Winter is coming...

Tonight is the end of Daylight Savings Time. In about an hour, I have to set my clocks back. While I like getting an extra hour, I really dislike how early it gets dark when Daylight Savings is over. The darkness makes me get tired so much more easily, and it stinks to go into work when it's dark and leave when it's dark. I need to set up my Ott Lite. It's good for using for crafts, but I mostly use it to combat seasonal affective disorder. It does help some, but winter can be kind of rough for me.
It's also rough because there's less gardening I can do. Gardening isn't just a hobby or a potential business for me. It's also very therapeutic. I have an anxiety disorder and gardening is one of the best treatments I have. So now in the winter, when I have less outdoor plants and less to do, it can be a bummer. I did sow my epiphyllum seeds yesterday, so hopefully those will grow successfully and they can be one of my winter projects. I also started a little bit of catnip for Leo. He loves the fresh leaves so much. I grow wheatgrass for Memo year-round, so it seemed unfair to not grow something for Leo (he doesn't like grass for some reason). I'm sure that I can find some other little projects to do during the winter. I just hope winter doesn't last until May this year!

And now for something completely different

This post is not about gardening so if that's what you care about, you might want to skip this one. I'm about to complain about work.
Okay, complaining about work. Actually, I want to complain about my stupid DNA and that it won't do what I want. I have three different cloning projects going on right now and all three of them are being stupid. I seriously wish I could beat this DNA into submission. It's pissing me off, and I'm on a deadline so it feels like wasting time, but I can't make bacteria grow any faster. It's very frustrating. At least I have one thing that's sort of working but it's not really a big thing, so I really need these cloning things to get their shit together and work properly. URGH. It's just so annoying and frustrating.
On a non-complaining side, I have done an awesome job at not overeating this week! It doesn't sound like much but it's a big deal to me, because I struggle with emotional overeating so much. I'm going to keep working hard at this and string a bunch of good days and weeks together now. I've lost 4 pounds, which isn't a lot but it's a good start and I feel good about it. I think the hardest thing now is not overeating at restaurants and things like that, because it's so tempting to! At least I know I can control my food intake, even when I'm stressed out and anxious.

Taking Control of my Health

So, in case anyone who reads this doesn't know, I'm overweight. In fact, according to the BMI scale, I'm obese. I need to lose weight. I gained it it all in college-first the usual freshman 15 because woo dorm food and now my mum isn't here to tell me to eat my vegetables, and then as a way to self-medicate my then-undiagnosed generalized anxiety disorder. When I left Washington DC, I was over 200 pounds. I went down to about 180 when I lived at home, and now I'm 230 pounds. Way too much. My ideal weight is somewhere between 140 and 160.
I've been halfheartedly trying to lose weight for a while. I'll do okay for a few days and then go back to eating shit. I have a gym membership but don't go much because I feel so tired after work. I order out for food way too much because I'm stressed after work. All of this is complicated and wrapped up in my anxiety disorder, because I have a pattern of eating to avoid feeling the anxiety. I'm at the point now where I haven't gained weight in about a year, but I also haven't lost any.
Today my grandmother was diagnosed with diabetic cervical reticulopathy (nerve pain in the back due to diabetes) and liver damage of some kind (I don't have the full story yet but I suspect it's NASH). She's already an insulin dependent diabetic. Her weight and poor eating habits have finally caught up to her.
I can't keep waiting and half-assing my weight loss attempts. If I do that I'll end up like her. I've been lucky so far-the only consequence of my weight has been one high triglyceride measurement. But I'm not getting any younger and the consequences could be right around the corner.
I guess I'm writing this because I need to tell someone that I have got to do it right this time. Weight loss will be complex for me because I have to continue to treat my anxiety disorder along with changing my diet. But it must happen. I cannot wait around anymore.

Last week of February

Memo is sitting here helping me write this post. Actually he's just staring at the screen. Maybe he's proofreading for me. Anyway, not much has happened since my last entry where I busted my elbow. That was the most exciting part of the week. We had a load of snow Tuesday night and I was sick and stayed home Wednesday. We're supposed to get more snow starting tonight. I'm really hoping that's the end of it, because I am so sick of winter.
Yesterday, Dan and I went to visit Furry Friends, where I adopted Leo. We like going and petting all the cats. They had three hairless cats there! So we got to pet them. I'd never touched a hairless cat before. They were very sweet cats, although they looked like gremlins. They were kind of weird to pet because there was no fur at all, but they were really warm. There were lots of people interested in them and at least one went home while we were there, so I think they'll get adopted pretty fast.
I'm still babying my stupid elbow and hoping it'll get better soon. It's bruised pretty badly so I don't know how long this will take to heal completely. I've accidentally bumped it a couple of times and it feels like someone's setting my arm on fire when I do that. It sucks massively. I should count my blessings though and be happy that it isn't broken, because that would have meant surgery with pins in my arm and a sling and all that crap.

Busted Elbow

I was walking into work this morning. There was less than half an inch of snow on the ground, and I'd had very few issues driving in. Well, the dumbasses at Iowa State hadn't bothered to salt the parking lot ahead of the snow, because there was a sheet of solid ice covering part of the lot. And I stepped onto it and went flying...and I landed directly on my right elbow.
Wow, it really hurt. My first thought as I was laying on the ground looking at the sky was that I had broken something. The pain was awful and shooting up and down my arm. I managed to get up and get inside with the help of two very nice people who had heard me groaning in pain. Thanks, two people whose names I didn't get. Anyway, I made it into lab and my arm was in agony. Of course we have no painkillers there. I clearly need to bring some in my bag next time. I sat for about an hour just trying to calm myself down--my body immediately reacted to being hurt by freaking out and I was feeling lightheaded and nauseated, just like when I get a blood draw. Eventually that feeling went away and I managed to get some lab work done, although I had to do all my pipetting left-handed. Trying to use my right hand made pain shoot up my arm.
By noon, the pain hadn't subsided and I was getting worried, so I called and made an appointment at the doctor. I got in, spent a long time waiting because it was really busy, and eventually got an exam and x-rays. The good news is that I didn't break my elbow. The bad news is that it's bruised to hell and back and retaining fluid. Unfortunately all I can do about it is take NSAIDs, ice, and gently wrap it and try to be nice to it. It could be a couple of weeks before it's completely back to normal.
The only good thing that came out of this is that I went home after the doctor's appointment and it's lucky that I did. The snow was so bad that I wouldn't have been able to get into my parking lot if I had stayed at work until 5 like usual. I had to get out and shovel just so that I could pull all the way into my parking spot.
That's the story of my busted elbow. Apparently my bones are freakishly strong, since I have escaped breaking a bone yet again.

Medical Stuff

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday. The good news is that I'd lost a couple of pounds since I'd been there last month. Yay! That made me happy because I've been trying really hard to get into the weight loss groove and really eat better. It's been up and down but overall I've been doing a little bit better with eating less. I had a bunch of blood work done too, which is not fun. I always get faint. Thankfully, the ladies in the lab are really good and it didn't hurt too much. Plus they gave me an apple juice after I was done so that I felt better. They called today to give me the lab results. They're mailing the results too, so I didn't get any specific numbers. The good news is that my blood sugar and thyroid are totally normal. That's a relief because Type II diabetes runs in my family like crazy so I worry about that the most. The bad news is that my triglycerides are high. They didn't say how high, and I wasn't given a prescription, so probably not mega-high. They also mentioned a liver enzyme that was high, but I don't know which one or if that's related to the triglycerides or not. The way to deal with it is the same stuff I've been working on to lose weight-more exercise, less sugary foods, less trans fats. The other thing is more omega-3 fatty acids. I don't eat a lot of fish because it's so expensive, and fish oil capsules are huge and taste like butts. Today I was able to find krill oil capsules, which are smaller and don't taste awful. Hopefully those will also help.