- Woke up at 6:40AM after having a weird dream involving Rorschach and a train.
- Put my contacts in, eat Captain Crunch for breakfast, put on clothes.
- Leave at 7:05AM in Alfred.
- Drive to Detroit.
- Get into lab at 7:50AM, make coffee, drink coffee.
- Aliccia comes in and we chit-chat.
- Go upstairs at 9AM, feed all the cells.
- Come back downstairs at 10:15AM.
- Gang comes in at 10:30AM, chats with Aliccia and I for about an hour.
- I pour a 1.5% agarose gel.
- Noon-lunchtime at Subway.
- 1:15PM Run my PCR product on said agarose gel.
- 3:00PM Look at the gel and find out that I apparently have no PCR product. Curse repeatedly. Spend the next hour coming up with ways to troubleshoot.
- Leave work at 4PM.
- Get home, dork around on the internet.
- Parents come home at 5:30PM with Wendy's for dinner.
- Took a shower at 7PM.
- Mythbusters is on at 9PM.
- I will go to bed 11PM-ish.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Chemistry-Rush, Signals
Tell Me Baby-Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium
Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day, American Idiot
Good Morning Girl-Journey, The Essential Journey
Pull Me Under-Dream Theater, Images and Words
The Voyage-The Moody Blues, Time Traveller
Anagram-Rush, Presto
Daddy Rolling Stone-The Who, 35 Years of Maximum R&B
Two Story Town-Bon Jovi, Crush
dawn of the dead-Does It Offend You, Yeah?, You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into
That's actually not a bad representation of what I listen to.
Tell Me Baby-Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium
Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day, American Idiot
Good Morning Girl-Journey, The Essential Journey
Pull Me Under-Dream Theater, Images and Words
The Voyage-The Moody Blues, Time Traveller
Anagram-Rush, Presto
Daddy Rolling Stone-The Who, 35 Years of Maximum R&B
Two Story Town-Bon Jovi, Crush
dawn of the dead-Does It Offend You, Yeah?, You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into
That's actually not a bad representation of what I listen to.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Day 10 - A passage from a book that has touched you.
It's actually from V for Vendetta. The section is the letter Valerie wrote and passed through her cell to V. It's a million times more powerful if you read the actual comic, with the pictures and the words together, but this is the transcript.
I don't know who you are. Please believe. There is no way I can convince you that this is not one of their tricks. But I don't care. I am me, and I don't know who you are, but I love you.
I have a pencil. A little one they did not find. I am a women. I hid it inside me. Perhaps I won't be able to write again, so this is a long letter about my life. It is the only autobiography I have ever written and oh God I'm writing it on toilet paper.
I was born in Nottingham in 1957, and it rained a lot. I passed my eleven plus and went to girl's Grammar. I wanted to be an actress.
I met my first girlfriend at school. Her name was Sara. She was fourteen and I was fifteen but we were both in Miss. Watson's class. Her wrists. Her wrists were beautiful. I sat in biology class, staring at the picket rabbit foetus in its jar, listening while Mr. Hird said it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't.
In 1976 I stopped pretending and took a girl called Christine home to meet my parents. A week later I enrolled at drama college. My mother said I broke her heart.
But it was my integrity that was important. Is that so selfish? It sells for so little, but it's all we have left in this place. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.
London. I was happy in London. In 1981 I played Dandini in Cinderella. My first rep work. The world was strange and rustling and busy, with invisible crowds behind the hot lights and all that breathless glamour. It was exciting and it was lonely. At nights I'd go to the Crew-Ins or one of the other clubs. But I was stand-offish and didn't mix easily. I saw a lot of the scene, but I never felt comfortable there. So many of them just wanted to be gay. It was their life, their ambition. And I wanted more than that.
Work improved. I got small film roles, then bigger ones. In 1986 I starred in "The Salt Flats." It pulled in the awards but not the crowds. I met Ruth while working on that. We loved each other. We lived together and on Valentine's Day she sent me roses and oh God, we had so much. Those were the best three years of my life.
In 1988 there was the war, and after that there were no more roses. Not for anybody.
In 1992 they started rounding up the gays. They took Ruth while she was out looking for food. Why are they so frightened of us? They burned her with cigarette ends and made her give them my name. She signed a statement saying I'd seduced her. I didn't blame her. God, I loved her. I didn't blame her.
But she did. She killed herself in her cell. She couldn't live with betraying me, with giving up that last inch. Oh Ruth. . . .
They came for me. They told me that all of my films would be burned. They shaved off my hair and held my head down a toilet bowl and told jokes about lesbians. They brought me here and gave me drugs. I can't feel my tongue anymore. I can't speak.
The other gay women here, Rita, died two weeks ago. I imagine I'll die quite soon. It's strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and I apologized to nobody.
I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one.
An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.
I don't know who you are. Or whether you're a man or a woman. I may never see you or cry with you or get drunk with you. But I love you. I hope that you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better, and that one day people have roses again. I wish I could kiss you.
Valerie
Friday, April 15, 2011
Day 09 - What you hope your future will be like.
Happy, mostly. I can go on about how I want to go into academia and be a professor and do research and all that shit, but at the end of the day I just want to be happy. I've learned that my life doesn't always go according to the way that I think it will or even think I want it to, so I don't focus too much on exactly what will happen. Whatever happens, however it works out, I'm okay as long as I'm content.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Actually, this moment was recently. It was when I got my acceptance to Iowa State's IM program. I felt so happy that I was going back to school. I was so relieved that the Georgetown Debacle hadn't held me back, and won't ever again. I just felt so happy and so confident, and satisfied knowing that my life is going in the direction that I want it to go.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
I'm a Leo. Here's the shortest description I could find. I'll go a line at a time, my response in bold.
Leo, your star sign, is a masculine sign. I do think that I am androgynous and don't fit a lot of stereotypical female gender norms.
It is a fire sign, which means Leo people are grand, confident and generous. Of course, they may be a bit egocentric and can somewhat overbearing. Glamorous Leo enjoys life and all its pleasures. I am not glamorous at all. Sometimes I'm confident, and I hope I'm generous. I'm sure that at my worst I can be egocentric.
You enjoy company and are a friendly host and natural entertainer. You get great pleasure from helping others enjoy life as much as you do. Enthusiasm, generosity and your sunny disposition inspire the affection of many friends and admirers. Some less popular people may turn green with envy. I like people, but I do not like to entertain guests. I am really introverted actually. I'm not aware of anyone being jealous of me either! I have never been popular.
Though full of ambition and enthusiasm, Leo has to admit to a lazy streak sometimes. Oh yeah, although isn't everyone a bit lazy sometimes?
As a Leo you can be stubborn and resistant to imposed changes. This is very true. I really like a routine and get very anxious when it changes, especially without advance notice!
Your gregarious nature makes it hard to enjoy boring physical routines. Yeah, I prefer playing a sport as opposed to just working out.
Arts and crafts, theatre groups, philanthropic societies and religious organizations interest you. Eh...not really. I don't do groups well. Not at all, really.
Professionally, Leos are well suited as managers, architects, inventors, teachers, athletes and Presidents. They make great leaders. I have been told multiple times that I am a good leader, so I guess this is accurate. I always feel inadequate though.
I guess the biggest thing I don't agree with is the extroversion and desire to be in the spotlight. I'm very introverted and shy away from those sorts of things. Otherwise, it's not completely off.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Well, there's no guarantee that these will be interesting, but I'll do my best.
1. I was in downtown Detroit at Sinai Hospital. The building that Sinai was in has since been torn down.
2. I have known that I wanted to be a scientist since I was 6 years old. My first grade teacher had us watch tadpoles grow into frogs in class, and it was the coolest thing. Since then, I've always wanted to do some kind of science, although the kind changed several times.
3. I played soccer for seven years, then did nothing, and now I fence epee. I've fenced for two years now.
4. I have one brother. He's four years younger than me. He's probably also smarter than me. Don't ever tell him I said that though.
5. I'm Native American. Cherokee, Eastern band to be exact. But my relatives pretended to be white after Indian Removal, so I'm not enrolled in the tribe.
6. When I was seven, I had eye surgery because both of my eyes were lazy.
7. I have never broken a bone, but I have sprained my ankles and knees more times than I can count.
8. The first concert I went to was the Moody Blues, and I was six.
9. I hate bell peppers, cilantro, and onions.
10. I skipped sixth grade. Actually, I did one semester of sixth grade and then moved up and did one semester of seventh grade. I probably should have skipped two grades. Seventh grade was just as boring as sixth.
11. I'm a huge science fiction and fantasy geek. I got started by reading Lord of the Rings in fourth grade, and then I read Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
12. My cat is the dumbest cat in the world. He is actually too dumb to figure out how the catflap works in the basement door. He's sweet though, so it evens out.
13. My favorite bands are The Who, RUSH, and Dream Theater.
14. My first word was kittycat.
15. I got into comics in college. I read all my mom's X-Men from the Claremont era, then picked up Alan Moore's stuff, and finally read Neil Gaiman's Sandman last year.
16. Speaking of Sandman, reading it helped me figure out some of my spiritual beliefs.
17. I have this thing for the anti-hero characters in books and comics. Some of my favorites are Magneto, Tony Stark, V, and Rorschach.
18. I have PCOS. The worst part of it for me is the acne. It bothers me more than my weight right now.
19. At the time, I thought that dropping out of Georgetown was a huge failure on my part, but it turned out to be the absolute best thing that ever happened to me.
20. I would rather live in a rural area than a city.
21. I was eighteen months old when I first rode a horse.
22. I collect giant stuffed microbes. I have twenty right now.
23. I didn't get a car until I was 22 years old. It's a yellow 2006 Ford Focus. His name is Alfred.
24. My first crush was on Batman. Adam West's Batman from the campy 1960s show.
25. My natural hair color is light brown. I dye it dark brown because I think it looks better.
26. My second crush was on Tom Baker's Doctor Who. Yeah.
27. I almost killed a cactus once. But every aloe plant I grow does really well.
28. I probably have more than 500 books.
29. I repeated AP Calculus in high school. I got a C+ in the class, but then I passed the AP exam and Iowa State gave me college credit for it. It was the hardest class I've ever had.
30. I like to play video games. Right now I'm playing Pokemon White. The only thing I won't play are FPS games, because I suck at them.
1. I was in downtown Detroit at Sinai Hospital. The building that Sinai was in has since been torn down.
2. I have known that I wanted to be a scientist since I was 6 years old. My first grade teacher had us watch tadpoles grow into frogs in class, and it was the coolest thing. Since then, I've always wanted to do some kind of science, although the kind changed several times.
3. I played soccer for seven years, then did nothing, and now I fence epee. I've fenced for two years now.
4. I have one brother. He's four years younger than me. He's probably also smarter than me. Don't ever tell him I said that though.
5. I'm Native American. Cherokee, Eastern band to be exact. But my relatives pretended to be white after Indian Removal, so I'm not enrolled in the tribe.
6. When I was seven, I had eye surgery because both of my eyes were lazy.
7. I have never broken a bone, but I have sprained my ankles and knees more times than I can count.
8. The first concert I went to was the Moody Blues, and I was six.
9. I hate bell peppers, cilantro, and onions.
10. I skipped sixth grade. Actually, I did one semester of sixth grade and then moved up and did one semester of seventh grade. I probably should have skipped two grades. Seventh grade was just as boring as sixth.
11. I'm a huge science fiction and fantasy geek. I got started by reading Lord of the Rings in fourth grade, and then I read Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke.
12. My cat is the dumbest cat in the world. He is actually too dumb to figure out how the catflap works in the basement door. He's sweet though, so it evens out.
13. My favorite bands are The Who, RUSH, and Dream Theater.
14. My first word was kittycat.
15. I got into comics in college. I read all my mom's X-Men from the Claremont era, then picked up Alan Moore's stuff, and finally read Neil Gaiman's Sandman last year.
16. Speaking of Sandman, reading it helped me figure out some of my spiritual beliefs.
17. I have this thing for the anti-hero characters in books and comics. Some of my favorites are Magneto, Tony Stark, V, and Rorschach.
18. I have PCOS. The worst part of it for me is the acne. It bothers me more than my weight right now.
19. At the time, I thought that dropping out of Georgetown was a huge failure on my part, but it turned out to be the absolute best thing that ever happened to me.
20. I would rather live in a rural area than a city.
21. I was eighteen months old when I first rode a horse.
22. I collect giant stuffed microbes. I have twenty right now.
23. I didn't get a car until I was 22 years old. It's a yellow 2006 Ford Focus. His name is Alfred.
24. My first crush was on Batman. Adam West's Batman from the campy 1960s show.
25. My natural hair color is light brown. I dye it dark brown because I think it looks better.
26. My second crush was on Tom Baker's Doctor Who. Yeah.
27. I almost killed a cactus once. But every aloe plant I grow does really well.
28. I probably have more than 500 books.
29. I repeated AP Calculus in high school. I got a C+ in the class, but then I passed the AP exam and Iowa State gave me college credit for it. It was the hardest class I've ever had.
30. I like to play video games. Right now I'm playing Pokemon White. The only thing I won't play are FPS games, because I suck at them.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
I'm doing another one of these today since I skipped yesterday. Given the subject matter, before I keep going, I will state that this could possibly be triggering. Proceed at your own risk.
I've thought about ending my life several times, mostly during my first major depressive cycle when I was in middle/high school. I was bullied a lot during that time, mostly for being smart and skipping a grade (why this makes you bully fodder at a school for intellectually gifted people I don't know). I didn't have a whole lot of friends and felt really isolated, and for some reason I didn't tell anyone what was going on. During that time I thought most about ending my life. I actually only tried once, and it was the most half-assed try in the world, with scissors that didn't even leave any marks. I don't really remember why I stopped, whether it just hurt or something else stopped me, but that was my only attempt. Even after that, I didn't tell anyone what was going on, and so I didn't have any therapy until I was in college and went on my own. So even though I thought about it a lot, I never really gave it a go.
Thankfully, since then I haven't had such bad depression. I do, however, have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Simply put, I will have panic attacks about the weirdest shit and they are debilitating. It's hellacious when I can't deal with it. I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for a couple of years. I also did several rounds of therapy-two at Iowa State, and one while I was in Washington DC. During this last round of therapy (2009, and it was intensive) I was able to stop taking both of those and use some coping techniques to keep my anxiety levels from skyrocketing. It's working really well so far, although I'm aware that I might need to go back on medication someday.
So that's the story of my one suicide attempt and my current mental health issues, which thankfully have turned out to be fairly minor.
I've thought about ending my life several times, mostly during my first major depressive cycle when I was in middle/high school. I was bullied a lot during that time, mostly for being smart and skipping a grade (why this makes you bully fodder at a school for intellectually gifted people I don't know). I didn't have a whole lot of friends and felt really isolated, and for some reason I didn't tell anyone what was going on. During that time I thought most about ending my life. I actually only tried once, and it was the most half-assed try in the world, with scissors that didn't even leave any marks. I don't really remember why I stopped, whether it just hurt or something else stopped me, but that was my only attempt. Even after that, I didn't tell anyone what was going on, and so I didn't have any therapy until I was in college and went on my own. So even though I thought about it a lot, I never really gave it a go.
Thankfully, since then I haven't had such bad depression. I do, however, have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Simply put, I will have panic attacks about the weirdest shit and they are debilitating. It's hellacious when I can't deal with it. I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for a couple of years. I also did several rounds of therapy-two at Iowa State, and one while I was in Washington DC. During this last round of therapy (2009, and it was intensive) I was able to stop taking both of those and use some coping techniques to keep my anxiety levels from skyrocketing. It's working really well so far, although I'm aware that I might need to go back on medication someday.
So that's the story of my one suicide attempt and my current mental health issues, which thankfully have turned out to be fairly minor.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
The short answer is: I'm a liberal Christian universalist.
The longer answer is: I grew up in a Protestant church. As I got older, I started having more issues with the concept of the Bible being the absolute literal word of God. I still don't believe that. I'm also a scientist. The theory of evolution is valid. The universe is 13 billion years old. The earth is 4.5 billion years old. And then I started paying attention to politics. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-gay marriage. Hell, I'm pro-gay people in general. Then I realized that wow, I really don't fit in to about 95% of American churches. Oh, and that thing where only Christians go to Heaven? I don't buy it. Because if I was God, I could come up with a million reasons to give someone the benefit of the doubt, or a second chance, or whatever. If I would do it, then God has to, because He's supposed to be the very embodiment of Love. But I'm okay with the Jesus part of everything, which is why I still identify as Christian. Just a liberal, universalist one.
Clearly I'm not popular at many churches. So I don't really like going. Plus I don't think I have to be in a building to talk to God (and that is the Native American part of me talking). The Methodist church in Ames is pretty liberal, and last time I was there I felt alright, but most places...never mind. If I don't find a Christian church that I feel comfy at, but still want some kind of church, I'm heading to the Unitarian Universalists.
That's the short and dirty version, because trying to get all this out of my head and onto paper is hard.
The longer answer is: I grew up in a Protestant church. As I got older, I started having more issues with the concept of the Bible being the absolute literal word of God. I still don't believe that. I'm also a scientist. The theory of evolution is valid. The universe is 13 billion years old. The earth is 4.5 billion years old. And then I started paying attention to politics. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-gay marriage. Hell, I'm pro-gay people in general. Then I realized that wow, I really don't fit in to about 95% of American churches. Oh, and that thing where only Christians go to Heaven? I don't buy it. Because if I was God, I could come up with a million reasons to give someone the benefit of the doubt, or a second chance, or whatever. If I would do it, then God has to, because He's supposed to be the very embodiment of Love. But I'm okay with the Jesus part of everything, which is why I still identify as Christian. Just a liberal, universalist one.
Clearly I'm not popular at many churches. So I don't really like going. Plus I don't think I have to be in a building to talk to God (and that is the Native American part of me talking). The Methodist church in Ames is pretty liberal, and last time I was there I felt alright, but most places...never mind. If I don't find a Christian church that I feel comfy at, but still want some kind of church, I'm heading to the Unitarian Universalists.
That's the short and dirty version, because trying to get all this out of my head and onto paper is hard.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
I actually started out being petrified of alcohol, because my grandfather is an alcoholic and I was afraid that I would immediately turn into one when I started drinking. Thankfully that didn't happen. I'm cool with alcohol in moderation. I still don't like being around strangers who are drinking or people getting sloppy drunk, it freaks me out. I do think the legal age for drinking should be lowered to 18-making a substance so forbidden for so long just makes people more likely to abuse it when they do get a hold of it.
I think marijuana should be legalized. It's pretty obvious that for some people it's beneficial for dealing with chronic pain, and as far as most drugs go, it's comparatively harmless. Alcohol does more damage than pot. That said, I've never tried it, and if I do, I don't want to smoke it. Smoking anything generally doesn't make for happy lungs.
As far as harder drugs, some of those I can't see any reason to use, so I'm more ambivalent about their illegality. However, I do wish that the government would change research rules in regards to illegal drugs. You can't do research on Schedule I drugs. That's a bummer, because Ecstasy seemed to show promise as a useful drug for schizophrenia before it was made illegal. Since it's Schedule I, all that promise translated into a whole lot of nothing. So I would certainly be for relaxing research standards on currently illegal drugs.
I think marijuana should be legalized. It's pretty obvious that for some people it's beneficial for dealing with chronic pain, and as far as most drugs go, it's comparatively harmless. Alcohol does more damage than pot. That said, I've never tried it, and if I do, I don't want to smoke it. Smoking anything generally doesn't make for happy lungs.
As far as harder drugs, some of those I can't see any reason to use, so I'm more ambivalent about their illegality. However, I do wish that the government would change research rules in regards to illegal drugs. You can't do research on Schedule I drugs. That's a bummer, because Ecstasy seemed to show promise as a useful drug for schizophrenia before it was made illegal. Since it's Schedule I, all that promise translated into a whole lot of nothing. So I would certainly be for relaxing research standards on currently illegal drugs.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Day 02 – Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
This one is actually a little easier now. I'm starting graduate school this fall for a PhD in microbiology. The program takes 6 years on average, and I don't have any desire to rush through it, so after 6 years I'll have a PhD. 4 years after that I'll be on either post-doc one or two, depending on how that works out. If the job market sucks massively and I can't get a post-doc, then I'll probably be working at a biotech company somewhere since that at least guarantees a paycheck. The other option would be teaching at a community college, which maybe I could do at the same time as the biotech job if I have to.
Personally, it would be nice to be married but I'm not expecting it or pinning any hopes on it. I'll be 34 in ten years, so by that time I may be considering adopting a child assuming I have the money to do so. Otherwise, it will be me and my cat, who will be 14. And it will be excellent.
Personally, it would be nice to be married but I'm not expecting it or pinning any hopes on it. I'll be 34 in ten years, so by that time I may be considering adopting a child assuming I have the money to do so. Otherwise, it will be me and my cat, who will be 14. And it will be excellent.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
I am definitely single right now. I've been single for almost 2.5 years, after spending 4 years in a really serious relationship. That relationship crashed and burned, and initially I was completely freaked out about being single again. I had this whole thing planned out, where I would be married by 25 and have kids before 35, and being put all the way back to square one really scared me. I was afraid that I would never get married or have kids and that I would always be alone.
Fast forward to now, and I'm really happy single. I'm at the point now where I would be open to having a relationship, but I'm cool with being by myself too. The way my life is heading, I don't even know if it will really be realistic to get into a serious relationship. I'm less concerned about marriage and kids now too. The more of my friends have kids, the more I realize that the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing really freaks me out. So the idea of adopting, which was always an option I considered, is fast becoming the better option in my head. And I don't have a biological clock running out when it comes to adoption. As for marriage, I would still like to get married, but I've come to enjoy the single life as well. I don't have to worry about another person and how they'll react/feel/think about what I do or who I am. It's actually kind of nice, and the idea of not ever getting married doesn't scare me anymore. My great aunt Barbara, whom I have always admired, never got married, and she had an incredible life. I've come to realize that I can have an incredible life too, with or without a life partner.
Fast forward to now, and I'm really happy single. I'm at the point now where I would be open to having a relationship, but I'm cool with being by myself too. The way my life is heading, I don't even know if it will really be realistic to get into a serious relationship. I'm less concerned about marriage and kids now too. The more of my friends have kids, the more I realize that the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing really freaks me out. So the idea of adopting, which was always an option I considered, is fast becoming the better option in my head. And I don't have a biological clock running out when it comes to adoption. As for marriage, I would still like to get married, but I've come to enjoy the single life as well. I don't have to worry about another person and how they'll react/feel/think about what I do or who I am. It's actually kind of nice, and the idea of not ever getting married doesn't scare me anymore. My great aunt Barbara, whom I have always admired, never got married, and she had an incredible life. I've come to realize that I can have an incredible life too, with or without a life partner.
30 Day Meme Time!
I shamelessly stole this from a friend, who shamelessly stole it from someone else, etc etc. Anyway, it's actually an interesting meme, and I think it will provoke some interesting writing from me. I do better with prompts anyway. So first, the list...
Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 – Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - What you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - A passage from a book that has touched you.
Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favourite photo of yourself and why.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - A photo of you in the last item of clothing you bought.
Day 19 - Discuss disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favourite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past two years?
Day 23 - Give five pictures of guys/girls who are famous and you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favourite movie and what it's about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next thirty days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.
Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 – Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - What you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - A passage from a book that has touched you.
Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favourite photo of yourself and why.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - A photo of you in the last item of clothing you bought.
Day 19 - Discuss disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favourite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past two years?
Day 23 - Give five pictures of guys/girls who are famous and you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favourite movie and what it's about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Goals for the next thirty days.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.
Winter
It's been forever since I posted pictures, so here are some from winter that I found on my phone. This was in December, which sadly was not the worst of winter.
The icicles were overhanging my window. They were pretty neat.
The maple tree in the front yard. This was the only snowstorm in December. Then in January we got two or three big storms. I ended up stuck at home for four days.
Clearly I didn't go into work this day. The poor road wasn't plowed until evening.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Surprise!
I got quite the surprise on Tuesday evening. I was just checking my email for the millionth time, not expecting to have anything remotely important in my inbox, when I saw a message from the chair of Iowa State's Micro program. That would be the PhD program I just got accepted to. The title of the email didn't set off any bells in my head, so I opened it. That's when I got the surprise!!!! (Exclamation points added to make it look surprising.) Apparently the faculty in the Micro program nominated me for an AGEP fellowship! AGEP stands for the Alliance for Graduate Education and the Professoriate, and they reach underrepresented minorities in science and engineering. I had heard of them before because there were some people on an AGEP internship in 2006 when I did my Carver internship, but I didn't know they had a graduate fellowship or that I would even qualify. See, my family decided to go hide in the mountains during Indian Removal, and somehow they managed to pretend to be white for more than a century (Don't ask me how; I have photos of these people and they are not remotely white.) So I have no tribal registration and no official blood quantum, and the Eastern Band has been less than helpful in my family's quest to get us enrolled. Anyway, I don't look super Native either, so sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle to prove that I'm a minority, and thus I don't even think about minority scholarships as possibilities.
But I digress! Anyhow, the faculty in the IM (interdepartmental microbiology) program think that I'm awesome enough to have this AGEP fellowship. That means that I get paid $25,ooo a year instead of $20,000, guaranteed for five years. It also means that the professor I choose as my PI will have less to have to pay out because I have some external funds of my own, so I may have a little more leeway in terms of who I can work with. I am really happy because now it's likely that I won't have to take out any loans for graduate school!
But I digress! Anyhow, the faculty in the IM (interdepartmental microbiology) program think that I'm awesome enough to have this AGEP fellowship. That means that I get paid $25,ooo a year instead of $20,000, guaranteed for five years. It also means that the professor I choose as my PI will have less to have to pay out because I have some external funds of my own, so I may have a little more leeway in terms of who I can work with. I am really happy because now it's likely that I won't have to take out any loans for graduate school!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I got in!
So I was going to write this long post about my interview at Iowa State, and then I put it off for a week, and last Thursday I got an email saying that I was accepted to the Interdepartmental Microbiology PhD program! So it seems a little silly to write a huge post about my interview. Instead I'm writing a short post that says yay!! I got in! So obviously I'm going. I start in August. Now I have to find an apartment and get that part squared away.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Pending Change in my Future
Next Tuesday, I'm driving from Detroit to Ames, IA. I like Ames. Ames is a sweet place. I did my undergrad degree at Iowa State. For some reason, when I graduated, I never thought I would go back, even though I love the place. So I'm a little bemused because next Tuesday, I'm going to Ames to interview with the microbiology graduate program. I applied in the winter for the PhD program there. Initially I thought about applying to some other schools, but the more I looked, the more I realized that I didn't want to go anywhere except back to Iowa State. So I said 'to hell with it' and have staked all of my chances at even higher education on ISU. Since I've made to the interview stage, I've already passed the first cut of applicants. At this point I'm not even sure there is a second cut to be made, or if it's pretty much a given. (For the record, interviews did make a difference at Wake Forest, but if you were interviewed you were in at UMass, so I've experienced it both ways.)
Obviously, I am nervous as hell. I have an anxiety disorder to begin with, so I already fight with myself not to indulge in giant anxiety spirals of destruction. This is hard not to freak out about. Not only to I have to run the interview gauntlet, but I'm driving out there and back alone, which makes me worry about everything from the car breaking down to getting lost and ending up in Kentucky instead. Then of course once I get there, I have to run the interview gauntlet without sounding like an idiot, and there's always the question of whether I will be interrogated about the Great Georgetown Debacle of 2008-09. So yeah. I'm nervous.
Obviously, I am nervous as hell. I have an anxiety disorder to begin with, so I already fight with myself not to indulge in giant anxiety spirals of destruction. This is hard not to freak out about. Not only to I have to run the interview gauntlet, but I'm driving out there and back alone, which makes me worry about everything from the car breaking down to getting lost and ending up in Kentucky instead. Then of course once I get there, I have to run the interview gauntlet without sounding like an idiot, and there's always the question of whether I will be interrogated about the Great Georgetown Debacle of 2008-09. So yeah. I'm nervous.
Monday, February 14, 2011
2.14.2011
I think I'm getting sick. I went home early from work because I was so tired, and my head hurt like crazy, and after dinner I started feeling grumbly in the GI tract. I'm sucking down ginger ale, but I have a feeling that I might be working from home tomorrow.
I usually don't have the opportunity to work from home, because I work in a cancer biology lab, but on Tuesdays there's no cell culture to be done unless I'm setting up experiments. There's no experiment to set up this week, so no bench work tomorrow. Right now I'm actually working on the lab budget. My supervisor is working on a grant proposal and we need to include a budget. Since we just became our own lab, we're still trying to figure out how much everything costs. So that's what I'm doing, and I can keep working on that at home. It's interesting and enlightening because I never realized how much some of the stuff we use costs. I can definitely understand the stress of getting grants and keeping them, because without money the whole lab just falls apart. It makes me a little nervous about my future, since grant funding from the NIH is getting harder and harder to come by, but I'm sure it will work out. If all else fails there are usually jobs available at biotech or pharmaceutical companies, so I could always join the dark side and work in industry. Maybe there will be more grants available by the time I'd need to apply for them (I'm not holding my breath) which would make it a little easier. It's like a decade away so I'm not obsessing too much about it right now. But it has been good to get some experience working on a grant, because it's usually some kind of nebulous thing to a grad student in science. You know that you need them to run a lab and have a career, but you don't really know how it all works until suddenly you need a grant. Crazy, huh?
I usually don't have the opportunity to work from home, because I work in a cancer biology lab, but on Tuesdays there's no cell culture to be done unless I'm setting up experiments. There's no experiment to set up this week, so no bench work tomorrow. Right now I'm actually working on the lab budget. My supervisor is working on a grant proposal and we need to include a budget. Since we just became our own lab, we're still trying to figure out how much everything costs. So that's what I'm doing, and I can keep working on that at home. It's interesting and enlightening because I never realized how much some of the stuff we use costs. I can definitely understand the stress of getting grants and keeping them, because without money the whole lab just falls apart. It makes me a little nervous about my future, since grant funding from the NIH is getting harder and harder to come by, but I'm sure it will work out. If all else fails there are usually jobs available at biotech or pharmaceutical companies, so I could always join the dark side and work in industry. Maybe there will be more grants available by the time I'd need to apply for them (I'm not holding my breath) which would make it a little easier. It's like a decade away so I'm not obsessing too much about it right now. But it has been good to get some experience working on a grant, because it's usually some kind of nebulous thing to a grad student in science. You know that you need them to run a lab and have a career, but you don't really know how it all works until suddenly you need a grant. Crazy, huh?
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Viruses :/
My poor computer got a virus somehow. This was a super lame virus because my antivirus could see it but couldn't delete it for some reason. Anyway, I tried a million things and none of them worked so I reformatted the computer. Well, sort of, I reinstalled Windows cleanly. I couldn't do a reformat from the Dell thing. Anyway, hopefully this worked and I don't have any more viruses. It's such a pain to deal with this stuff. At least I can do it myself though. I'd hate to have to take my computer in to someplace and have them try and do it.
Monday, January 31, 2011
1.31.2011
We buried my grandfather on Saturday. He died last Wednesday, surrounded by all of his children and my granny. Except for being in the hospital, it was pretty much the way he wanted to go. The service was simple, but it was nice; as nice as a funeral can be, anyway. It was very difficult, very exhausting. I'm mostly concerned now about my granny. She's never been alone, and she was kind of brought up to fear being alone. I don't know how she'll manage as she moves into life as a single person for the first time ever. Thankfully, the money situation seems to be better. My grandpa's daughter Barb bought a condo, hoping that my grandparents could move in together. Obviously my grandpa didn't make it, but she promised him that she would take care of my granny. So my granny can live there rent-free for as long as she wants. All of my grandfather's kids are pretty awesome. Funerals bring out the best or the worst in people, and this time the best came out.
I said a little tiny thing at the funeral when they asked for stories about my grandfather John. Here's what I said.
"When I was really little, for some unknown reason I decided that I wanted to be called Fred. The only person who indulged me in this insanity was John. He called me Fred for the rest of my life. Every time I would come to his house, he would say 'Hey Fred' or 'How's school, Fred?' I'm really going to miss being called Fred."
I said a little tiny thing at the funeral when they asked for stories about my grandfather John. Here's what I said.
"When I was really little, for some unknown reason I decided that I wanted to be called Fred. The only person who indulged me in this insanity was John. He called me Fred for the rest of my life. Every time I would come to his house, he would say 'Hey Fred' or 'How's school, Fred?' I'm really going to miss being called Fred."
Monday, January 24, 2011
1.24.2011
My grandfather is much worse. At this point we are being told that it is hours to days. The situation is pretty much as crappy as it can possibly be. There's not a lot else to say about it right now.
Work is actually going pretty well. Aliccia has come up with a bunch of different experiments, and she is planning them all in a way that enables us to get out several papers fairly quickly. I'm plating for an ATP assay this week, and next week I'm plating for a ROS assay and making virus for an array knockdown. It's a lot of work, especially since we moved and don't have everything in place yet, but it's nice to be actually planning real experiments instead of just sitting around. Aliccia also said that the goal is to have at least one paper in publication/in press with my name on it by the time I leave for graduate school.
At least, I hope I'll be leaving for graduate school. My application to Iowa State's microbiology PhD program has been complete and in the committee's hands for a little more than a week now. I'm trying to be patient, although that isn't my best trait. I'm really hoping to hear something by mid-February, at least an invitation to come interview. I'm fairly confident that I'll get into the program, but it's not a sure thing and I'm extremely nervous. I really don't want to go anywhere else for graduate school, and I'm not sure what I'll do if I don't get in. If all else fails, I can take a couple of classes at Wayne State and then reapply next year, but I really want to get moving with my life.
Work is actually going pretty well. Aliccia has come up with a bunch of different experiments, and she is planning them all in a way that enables us to get out several papers fairly quickly. I'm plating for an ATP assay this week, and next week I'm plating for a ROS assay and making virus for an array knockdown. It's a lot of work, especially since we moved and don't have everything in place yet, but it's nice to be actually planning real experiments instead of just sitting around. Aliccia also said that the goal is to have at least one paper in publication/in press with my name on it by the time I leave for graduate school.
At least, I hope I'll be leaving for graduate school. My application to Iowa State's microbiology PhD program has been complete and in the committee's hands for a little more than a week now. I'm trying to be patient, although that isn't my best trait. I'm really hoping to hear something by mid-February, at least an invitation to come interview. I'm fairly confident that I'll get into the program, but it's not a sure thing and I'm extremely nervous. I really don't want to go anywhere else for graduate school, and I'm not sure what I'll do if I don't get in. If all else fails, I can take a couple of classes at Wayne State and then reapply next year, but I really want to get moving with my life.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
1.16.2011
My grandfather is back in the hospital. He had another stroke today. The tumor is pressing on his heart so much that it makes his blood pressure drop and then he starts throwing blood clots. It's very possible that this will happen over and over until he dies.
This is horrible. I can't say anything else.
This is horrible. I can't say anything else.
Monday, January 10, 2011
1.10.2011
Today we moved out of Steve's lab and into Dr. Bepler's lab. I am so relieved to be off the eighth floor. It was getting too awkward and really weird and dramatic. I don't really want to talk shit about people, but I will say that some people could benefit from acting like adults. It was not fun sitting there wondering what people were thinking and saying when I hadn't done anything wrong. But it's all over now, and I'm on the sixth floor. I met all of Dr. Bepler's lab people and they all seem really nice. Dr. Bepler is really nice too-he wrote a letter of recommendation for me when Steve refused to. I'm looking forward to the rest of my tenure at Karmanos now.
As for my grandfather, he's out of the hospital and at home. He has extensive stage small cell lung cancer, which is the kind people usually get from smoking and definitely the crappiest kind of lung cancer to get. He chose to try chemotherapy, which he starts tomorrow, but it is not nice chemo and I'm really concerned that it will actually shorten his life. But I'm glad that he's not in the hospital anymore, because I would hate to die in a hospital. It's rough on my grandmother. It's rough on all of us, really.
As for my grandfather, he's out of the hospital and at home. He has extensive stage small cell lung cancer, which is the kind people usually get from smoking and definitely the crappiest kind of lung cancer to get. He chose to try chemotherapy, which he starts tomorrow, but it is not nice chemo and I'm really concerned that it will actually shorten his life. But I'm glad that he's not in the hospital anymore, because I would hate to die in a hospital. It's rough on my grandmother. It's rough on all of us, really.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 In Review
I like doing these questions every year, because it's easier than trying to sum up the whole year without any prompts.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I got in a car accident. I joined a gym. I visited someone in the hospital.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really. My weight plateaued this year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not anyone particularly close to me, although I know several acquaintances who popped out babies.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my great aunt Barbara.
5. What countries did you visit?
Canada.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Certainty about graduate school.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
My great aunt Barbara died on Memorial Day. I paid off my student loans on December 2nd.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Paying off my student loans completely.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not losing thirty pounds.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not anything serious.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This is a hard one. I didn't buy anything huge and awesome this year, but I bought a bunch of smaller things that all added up to awesome. I guess the Absolute Sandman volumes are pretty awesome, although I still need to get #1.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nobody did anything amazing, so I'm not sure.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The crazy people who chased my mom down the street after their dog bit her. It was weird.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To the government and the Harper cafeteria. Oh, and to the gasoline companies.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Making my final student loan payment. Seeing Christopher Plummer in the Tempest!
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Raise Your Glass-P!nk
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier or sadder: Happier.
Thinner or fatter: Exactly the same. I guess that's okay.
Richer or poorer: Richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Watching DVDs that I'm behind on. Making jewelry. Working out.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Work. I like my job, but I'm pretty sure that I'll always wish I could get paid to do whatever I want.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family. It was difficult because my grandfather is ill.
21. What was your favorite month of 2010?
Probably August, because we went to Stratford and I got to see Christopher Plummer in the Tempest. And I sat in the front row.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Nope. It's slim pickin's out in Detroit. Also, I'm probably moving soon, so it'd be a bit stupid to start a relationship right now. Actually, I was pretty happy being single this year.
23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't do one-night stands.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Doctor Who-I finally finished the last season with David Tennant. Intervention-it's my guilty pleasure. Deadliest Catch-I cried and cried. Mythbusters-yay science!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I don't have a lot of people on my hate list. Hate's a very strong word.
26. What was the best book you read?
Towers of Midnight by Robert Jordan/Brandon Sanderson. I'm peeved that I have to wait an entire year to get the next book.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Is it bad that I have to say the pop station on the radio? Lady Gaga is my extremely guilty pleasure that I don't tell anyone about because it's so embarrassing. But to make up for it, my brother introduced me to Dream Theater.
28. What did you want and get?
Money. Lots of money. Although getting it by having my great aunt die was not really what I envisioned.
29. What did you want and not get?
A laptop. I'm waiting until I know I'm going to school to get one.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus was my favorite. Also with Christopher Plummer!
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 23, and I honestly don't remember what I did. I do, however, remember having the most awesome ice cream cake in the world. It was awesome because it had dinosaurs and a volcano on it.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having to commute. I have realized that I hate commuting.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Jeans, nicer than t-shirt shirts at work, boots. I'm slightly trending towards steampunk. A little bit of country, a little bit rock'n'roll, but all work appropriate? I'm waiting to start changing my style until I'm in a size I'm happier with.
34. What kept you sane?
Weekends. My family.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Downey Jr.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The DADT repeal. I'm so glad it finally got repealed. All the arguing about it was so stupid.
37. Who did you miss?
My Iowa friends, especially Mike and Tessa.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
Mike Byrd at fencing.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Don't live far away from your place of work. Commuting sucks.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
One day I'm here, I'm on top of the world/And the next it's falling in on me/I can get back on, I can get back on-Far Cry, Rush
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I got in a car accident. I joined a gym. I visited someone in the hospital.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really. My weight plateaued this year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not anyone particularly close to me, although I know several acquaintances who popped out babies.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my great aunt Barbara.
5. What countries did you visit?
Canada.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Certainty about graduate school.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
My great aunt Barbara died on Memorial Day. I paid off my student loans on December 2nd.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Paying off my student loans completely.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not losing thirty pounds.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not anything serious.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This is a hard one. I didn't buy anything huge and awesome this year, but I bought a bunch of smaller things that all added up to awesome. I guess the Absolute Sandman volumes are pretty awesome, although I still need to get #1.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nobody did anything amazing, so I'm not sure.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The crazy people who chased my mom down the street after their dog bit her. It was weird.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To the government and the Harper cafeteria. Oh, and to the gasoline companies.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Making my final student loan payment. Seeing Christopher Plummer in the Tempest!
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Raise Your Glass-P!nk
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier or sadder: Happier.
Thinner or fatter: Exactly the same. I guess that's okay.
Richer or poorer: Richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Watching DVDs that I'm behind on. Making jewelry. Working out.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Work. I like my job, but I'm pretty sure that I'll always wish I could get paid to do whatever I want.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my family. It was difficult because my grandfather is ill.
21. What was your favorite month of 2010?
Probably August, because we went to Stratford and I got to see Christopher Plummer in the Tempest. And I sat in the front row.
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Nope. It's slim pickin's out in Detroit. Also, I'm probably moving soon, so it'd be a bit stupid to start a relationship right now. Actually, I was pretty happy being single this year.
23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't do one-night stands.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Doctor Who-I finally finished the last season with David Tennant. Intervention-it's my guilty pleasure. Deadliest Catch-I cried and cried. Mythbusters-yay science!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I don't have a lot of people on my hate list. Hate's a very strong word.
26. What was the best book you read?
Towers of Midnight by Robert Jordan/Brandon Sanderson. I'm peeved that I have to wait an entire year to get the next book.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Is it bad that I have to say the pop station on the radio? Lady Gaga is my extremely guilty pleasure that I don't tell anyone about because it's so embarrassing. But to make up for it, my brother introduced me to Dream Theater.
28. What did you want and get?
Money. Lots of money. Although getting it by having my great aunt die was not really what I envisioned.
29. What did you want and not get?
A laptop. I'm waiting until I know I'm going to school to get one.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus was my favorite. Also with Christopher Plummer!
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 23, and I honestly don't remember what I did. I do, however, remember having the most awesome ice cream cake in the world. It was awesome because it had dinosaurs and a volcano on it.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having to commute. I have realized that I hate commuting.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Jeans, nicer than t-shirt shirts at work, boots. I'm slightly trending towards steampunk. A little bit of country, a little bit rock'n'roll, but all work appropriate? I'm waiting to start changing my style until I'm in a size I'm happier with.
34. What kept you sane?
Weekends. My family.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Downey Jr.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The DADT repeal. I'm so glad it finally got repealed. All the arguing about it was so stupid.
37. Who did you miss?
My Iowa friends, especially Mike and Tessa.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
Mike Byrd at fencing.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Don't live far away from your place of work. Commuting sucks.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
One day I'm here, I'm on top of the world/And the next it's falling in on me/I can get back on, I can get back on-Far Cry, Rush
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Eve 2010
I have such mixed feelings about this New Year. There are some things that I'm really looking forward to (grad school hopefully) and some things that I'm dreading (John dying). It's a little weird to know that someone I love is going to die this year. I don't think I've ever been in this position before, and it makes the whole concept of the new year and starting fresh a bit sour, really. But I'm trying to remain positive and focus on the good things, and start fresh as much as I can. I joined Weight Watchers online today, to help me readjust my eating habits and take off this last 30 pounds or so that I gained in college. I also went out today and bought a bunch of stuff for beading. I like making jewelry but I never seem to have the time, so I'm going to specifically determine a day of the week that I can do it, so that I'm at least doing it once a week. I really have to organize my life like that or I never get anything done.
I am looking forward to the lab move. That's supposed to happen on the 10th of January. It will be nice to finally get out of Steve's hair and move somewhere that isn't in the way, especially since he has some new hires coming in. I will miss the lab though, even the people that annoy me a bit. The way everything played out kind of sucks.
Anyway, here's hoping that 2011 doesn't suck as much as I'm afraid it will.
I am looking forward to the lab move. That's supposed to happen on the 10th of January. It will be nice to finally get out of Steve's hair and move somewhere that isn't in the way, especially since he has some new hires coming in. I will miss the lab though, even the people that annoy me a bit. The way everything played out kind of sucks.
Anyway, here's hoping that 2011 doesn't suck as much as I'm afraid it will.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Hospitals
Earlier this afternoon my family went to visit John at the hospital. Even though I work in a hospital, I've actually only visited someone in the hospital once before. I had forgotten how utterly dismal it is, no matter how much the designers try to make it look bright and happy. People die there and it seeps into the walls, so that it's always gloomy and grim.
John was asleep most of the time we were there. He has pneumonia on top of the heart trouble and the lung cancer, so he had been given some steroids and antibiotics to clear the infection, and they made him pretty loopy. He's stable, but I've never seen him look so sick. Granny was trying to stay calm, but we all know that the prognosis is really bad. They may not even be able to do a biopsy to stage the cancer because of the possibility of him bleeding to death while they do it, so they may just offer palliative radiation treatment to try and shrink the damn thing. No matter what, it all ends with him dying. No matter what, this is his endgame. We just don't know how long it will take to play out.
We left and I'm glad that I'm on vacation this week, because it seems impossible that the world can just keep going on like nothing has happened. It shouldn't keep going on; someone I love is dying. But it does. Trying to keep up with the rest of your life when it feels like everything should grind to a halt is hard. At least we all get a little bit of time to get used to it.
John was asleep most of the time we were there. He has pneumonia on top of the heart trouble and the lung cancer, so he had been given some steroids and antibiotics to clear the infection, and they made him pretty loopy. He's stable, but I've never seen him look so sick. Granny was trying to stay calm, but we all know that the prognosis is really bad. They may not even be able to do a biopsy to stage the cancer because of the possibility of him bleeding to death while they do it, so they may just offer palliative radiation treatment to try and shrink the damn thing. No matter what, it all ends with him dying. No matter what, this is his endgame. We just don't know how long it will take to play out.
We left and I'm glad that I'm on vacation this week, because it seems impossible that the world can just keep going on like nothing has happened. It shouldn't keep going on; someone I love is dying. But it does. Trying to keep up with the rest of your life when it feels like everything should grind to a halt is hard. At least we all get a little bit of time to get used to it.
Christmas
Right, so now I'm going to write a post about the stuff I got for Christmas to take my mind off of all the familial health-related issues at the moment. So.
My granny gave me a ring that she has had for years. It is sterling silver, with turquoise and another kind of stone that I'm not sure what it is. It was made by a Native American friend of hers, which is awesome because I like having the legit stuff that's been kept in the family.
My grandma and grandpa got me a lot of stuff, which I'm not sure they're supposed to do anymore but they do anyway and I'm not complaining. My grandma is the master at finding little local shops to buy things in. This year she found a tea shop in downtown Plymouth of all places and got me some of their tea. It smells amazing! She also got lots of little candies from local artisans-chocolate covered pretzels and stuff like that. And true to form, she got me a Wii game-Kirby's Epic Yarn.
My immediate family still does normal Christmas. I got about a thousand DVDs-seasons 6-10 of Stargate SG-1, the first season of Battlestar Galactica, the 10th Dr. Who specials, and the best of Beakman's World! And then I got games-Rune Factory Frontier, Guitar Hero, and Chrystal Chronicles for the Wii, and The 4 Heroes of Light for the DS. And then I got my favorite instant coffee ever-Fireside Coffee. It's also from a local company in Swartz Creek, and it is delicious. It comes in all kinds of flavours. Grandma got me some last year and I loved it so much that I asked for more this year. Oh, and I got two more giant microbes for my collection-Anthrax and TB.
For my family, I got my Dad his 2011 Dilbert page-a-day calendar. My Mum wanted these microfiber cloths from Levenger that have impressionist paintings on them, so I got her those. I think they're for cleaning her thousands of pairs of reading glasses. I got my brother some matcha powder and a whisk, since he's been wanting to try matcha tea for a while now.
It was a good Christmas, although it got really weird because of the family health issues. Today hasn't been much better on that front. My grandfather John is having a biopsy to confirm that he does have lung cancer, but we all know that it is. The mass is wrapped around his vena cava so there is no way it can be operated on, and palliative care is about all that can be done. Maybe they'll try some radiation once they know what stage the cancer is, but we're looking at probably less than a year left before he dies. And then my great-aunt Frieda is in surgery today to get a colostomy because her intestines are perforated. That's a long obnoxious complicated story that I don't want to repeat, but I will say that her health is so poor due to diabetes that it's entirely possible that she will die on the table. So it's a stressful time for the family. I'm glad we were able to have a decent Christmas anyway, but I know this is really hard on everyone.
My granny gave me a ring that she has had for years. It is sterling silver, with turquoise and another kind of stone that I'm not sure what it is. It was made by a Native American friend of hers, which is awesome because I like having the legit stuff that's been kept in the family.
My grandma and grandpa got me a lot of stuff, which I'm not sure they're supposed to do anymore but they do anyway and I'm not complaining. My grandma is the master at finding little local shops to buy things in. This year she found a tea shop in downtown Plymouth of all places and got me some of their tea. It smells amazing! She also got lots of little candies from local artisans-chocolate covered pretzels and stuff like that. And true to form, she got me a Wii game-Kirby's Epic Yarn.
My immediate family still does normal Christmas. I got about a thousand DVDs-seasons 6-10 of Stargate SG-1, the first season of Battlestar Galactica, the 10th Dr. Who specials, and the best of Beakman's World! And then I got games-Rune Factory Frontier, Guitar Hero, and Chrystal Chronicles for the Wii, and The 4 Heroes of Light for the DS. And then I got my favorite instant coffee ever-Fireside Coffee. It's also from a local company in Swartz Creek, and it is delicious. It comes in all kinds of flavours. Grandma got me some last year and I loved it so much that I asked for more this year. Oh, and I got two more giant microbes for my collection-Anthrax and TB.
For my family, I got my Dad his 2011 Dilbert page-a-day calendar. My Mum wanted these microfiber cloths from Levenger that have impressionist paintings on them, so I got her those. I think they're for cleaning her thousands of pairs of reading glasses. I got my brother some matcha powder and a whisk, since he's been wanting to try matcha tea for a while now.
It was a good Christmas, although it got really weird because of the family health issues. Today hasn't been much better on that front. My grandfather John is having a biopsy to confirm that he does have lung cancer, but we all know that it is. The mass is wrapped around his vena cava so there is no way it can be operated on, and palliative care is about all that can be done. Maybe they'll try some radiation once they know what stage the cancer is, but we're looking at probably less than a year left before he dies. And then my great-aunt Frieda is in surgery today to get a colostomy because her intestines are perforated. That's a long obnoxious complicated story that I don't want to repeat, but I will say that her health is so poor due to diabetes that it's entirely possible that she will die on the table. So it's a stressful time for the family. I'm glad we were able to have a decent Christmas anyway, but I know this is really hard on everyone.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Right, so this was going to be about my Christmas, but it's not. Instead it's going to be about how my grandfather is probably dying.
John is my grandfather (okay, technically my step-grandfather, but he's been more of a grandfather than my real one) and he was admitted to the ER this morning with extremely low blood pressure. The doctors did a million tests and found out he has an atrial fibrillation, which is normal speak means that his heart isn't pumping regularly. The reason for that is a mass in his lung that is pressing on his heart. It's probably lung cancer; he's been a smoker for 40 years. And then this evening he had a small stroke. I guess they caught it in time to prevent any major damage, but who knows if that was it or if he'll have more. On Monday they're going to try and biopsy the mass in the lung, but it's cancer, we all pretty much know it. So I don't know if it will be next week or next month, or even six months or a year from now, but I'll be going to his funeral pretty soon.
John is my grandfather (okay, technically my step-grandfather, but he's been more of a grandfather than my real one) and he was admitted to the ER this morning with extremely low blood pressure. The doctors did a million tests and found out he has an atrial fibrillation, which is normal speak means that his heart isn't pumping regularly. The reason for that is a mass in his lung that is pressing on his heart. It's probably lung cancer; he's been a smoker for 40 years. And then this evening he had a small stroke. I guess they caught it in time to prevent any major damage, but who knows if that was it or if he'll have more. On Monday they're going to try and biopsy the mass in the lung, but it's cancer, we all pretty much know it. So I don't know if it will be next week or next month, or even six months or a year from now, but I'll be going to his funeral pretty soon.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Christmas and other stuff
Last weekend we chopped down a Christmas tree and put it in our house. We do this every year because fake trees are sad. I especially enjoy it because when I move back out, I'll probably be moving into an apartment that only allows sad fake trees. So I relish having a real, pine-tree smelling white spruce in the living room. Now that we finally decorated, it feels a little more Christmassy around here, which makes me less grumpy about it getting dark at 5pm.
What still makes me grumpy is that my science is not behaving. I've been trying to do this GLUT4 blot for two months now, and Aliccia and I cannot get the cells to respond to insulin. We're trying one more time this week, and I really hope it works, because if it doesn't I'm pretty sure we've got serious problems. I hate working ten to twelve hour days when I have a two hour round trip commute so I'm tired and grumpy. So I really hope this works so I can stop working long Thursdays and Fridays.
What still makes me grumpy is that my science is not behaving. I've been trying to do this GLUT4 blot for two months now, and Aliccia and I cannot get the cells to respond to insulin. We're trying one more time this week, and I really hope it works, because if it doesn't I'm pretty sure we've got serious problems. I hate working ten to twelve hour days when I have a two hour round trip commute so I'm tired and grumpy. So I really hope this works so I can stop working long Thursdays and Fridays.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Winter
I am pretty bad at winter. It gets dark way too early and it's too cold and then when it snows, driving is terrible. I really should be used to winter because I grew up in Michigan and went to college in Iowa, and now I live in Michigan again. But I'm still bad at it. I'm sure I could get diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder if I wanted to be, especially since I've struggled with clinical depression in the past, but it just seems like such a silly disorder to have that I'd rather not. Unless, of course, I can get a pass to hibernate until March. Then we'll talk.
Anyway, I'm bad at winter. But I'm not horrible at December, because people put up Christmas lights and that makes it a little easier to deal with sunset at 4:30 in the afternoon. But I'm still looking forward to Daylight Savings Time again. I like it better that way.
Anyway, I'm bad at winter. But I'm not horrible at December, because people put up Christmas lights and that makes it a little easier to deal with sunset at 4:30 in the afternoon. But I'm still looking forward to Daylight Savings Time again. I like it better that way.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
NaNoWriMo 2010 Completion
Today, I wrote more than seven thousand words.
I finished my story.
I validated my word count.
And today I won NaNoWriMo for the second time!
50K in 25 days!
I finished my story.
I validated my word count.
And today I won NaNoWriMo for the second time!
50K in 25 days!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
NaNo and Work
I passed the halfway point on The Last Days of the Unreal City earlier this week, and it felt like a huge accomplishment. Once the word counter went over 25,000, I felt yes, I can do this. Then I kept writing and now I feel like it's a nearly insurmountable task again. I'm sure I'll feel better once I hit 40K.
In contrast to most of October, I've been quite busy at work this month. The paper we are trying to submit came back with requests for major revisions (experiments, basically). So I've been trying to run a GLUT4 blot for almost a month now. After troubleshooting the heck out of my non-polymerizing stacking gel (bad APS, needed de-gassing) and a bureaucratic snafu regarding the membrane protein extraction kit we needed, it's still not done. Here's hoping that next week will put the lid on this experiment and the paper can go back out. I've learned a lot about the paper submission process even though I'm not doing the actual writing or submitting, and I can conclude that it is a total pain. I'm not particularly looking forward to that part of getting my PhD now.
In contrast to most of October, I've been quite busy at work this month. The paper we are trying to submit came back with requests for major revisions (experiments, basically). So I've been trying to run a GLUT4 blot for almost a month now. After troubleshooting the heck out of my non-polymerizing stacking gel (bad APS, needed de-gassing) and a bureaucratic snafu regarding the membrane protein extraction kit we needed, it's still not done. Here's hoping that next week will put the lid on this experiment and the paper can go back out. I've learned a lot about the paper submission process even though I'm not doing the actual writing or submitting, and I can conclude that it is a total pain. I'm not particularly looking forward to that part of getting my PhD now.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
NaNoWriMo 2010 Week Two
NaNoWriMo is very hard for me this year. I'm still keeping up with word count, but this is so difficult. Last year, it was easier. It was more fun all the time. I think I only had a couple of days where I had to force myself just to make word count. This time it's almost every day that I struggle for the magic 1667 words.
Now last year I had a much more developed plot going into November, and I had an easier sort of plot as well. This year I went in with less plot developed, and this plot is much bigger and more difficult. This year my plot involves an entire planet, a society of my own making, genetic engineering, and a lot of computer hacking (which I'm all making up because I know absolutely nothing about hacking). Last year my plot centred on a family. I guess the bigness of the world I'm working with is overwhelming.
I have come up with some good ideas, enough to drive my plot to the 50,000 word finish, but it's making it a coherent story that is so hard. I'm struggling to write awkward scenes that string these cool scenes together. Maybe it will get easier once I get a little farther in, but this is not easy right now. But I still love doing it.
Now last year I had a much more developed plot going into November, and I had an easier sort of plot as well. This year I went in with less plot developed, and this plot is much bigger and more difficult. This year my plot involves an entire planet, a society of my own making, genetic engineering, and a lot of computer hacking (which I'm all making up because I know absolutely nothing about hacking). Last year my plot centred on a family. I guess the bigness of the world I'm working with is overwhelming.
I have come up with some good ideas, enough to drive my plot to the 50,000 word finish, but it's making it a coherent story that is so hard. I'm struggling to write awkward scenes that string these cool scenes together. Maybe it will get easier once I get a little farther in, but this is not easy right now. But I still love doing it.
Monday, November 1, 2010
NaNoWriMo 2010
National Novel Writing Month has officially started. I have 2425 words as of tonight. My goal is 50,000 words by November 30th. I expect not to blog for most of the month. Yay November!
Monday, October 25, 2010
X-Men post :)
I like the X-Men. Specifically I'm most fond of the 1980s Chris Claremont era X-Men, but I don't particularly hate anything that's been written. Yay X-Men. My favorite character is Magneto, because I have this thing for tragic anti-hero types. He's one of those characters that makes you question the morality of certain actions. Sometimes he seems crazy, and sometimes you sit there thinking that he's damn right.
So speaking of Magneto, this excellent little five-book series called Magneto:Testament came out a couple years ago. I finally got the last two issues that I was missing (missing due to an ex with no Christmas gift planning capabilities, but whatever). Anyway, it is awesome. Go read this series. Get it. It's fantastic. The art is lovely-haunting, really. The writers did a good job with historical accuracy too-it's obvious they were trying to approach Magneto's youth in the Holocaust without sacrificing the reality of what happened. If you know anything about the X-Men, you know Magneto loses his family in the Holocaust; it's no surprise when that happens in Testament, but damn the writers still made it hurt. It's fabulous.
Besides Testament, I'm plowing through House of M at the moment. More Magneto ftw.
So speaking of Magneto, this excellent little five-book series called Magneto:Testament came out a couple years ago. I finally got the last two issues that I was missing (missing due to an ex with no Christmas gift planning capabilities, but whatever). Anyway, it is awesome. Go read this series. Get it. It's fantastic. The art is lovely-haunting, really. The writers did a good job with historical accuracy too-it's obvious they were trying to approach Magneto's youth in the Holocaust without sacrificing the reality of what happened. If you know anything about the X-Men, you know Magneto loses his family in the Holocaust; it's no surprise when that happens in Testament, but damn the writers still made it hurt. It's fabulous.
Besides Testament, I'm plowing through House of M at the moment. More Magneto ftw.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Iowa
Last week I drove to Iowa with my family. We went to Ames for my great-aunt's memorial thing. It was a thing because there was no service and wine and cheese were served. Anyway, it was cool to be back in Ames, even if it was only for six hours. I got Hickory Park for dinner, so that's a win no matter what.
Anyhow, when we got to the thing (my great-aunt is Barbara Forker, by the way. The thing was held in the building with her name on it.) there are several people who apparently know who I am and apparently know that I'm coming back to school next fall. This is a big surprise to me, because even though I'd like to go back to ISU, I haven't even started my application yet. But they were all nice and maybe that bodes well for my chances of getting back in.
So a bunch of people spoke, including me, which everyone said I did well even though I made it all up on the spot. My dad went last, and told the entire assembly of mostly old people that my great-aunt was totally badass (it's true!). Afterwards we went to the cemetery for badass people from Iowa State to make sure that the marker was the right colour. My grandma had been obsessing about that.
So that's the story of my really fast trip to Ames and my badass great-aunt's memorial. Short and sweet. And apparently I need to get going on my grad school application, since everyone expects me to be back next August.
Anyhow, when we got to the thing (my great-aunt is Barbara Forker, by the way. The thing was held in the building with her name on it.) there are several people who apparently know who I am and apparently know that I'm coming back to school next fall. This is a big surprise to me, because even though I'd like to go back to ISU, I haven't even started my application yet. But they were all nice and maybe that bodes well for my chances of getting back in.
So a bunch of people spoke, including me, which everyone said I did well even though I made it all up on the spot. My dad went last, and told the entire assembly of mostly old people that my great-aunt was totally badass (it's true!). Afterwards we went to the cemetery for badass people from Iowa State to make sure that the marker was the right colour. My grandma had been obsessing about that.
So that's the story of my really fast trip to Ames and my badass great-aunt's memorial. Short and sweet. And apparently I need to get going on my grad school application, since everyone expects me to be back next August.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
National Novel Writing Month
It's October, which means I'm seriously thinking about my upcoming plunge into insanity, also known as National Novel Writing Month. That would be in November. This year will be my third year participating. Last year I "won" for the first time by writing a 50,000 word novel in one month. I actually have a proof copy sitting on my bookshelf, in case I ever decide to self-publish it. I probably won't, but having it in physical form is beyond cool.
I like to write. I have since I was very young. I vaguely recall writing some kind of story in first grade that involved my two best friends and a horse. I only remember the horse because I recall drawing a horse a lot. In middle school and high school, I struggled with prose and wrote poetry. I'm pretty sure that's because I can only write poetry while severely depressed, which is the state I spent middle and most of high school in. Now, I can barely write a poem, but I've got one story at 23,000 words and one complete novel, and hopefully this November I will add a second novel to that tally. (For the record, these are completely original works and not fanfiction. I can only write vignette-length fanfiction. It's weird, I know.)
Anyway, that's how I'm planning to spend my November. It will be fueled by a lot of caffeine, probably some unhealthy snacking, and the obnoxious feeling in the back of my head that there's a story that has to come out. It's crazy, it's hard (especially with a real job and grad school apps), and it's totally awesome.
I like to write. I have since I was very young. I vaguely recall writing some kind of story in first grade that involved my two best friends and a horse. I only remember the horse because I recall drawing a horse a lot. In middle school and high school, I struggled with prose and wrote poetry. I'm pretty sure that's because I can only write poetry while severely depressed, which is the state I spent middle and most of high school in. Now, I can barely write a poem, but I've got one story at 23,000 words and one complete novel, and hopefully this November I will add a second novel to that tally. (For the record, these are completely original works and not fanfiction. I can only write vignette-length fanfiction. It's weird, I know.)
Anyway, that's how I'm planning to spend my November. It will be fueled by a lot of caffeine, probably some unhealthy snacking, and the obnoxious feeling in the back of my head that there's a story that has to come out. It's crazy, it's hard (especially with a real job and grad school apps), and it's totally awesome.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Night Blooming Cereus
I meant to post this ages ago, but it's a bloom from a plant my grandmother has. She says it's a night-blooming Cereus. Anyway, I guess it only blooms once a year, in the evening, and the bloom dies after that. So she brought one over to show us.
More work drama
As far as I know, for now my job is safe. My supervisor had a chat with the deputy director, who sounded enthusiastic regarding our research and the shRNA core. At the moment, we appear to be safe, although there's still the question of whether we're going to stay in my previous boss' lab space forever. Of course, if the CEO has some weird vendetta against everyone, he could fire us all, but that sounds less likely at the moment. Unfortunately, we haven't had any meetings to discuss future research yet, so my job is pretty boring, but at least I still have one and don't have to navigate Michigan's ridiculous unemployment website yet.
But, my ex-boss appears to be cooking up some potential drama. Hopefully my supervisor and I can stay out of it and just be amused from the sidelines without getting dragged into anything weird. It's a bit tiring to have to continually deal with all of this, and it isn't helped by the fact that I'm sure this kind of crap goes on everywhere. At least I'm preparing to go back to school and don't need to stay at this job forever.
Other than the drama, I have just a couple of array experiments to finish, and one knockdown+chemical treatment experiment, and that's about it. So I haven't got a whole lot to do at the moment. I am going to Iowa next weekend for my great-aunt's memorial, after taking the biology GRE, so I'm taking a couple of days off work.
But, my ex-boss appears to be cooking up some potential drama. Hopefully my supervisor and I can stay out of it and just be amused from the sidelines without getting dragged into anything weird. It's a bit tiring to have to continually deal with all of this, and it isn't helped by the fact that I'm sure this kind of crap goes on everywhere. At least I'm preparing to go back to school and don't need to stay at this job forever.
Other than the drama, I have just a couple of array experiments to finish, and one knockdown+chemical treatment experiment, and that's about it. So I haven't got a whole lot to do at the moment. I am going to Iowa next weekend for my great-aunt's memorial, after taking the biology GRE, so I'm taking a couple of days off work.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Complications
So, as I alluded to in my last post, things have gotten very complicated regarding my work situation. I feel like it is now safe and appropriate for me to go into more detail. Basically, two Fridays ago my boss was fired from one of his positions. He had a dual appointment at the cancer center and the university, and the job he lost was the one at the cancer center. Because of that, he no longer has control of the grant that I am paid off of. So now I have no boss, and nothing to do at my job, and no idea if I will even keep my position. My supervisor (postdoc) and another tech are in the same boat as I am. We haven't received any communication from the Powers That Be, and my ex-boss doesn't have any information yet either. So it's possible that I will lose my job. My ex-boss mentioned to me that he may move to another university and would like to take me with him. That would be cool, but I don't know how long it will take to transfer and if it will even happen at all. So everything is up in the air at the moment.
The good news is that I do have an emergency fund that I can pay expenses off of if I get laid off, and I should qualify for unemployment benefits. In addition, I do have an inheritance coming from my great-aunt's estate, so I could completely pay off my student loans from that. Lastly, I am applying to graduate school next month, so it's possible that I may only be jobless for seven or eight months or so. My health insurance also won't be an issue-one of the good things from the health care bill is that I could go back on my father's insurance in January, so I would only have to pay out the ass for COBRA for a few months.
The worst part of this all is the uncertainty. I just wish that someone would tell me one way or the other if I have a job. That's the most annoying part.
The good news is that I do have an emergency fund that I can pay expenses off of if I get laid off, and I should qualify for unemployment benefits. In addition, I do have an inheritance coming from my great-aunt's estate, so I could completely pay off my student loans from that. Lastly, I am applying to graduate school next month, so it's possible that I may only be jobless for seven or eight months or so. My health insurance also won't be an issue-one of the good things from the health care bill is that I could go back on my father's insurance in January, so I would only have to pay out the ass for COBRA for a few months.
The worst part of this all is the uncertainty. I just wish that someone would tell me one way or the other if I have a job. That's the most annoying part.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Well...
Things have gotten a little weird at work. I can't really talk about it right now, but it's entirely possible my job could be moving from Karmanos to University of Michigan. I don't know much else at the moment.
In other news, I took the GRE today and got a really good score. The subject test is next month. Hopefully it will also go well.
I finished Tales of Symphonia over the weekend. As I expected it was really good, and to no one's surprise I cried at the end. Why is it my favorite character is always the one who leaves/has sad endings? I guess I just like antiheroes. So now I'm playing Animal Parade again, as well as Sunshine Islands on my DS. I'm waiting for Grand Bazaar, the next Professor Layton game, and a PS2 game called Shadow of Destiny. That will probably be my gaming docket until Christmas.
In other news, I took the GRE today and got a really good score. The subject test is next month. Hopefully it will also go well.
I finished Tales of Symphonia over the weekend. As I expected it was really good, and to no one's surprise I cried at the end. Why is it my favorite character is always the one who leaves/has sad endings? I guess I just like antiheroes. So now I'm playing Animal Parade again, as well as Sunshine Islands on my DS. I'm waiting for Grand Bazaar, the next Professor Layton game, and a PS2 game called Shadow of Destiny. That will probably be my gaming docket until Christmas.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Various Life Things
A lot of stuff has happened since I last updated.
First we had an issue at church, and that compounded with my mounting feelings of not belonging, I decided to stop going for at least a month. I have a lot of complex feelings about the whole thing. The essence of my issues is that I have no problems with God, but I have a lot of problems with a lot of his supposed followers, and I'm not sure where that leaves me. I may consider going to a Unitarian Universalist church, just because they don't hate anyone. I'm not sure.
Second one of our neighbors died. He committed suicide and set his house on fire. He was an old guy who lived alone and has no nearby family, and I feel bad. I wish that I had reached out to him; I don't know if it would have made a difference, but I hate to think that he died thinking nobody cared about him. That is also weighing very heavily on me.
Third, I started tracking my weight and food intake again. I've reached the point where the weight that was easy to lose is gone, and now I have to really push to get down to my goal weight. This could be difficult.
Fourth, work is going well. I have two major experiments that I'm preparing for right now. Both should be started at the end of September. I'm looking forward to getting the results and I'm glad that I'm not bored.
First we had an issue at church, and that compounded with my mounting feelings of not belonging, I decided to stop going for at least a month. I have a lot of complex feelings about the whole thing. The essence of my issues is that I have no problems with God, but I have a lot of problems with a lot of his supposed followers, and I'm not sure where that leaves me. I may consider going to a Unitarian Universalist church, just because they don't hate anyone. I'm not sure.
Second one of our neighbors died. He committed suicide and set his house on fire. He was an old guy who lived alone and has no nearby family, and I feel bad. I wish that I had reached out to him; I don't know if it would have made a difference, but I hate to think that he died thinking nobody cared about him. That is also weighing very heavily on me.
Third, I started tracking my weight and food intake again. I've reached the point where the weight that was easy to lose is gone, and now I have to really push to get down to my goal weight. This could be difficult.
Fourth, work is going well. I have two major experiments that I'm preparing for right now. Both should be started at the end of September. I'm looking forward to getting the results and I'm glad that I'm not bored.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
First Trip on a Sailboat
Last Friday my boss decided that we all needed to go have a picnic at the marina where he keeps his sailboat. Steve loves his boat, and we hear about it all the time. Needless to say, some of the older lab members were bemoaning the boat and hinting that Steve would want to spend all evening there. So I was worried, because I like spending my Friday nights not with my coworkers. I like them all, but I see them all week, you know.
Anyway, it was actually pretty fun. I got there and had a couple of beers (Leinenkugel Oktoberfest) and Steve grilled hamburgers. Then it was time for the boat. Thankfully, there were too many people there for everyone to go on the boat at once, so we split into groups and each boat ride was only 1.5 hours. I'd never been on a sailboat before, only canoes and motorboats, so it was neat to see how a sailboat worked. We went out a couple of miles into Lake St. Clair, and it was cool when the motor was killed and we were going only on the sails. It was neat, and it was nice to be out on a lake since it's been a while.
So overall, it was enjoyable. I had fun, and I didn't have to stay all night, and now I can say I've been on a sailboat.
Anyway, it was actually pretty fun. I got there and had a couple of beers (Leinenkugel Oktoberfest) and Steve grilled hamburgers. Then it was time for the boat. Thankfully, there were too many people there for everyone to go on the boat at once, so we split into groups and each boat ride was only 1.5 hours. I'd never been on a sailboat before, only canoes and motorboats, so it was neat to see how a sailboat worked. We went out a couple of miles into Lake St. Clair, and it was cool when the motor was killed and we were going only on the sails. It was neat, and it was nice to be out on a lake since it's been a while.
So overall, it was enjoyable. I had fun, and I didn't have to stay all night, and now I can say I've been on a sailboat.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Stratford Shakespeare Festival: Other Stuff
So besides seeing plays, I mostly ate a lot of food, drank a lot of drinks, and went shopping. I was only there for three days, it's not like I had loads of time to muck about. Anyway, I stayed at Bentley's. It's both a pub and inn. The rooms there are extremely nice. So are the drinks. I had a martini called "Taming of the Shrew." It involved raspberry, melon, and vanilla liquor, and it was delicious.
That's the front. Apologies for the lamppost in the way. The other best food place is the Boar's Head pub.
They serve wild boar pub burgers there. They are really good. It's a denser sort of meat, kind of like buffalo, and it tastes pork-ish. Anyway, they're good and I recommend them to all omnivores. I just had Guinness to drink there since it was pub food. They also have sticky toffee pudding, which is heavenly. That's a sort of bread pudding, not American jello type pudding. It's delicious, and I'm sad that I can only get it in Stratford.
So, that was Stratford. I always wish I could stay longer, because it's nice and Canadian and different.
That's the front. Apologies for the lamppost in the way. The other best food place is the Boar's Head pub.
They serve wild boar pub burgers there. They are really good. It's a denser sort of meat, kind of like buffalo, and it tastes pork-ish. Anyway, they're good and I recommend them to all omnivores. I just had Guinness to drink there since it was pub food. They also have sticky toffee pudding, which is heavenly. That's a sort of bread pudding, not American jello type pudding. It's delicious, and I'm sad that I can only get it in Stratford.So, that was Stratford. I always wish I could stay longer, because it's nice and Canadian and different.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Stratford Shakespeare Festival: The Plays
While at Stratford this year, I saw two plays: The Two Gentlemen of Verona and The Tempest. Two Gents was the first of the two; it was a matinee show at the Studio Theatre. The Studio is a small theatre, and even at the last row I could clearly see all the actors. I've not read Two Gents, so seeing the play was my first experience with it. The play itself is supposed to be one of Shakespeare's earlier plays, which is obvious due to a plot hole one could drive a semi-truck through. But it was acted very well. All of the actors did a great job, especially those playing Launce and Speed. I really liked the setting as well; it was set in a 1920s vaudeville period, which worked perfectly with the play. It was certainly very enjoyable.
In the evening I saw The Tempest. I knew it would be amazing because Christopher Plummer was playing Prospero, but wow. It was an experience. Everyone was fantastic. Christopher Plummer made me cry with his final monologue. His rapport with Ariel was fabulous. Even more minor characters like Trinculo were hilarious. The actor playing Caliban also did a great job. What made it even better was that I was in the very front row of the Festival Theatre, so I could see all of the subtleties that one would miss further back. It was definitely the best performance of The Tempest I've ever seen. Again, the costuming was beautiful, and the staging fantastic. The complexities of the stage movements were really cool. I'm so thrilled I was able to be so close, especially to see someone as truly talented as Christopher Plummer.
Overall, it was fantastic to see both plays. I wish I could have seen A Winter's Tale and As You Like It, but couldn't afford it. I heard that Twelfth Night will be playing next year; hopefully I will make it back to see it. And hopefully I'll be in the front row again!
In the evening I saw The Tempest. I knew it would be amazing because Christopher Plummer was playing Prospero, but wow. It was an experience. Everyone was fantastic. Christopher Plummer made me cry with his final monologue. His rapport with Ariel was fabulous. Even more minor characters like Trinculo were hilarious. The actor playing Caliban also did a great job. What made it even better was that I was in the very front row of the Festival Theatre, so I could see all of the subtleties that one would miss further back. It was definitely the best performance of The Tempest I've ever seen. Again, the costuming was beautiful, and the staging fantastic. The complexities of the stage movements were really cool. I'm so thrilled I was able to be so close, especially to see someone as truly talented as Christopher Plummer.
Overall, it was fantastic to see both plays. I wish I could have seen A Winter's Tale and As You Like It, but couldn't afford it. I heard that Twelfth Night will be playing next year; hopefully I will make it back to see it. And hopefully I'll be in the front row again!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
23rd Birthday
Thursday was my 23rd birthday. I took the day off of work, since I didn't really have much to do anyway. Instead I went to lunch with my best friend Jasmine and her daughter Vivi. We went to a new restaurant in Southfield called Taste of Ethiopia. We had their lunch buffet and it was delicious! It was also very affordable. They had a lot of options, mild and spicy. After that, we went to Just Baked in Twelve Oaks mall and had cupcakes! I had the Rocky Road flavour and the Blueberry Cobbler. They're delicious and I especially liked them because they didn't have frosting on them. I don't like most frosting. Then I went out in the evening with my parents to Olive Garden, and we had ice cream cake. My cake had dinosaurs on it and a volcano. It was pretty cool. Anyway, it was a good day and I enjoyed having the day off.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Silkworms
There's a butterfly room in the Phipps Conservatory, and in this case they had silkworms. I'd never seen real silkworms before, and they're pretty cool!
Friday, July 30, 2010
More video games, job thoughts
I finished the main storyline in Star Ocean 3. All in all, it was a fun game. It had a decent story, although a bit hackneyed, and it was entertaining. The voice acting made me cringe though-I'm glad I decided to turn it off for all the parts that I could. I did a couple of the optional dungeons but decided I had enough and turned to another game I never finished.
So this week I started for the second time Tales of Symphonia. It's another huge long epic RPG involving saving the world and all that jazz. Lloyd and Colette are just as irritating as Fayt and Sophia, but Kratos makes up for it in spades. I'm trying to get used to the battle system because I have less maneuverability than I did in Star Ocean on the battlefield, and not having a map to complete is oddly weirding me out. But otherwise, so far so good. I did crack and order a strategy guide for this one though, because I know it's a huge game and I'll miss a million things on my own.
Other than that, my life has been fairly dull. Work has been very slow, since people are going on vacation often and we're in between experiments. I have been studying for the GRE, which I'm taking in September. I also decided to apply for the PhD in Microbiology, not the MS. Working in a lab for almost a year has helped me realize that I do want to do research, and that I'm good at it, so I'd rather just go for the PhD at Iowa State. I'm pretty sure I'll get in, but I'm still nervous as hell about it.
So this week I started for the second time Tales of Symphonia. It's another huge long epic RPG involving saving the world and all that jazz. Lloyd and Colette are just as irritating as Fayt and Sophia, but Kratos makes up for it in spades. I'm trying to get used to the battle system because I have less maneuverability than I did in Star Ocean on the battlefield, and not having a map to complete is oddly weirding me out. But otherwise, so far so good. I did crack and order a strategy guide for this one though, because I know it's a huge game and I'll miss a million things on my own.
Other than that, my life has been fairly dull. Work has been very slow, since people are going on vacation often and we're in between experiments. I have been studying for the GRE, which I'm taking in September. I also decided to apply for the PhD in Microbiology, not the MS. Working in a lab for almost a year has helped me realize that I do want to do research, and that I'm good at it, so I'd rather just go for the PhD at Iowa State. I'm pretty sure I'll get in, but I'm still nervous as hell about it.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monongahela Incline
This is the Monongahela Incline in Pittsburgh. It was built 130 years ago and was used as a transit mode for people who worked in the steel mills. They would take the incline from their homes at the top of Mount Washington to their jobs at the mills on the river. It's one of two inclines still in working condition and people still use it now as a transit mode.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Pittsburgh
I went to Pittsburgh last week with the family to see my brother. It was pretty chill and nice to not be at work. My brother is not so good at doing tourist-y things so we didn't do as much as I wanted. We did go to the Phipps Conservatory, which is really cool. Their Agave americana is blooming right now. It actually grows about a foot a day and is growing through the roof of the glass house. We also went on the Monongahela incline, which is one of two surviving inclines. It's a neat mode of transit that was built to transport workers who lived on top of Mount Washington to their jobs at the steel mills at the river. Super cool. I'll post pictures later.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Star Ocean
I was in a weird mood this past week in that I wanted to play a super long epic RPG game, so I started over my Star Ocean: Til The End of Time game. I had gotten to almost the end of the first disc a couple of years ago, found myself way under-leveled, got bored, and stop playing. I started over because I couldn't remember exactly what I was doing. Anyway, I'm rapidly approaching the place where I left off last time, and I think I'm in a slightly better position now. At least enemies that I remember having lots of trouble with aren't an issue, and I still have a lot of extra places to complete before having to go back to the Urssa Lava caves where I was stuck last time.
Anyway, it's a good game. I enjoy it. I play with the voice acting off, though. VA annoys me in general. Some of the cut scenes are unbearably long too. I know they were trying for a big sweeping story, but when I need to eat dinner/go somewhere/etc, the last thing I want is a 15 minute cut scene. But whatever, I can live with it.
I'm really going to try and finish the game this time. Then I might check out the other installments in the Star Ocean universe, if I can get my hands on them and if I have the system to play them on.
Anyway, it's a good game. I enjoy it. I play with the voice acting off, though. VA annoys me in general. Some of the cut scenes are unbearably long too. I know they were trying for a big sweeping story, but when I need to eat dinner/go somewhere/etc, the last thing I want is a 15 minute cut scene. But whatever, I can live with it.
I'm really going to try and finish the game this time. Then I might check out the other installments in the Star Ocean universe, if I can get my hands on them and if I have the system to play them on.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Body Type and Why Shopping is Annoying
I went to JC Penney today in hopes of getting some shirts, because I feel like I've been wearing the same 5 shirts to work.
What a pain in the ass. Why are all the summer tops made for women that have no breasts? I saw lots of shirts in cute styles, but they were all sheer and required a camisole underneath. That's great, except for the fact that DD-breasted women can't wear just a camisole to support their breasts. I can't, anyway. I need something that I can wear an actual bra under without showing it to the world, and apparently no one makes much of that.
What was frustrating and disheartening about this was that I know it's not something I can easily fix. It's easier to look at clothes and think, "I'll be able to wear that when I hit my weight loss goal." But when I look at clothes and think, "I might be able to wear that after a $7000 breast reduction, and even that it might look damn silly," it just pisses me off. My body type means I'll always have sizable breasts, even with a reduction, so to some extent I'm stuck. Which is annoying, because some of these clothes are cute!
tl;dr Hey clothes companies: most women aren't prepubescent! Make clothes that fit people with boobs too!
What a pain in the ass. Why are all the summer tops made for women that have no breasts? I saw lots of shirts in cute styles, but they were all sheer and required a camisole underneath. That's great, except for the fact that DD-breasted women can't wear just a camisole to support their breasts. I can't, anyway. I need something that I can wear an actual bra under without showing it to the world, and apparently no one makes much of that.
What was frustrating and disheartening about this was that I know it's not something I can easily fix. It's easier to look at clothes and think, "I'll be able to wear that when I hit my weight loss goal." But when I look at clothes and think, "I might be able to wear that after a $7000 breast reduction, and even that it might look damn silly," it just pisses me off. My body type means I'll always have sizable breasts, even with a reduction, so to some extent I'm stuck. Which is annoying, because some of these clothes are cute!
tl;dr Hey clothes companies: most women aren't prepubescent! Make clothes that fit people with boobs too!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
World Cup
This year is the first year I've actually paid attention to the World Cup. It's not for lack of interest; I played soccer for seven years and enjoy the sport, and I did watch the totally awesome 1999 women's World Cup, but for some reason I've never paid attention to the men. But this year I am, because for no other reason than I'm bored at work sometimes. And I've got to say that so far it's been entertaining. The US-Algeria game today was some excellent soccer to watch, and everyone in the lab started cheering when the US made that last-minute goal. I'm thrilled to pieces that France went home, since they shouldn't have even been there in the first place; and somewhat distraught that South Africa didn't make it out of their group, although they really played their best and should be proud.
I wish soccer had more of a following in the US. It seems like every kid plays soccer, but that doesn't translate to anyone watching it or following teams. There is a pro soccer league, but it's probably rather small. I know Detroit had a team for a while, but they moved because there wasn't enough support(hell, we can't even keep a WNBA team here. I think soccer's much more interesting than American football, whose mystique I still fail to comprehend. I just don't get it.
I wish soccer had more of a following in the US. It seems like every kid plays soccer, but that doesn't translate to anyone watching it or following teams. There is a pro soccer league, but it's probably rather small. I know Detroit had a team for a while, but they moved because there wasn't enough support(hell, we can't even keep a WNBA team here. I think soccer's much more interesting than American football, whose mystique I still fail to comprehend. I just don't get it.
Monday, June 21, 2010
What the heck do I do at my job anyway?
I've worked at Karmanos Cancer Institute for almost nine months now as a research assistant in one of the breast cancer research labs. I got the job in a roundabout way that involved my step-aunt's best friend, the CFO of Karmanos, passing my resume to my now-boss who called me because I was apparently well-qualified. The upshot being that I work as a research assistant now, which means I do most of the work without getting much of the glory. Oh well. It's not forever.
At the moment, I am in the midst of a rather large experiment involving a panel of genes that are candidates as either oncogenes or genes that are regulated by an oncogene. What I do with these candidate genes is make an shRNA against each one and infect my target cells with said shRNA to knock down the gene's expression. Then I wait and measure growth and viability with a luciferase assay to determine the effect of knocking down the gene. In this experiment I have 20 genes and 148 shRNA constructs. That means I spent all of last week making 148 viruses to infect my target cells with. It was unpleasant. This week I get to infect my target cells, which are MCF10A and SUM225 lines. I do the infection in triplicate, which worked out to 444 wells, or four and a half 96-well plates. It's also unpleasant, mostly because I have to add the virus one at a time and can't use a multichannel pipettor. After that, I wait and see what happens. Our constructs have a GFP tag in them so after 24-48 hours I should be able to see some of my infected cells glowing green, and that's how I know that the infection worked.
Anyway, that's what I'm doing at the moment. Previously I did some work on PHGDH knockdown and insulin independence, which was mostly growth assays, Western Blots, and qPCR. I'm not fond of Western Blots. I'll complain about them another time. I've actually learned a lot in the nine months I've been working, and I feel a lot more confident that I can do science and could have a career as a research somewhere. Although I feel my leanings are toward some part of microbiology, the time I've served in cancer research will definitely benefit me.
At the moment, I am in the midst of a rather large experiment involving a panel of genes that are candidates as either oncogenes or genes that are regulated by an oncogene. What I do with these candidate genes is make an shRNA against each one and infect my target cells with said shRNA to knock down the gene's expression. Then I wait and measure growth and viability with a luciferase assay to determine the effect of knocking down the gene. In this experiment I have 20 genes and 148 shRNA constructs. That means I spent all of last week making 148 viruses to infect my target cells with. It was unpleasant. This week I get to infect my target cells, which are MCF10A and SUM225 lines. I do the infection in triplicate, which worked out to 444 wells, or four and a half 96-well plates. It's also unpleasant, mostly because I have to add the virus one at a time and can't use a multichannel pipettor. After that, I wait and see what happens. Our constructs have a GFP tag in them so after 24-48 hours I should be able to see some of my infected cells glowing green, and that's how I know that the infection worked.
Anyway, that's what I'm doing at the moment. Previously I did some work on PHGDH knockdown and insulin independence, which was mostly growth assays, Western Blots, and qPCR. I'm not fond of Western Blots. I'll complain about them another time. I've actually learned a lot in the nine months I've been working, and I feel a lot more confident that I can do science and could have a career as a research somewhere. Although I feel my leanings are toward some part of microbiology, the time I've served in cancer research will definitely benefit me.
Change in Blog
So I decided to make this my sole blog and do both photo posts and 'normal' posts for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I don't take enough photos to really fulfill the original purpose of this blog, which was to post loads of photographs. Secondly, I'd like a space on the internet to discuss topics that aren't necessarily of importance to any of my friends, and this avoids me spamming people on facebook or other sites.
Mostly I'll talk about my job, my research, my writing, and random things like video games or books. I'll still post pictures too, when I have some to upload. I'm hoping to avoid this becoming an angry ranty blog about everything stupid in my life or anything too adult content(although I've got a bit of a mouth and the occasional *swear* might slip out). Anyway, that's the plan. We'll see how it goes.
Mostly I'll talk about my job, my research, my writing, and random things like video games or books. I'll still post pictures too, when I have some to upload. I'm hoping to avoid this becoming an angry ranty blog about everything stupid in my life or anything too adult content(although I've got a bit of a mouth and the occasional *swear* might slip out). Anyway, that's the plan. We'll see how it goes.
Lilies
These are some red lilies that my grandmother gave me years ago. We ended up dividing them and put some of them on one side of the house and some on the other.
These yellow lilies are the more wild variety that spread out everywhere. My ex-boyfriend gave me the plant; at least he had taste at some point. Anyway, I like the wild-looking ones and apparently they spread out everywhere if you let them.
Plant?
This is a bush we have in our backyard. For some reason I've spent my entire life calling it a hummingbird bush, but it's called something else that I can't remember instead. My mum bought it at Eastern Market years ago. It does actually attract hummingbirds, but it's not a hummingbird bush.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Bunny!
This big fat bunny lives in our yard. I think it's the mom because there's at least one little tiny baby bunny hopping around too. Memo tries to talk to the bunnies, but they never talk back. I think he's confused by them.
Relay for Life
I did Relay for Life last month with my church team. I chopped my hair off and donated it to Locks of Love.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Foodchain Friends!
They're friends. They eat each other. It's a complicated relationship. I bought them from ThinkGeek.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Memo's Birthday Present
I got Memo a window perch for his third birthday. He loves looking out the window but the sill is too small for him to fit on when they're closed. He loves the perch and hasn't done anything except sit on it since I gave it to him.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Tulips and Cherry Tree
The tulips were just finishing up and the cherry tree is just starting to bloom!
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