. So even though I thought about it a lot, I never really gave it a go.
Thankfully, since then I haven't had such bad depression. I do, however, have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Simply put, I will have panic attacks about the weirdest shit and they are debilitating. It's hellacious when I can't deal with it. I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for a couple of years. I also did several rounds of therapy-two at Iowa State, and one while I was in Washington DC. During this last round of therapy (2009, and it was intensive) I was able to stop taking both of those and use some coping techniques to keep my anxiety levels from skyrocketing. It's working really well so far, although I'm aware that I might need to go back on medication someday.
So that's the story of my one suicide attempt and my current mental health issues, which thankfully have turned out to be fairly minor.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

The short answer is: I'm a liberal Christian universalist.
The longer answer is: I grew up in a Protestant church. As I got older, I started having more issues with the concept of the Bible being the absolute literal word of God. I still don't believe that. I'm also a scientist. The theory of evolution is valid. The universe is 13 billion years old. The earth is 4.5 billion years old. And then I started paying attention to politics. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-gay marriage. Hell, I'm pro-gay people in general. Then I realized that wow, I really don't fit in to about 95% of American churches. Oh, and that thing where only Christians go to Heaven? I don't buy it. Because if I was God, I could come up with a million reasons to give someone the benefit of the doubt, or a second chance, or whatever. If I would do it, then God has to, because He's supposed to be the very embodiment of Love. But I'm okay with the Jesus part of everything, which is why I still identify as Christian. Just a liberal, universalist one.
Clearly I'm not popular at many churches. So I don't really like going. Plus I don't think I have to be in a building to talk to God (and that is the Native American part of me talking). The Methodist church in Ames is pretty liberal, and last time I was there I felt alright, but most places...never mind. If I don't find a Christian church that I feel comfy at, but still want some kind of church, I'm heading to the Unitarian Universalists.
That's the short and dirty version, because trying to get all this out of my head and onto paper is hard.

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I actually started out being petrified of alcohol, because my grandfather is an alcoholic and I was afraid that I would immediately turn into one when I started drinking. Thankfully that didn't happen. I'm cool with alcohol in moderation. I still don't like being around strangers who are drinking or people getting sloppy drunk, it freaks me out. I do think the legal age for drinking should be lowered to 18-making a substance so forbidden for so long just makes people more likely to abuse it when they do get a hold of it.
I think marijuana should be legalized. It's pretty obvious that for some people it's beneficial for dealing with chronic pain, and as far as most drugs go, it's comparatively harmless. Alcohol does more damage than pot. That said, I've never tried it, and if I do, I don't want to smoke it. Smoking anything generally doesn't make for happy lungs.
As far as harder drugs, some of those I can't see any reason to use, so I'm more ambivalent about their illegality. However, I do wish that the government would change research rules in regards to illegal drugs. You can't do research on Schedule I drugs. That's a bummer, because Ecstasy seemed to show promise as a useful drug for schizophrenia before it was made illegal. Since it's Schedule I, all that promise translated into a whole lot of nothing. So I would certainly be for relaxing research standards on currently illegal drugs.

Day 02 – Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

This one is actually a little easier now. I'm starting graduate school this fall for a PhD in microbiology. The program takes 6 years on average, and I don't have any desire to rush through it, so after 6 years I'll have a PhD. 4 years after that I'll be on either post-doc one or two, depending on how that works out. If the job market sucks massively and I can't get a post-doc, then I'll probably be working at a biotech company somewhere since that at least guarantees a paycheck. The other option would be teaching at a community college, which maybe I could do at the same time as the biotech job if I have to.
Personally, it would be nice to be married but I'm not expecting it or pinning any hopes on it. I'll be 34 in ten years, so by that time I may be considering adopting a child assuming I have the money to do so. Otherwise, it will be me and my cat, who will be 14. And it will be excellent.

Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I am definitely single right now. I've been single for almost 2.5 years, after spending 4 years in a really serious relationship. That relationship crashed and burned, and initially I was completely freaked out about being single again. I had this whole thing planned out, where I would be married by 25 and have kids before 35, and being put all the way back to square one really scared me. I was afraid that I would never get married or have kids and that I would always be alone.
Fast forward to now, and I'm really happy single. I'm at the point now where I would be open to having a relationship, but I'm cool with being by myself too. The way my life is heading, I don't even know if it will really be realistic to get into a serious relationship. I'm less concerned about marriage and kids now too. The more of my friends have kids, the more I realize that the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing really freaks me out. So the idea of adopting, which was always an option I considered, is fast becoming the better option in my head. And I don't have a biological clock running out when it comes to adoption. As for marriage, I would still like to get married, but I've come to enjoy the single life as well. I don't have to worry about another person and how they'll react/feel/think about what I do or who I am. It's actually kind of nice, and the idea of not ever getting married doesn't scare me anymore. My great aunt Barbara, whom I have always admired, never got married, and she had an incredible life. I've come to realize that I can have an incredible life too, with or without a life partner.

30 Day Meme Time!

I shamelessly stole this from a friend, who shamelessly stole it from someone else, etc etc. Anyway, it's actually an interesting meme, and I think it will provoke some interesting writing from me. I do better with prompts anyway. So first, the list...
Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 – Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - What you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - A passage from a book that has touched you.
Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favourite photo of yourself and why.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - A photo of you in the last item of clothing you bought.
Day 19 - Discuss disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favourite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past two years?
Day 23 - Give five pictures of guys/girls who are famous and you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favourite movie and what it's about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next thirty days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.

Winter

It's been forever since I posted pictures, so here are some from winter that I found on my phone. This was in December, which sadly was not the worst of winter.

The icicles were overhanging my window. They were pretty neat.
The maple tree in the front yard. This was the only snowstorm in December. Then in January we got two or three big storms. I ended up stuck at home for four days.
Clearly I didn't go into work this day. The poor road wasn't plowed until evening.