So I've obviously had a rough month or so. Final exams are this week, and then classes will be done. But next week I start my next rotation. This one is really important, because if I can't get into this lab, I won't have any funding left and I'll essentially be stuck and have to leave the program. I really don't want that to happen because I don't want to feel like I've failed at graduate school twice. Honestly, I don't think that will happen, but I have an anxiety disorder so I spend too much time worrying about this shit.
Since class is almost done, I've moved to trying to spend some of my time making sure I'm taking care of myself mentally. I kind of got into this issue with school due to my depression and anxiety, and now I'm climbing out of it. Summer is a little iffy in terms of therapy that's available, so I've turned to the magic of the internet. My group this semester was about mindfulness and stress reduction, and there are actually a lot of cool (and free!) apps on Android that are guided meditations or mindfulness practices. Since I have an Android tablet, I've started using a bunch of those and my tablet is now my little personal meditation device. It's actually pretty cool and is really helpful. So even if I can't go to a group therapy again until fall, I feel like I have a lot of tools to make it through.
I'm also hoping that taking care of myself mentally will also help me take better care of myself physically. I gained some weight this semester which obviously bummed me out. I'm trying to get back on track and eat better portions and eat less emotionally. It's sort of slowly working, but it's still difficult. I'm trying to drink a lot more water and tea to stay full for longer, and I'm also trying to drink a fruit smoothie every day that I make in my blender to make sure I get my fruit servings. Now if I can just convince myself to eat less pizza, everything would be fine.
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